Have you ever been a victim of sexual harassment?

I have no idea why I remembered this tonight, but when I was in my 20's I was. He was a real jerk (and my boss, of course). Couldn't even report him to anyone in the company. Can you guess why? Yep, he was the EOO (the one people went to when they needed to report sexual harassment). When he realized I wouldn't "play" I was demoted and transferred to another department.

Funny, the things we remember... out of the blue... many years later... when we least expect to.

n/t

...career wise, that is.

And no, it didn't turn out so great. :(

Not having been there, I suppose it's hard to imagine what that must be like - having a person in a position of authority trying to control and intimidate you that way. It has to be frightening and maddening at the same time.

I wasn't frightened enough... looking back. It was maddening, though.

affection...

It was very uncomfortable...

,, is definitely an appropriate word when discussing this issue.

But, in all honesty, it worked out better for me...

I just made it clear I wouldn't tolerate it and it stopped and I didn't have to pursue it.

I have had three bosses develop serious crushes on me, but it wasn't like harrassment. One kept it secret until years later. Another stupidly wrote an E-MAIL confessing his soul, but it was handled very professionally after I told him it wasn't reciprocal.

And a third never said anything, but when I told him I was engaged our relationship totally changed and he stopped protecting my job in a budget-cutting process as he had promised.

..aren't there? There were men bosses I had who I knew had crushes on me... I didn't really mind it as long as they didn't cross the line. The EOO of that company crossed the line, one day, when he cornered me in the file room.

In that case I have. But since I'm not gay it never really went anywhere. Did not effect my job. And I could kick his ass if he got too fresh.

Told the boss i wasn't interested. He wrote some negative items in my evaluation.
Contested it. He took them out, but transferred me to another area. Not a demotion,
though. Jerk. p

..from my experiences and observations in life.

... you have the ability to do that.

I think it would give too much power to the people involved.

And, on that note I am going to bed. Good night, Writer... sleep well. :hi:

All I can say is:Yes, you do need to report the fucker.

...whenever there is a way.

Staying late at the courthouse working on a jury charge.

The assistant prosecutor cornered me and stood there and committed indecent exposure.

I was horrified and nervous as hell. He was acting like a three year old proud of his new toy. Waved it around. I should have gone to the elected D.A. but I did not. Back in those days we called it "stupid stuff that some men do".

I don't even know what to say. But I feel almost lucky that the guy that cornered me didn't go that far. Ick. :-(

"Is that all?"

Most guys would have their egos deflated. But obviously an icky situation.

but Id like to be......

I know you don't really mean that!

There's this 50-something woman at work. She always makes comments. It's uncomfortable.

The worst was when this slimeball owner of the store I worked for cut my hours way back. I asked if I couldn't work one more day a week, and he told me I could work on the cot in the basement of the store. I couldn't believe he was serious. Then he gave me a sad story about his wife being unable to have sex anymore, blahdeblah.

I didn't have money for a lawyer; and I couldn't have proved anything if I'd been able to afford one. So I just didn't show up for work again...found a waitress job down the street from the store and earned 3 times more money.

That is horrible. At least you found a job earning more money.

a sergeant (with a repuation for harassment) cornered me in an office when I was an airman in the USAF and tried to paw me but I picked up a heavy stapler and smashed his face with it, breaking his nose and some teeth. Guess what? That f****er never tried to bother me again, proving they can INDEED "help themselves". Worked better than REPORTING him, that's for sure.

You know... I hesitated before using the word victim. But, for some reason, just felt like it would fit in the thread subject line better. Plus, I let myself become one... I my case.

I once had a woman interviewing me ask, "What turns you on?"

While I was 22 or 23 at the time and all kinds of naughty thoughts went through my head, I'm pretty sure she had meant, "What motivates you at work?" - only, it just came out in a way that Dr. Freud would have a field day with...

I do know my old departments had fired or suspended people over sexual harrassment issues, though. (Deservedly so, too) Despite turning into an evil health insurance company, this company was actually very progressive and proactive in that regards, as this was 1993 or 1994 or so.

..in that interview. Strange. I'm glad you worked for a company that dealt with the issue. Too bad they turned into an evil health insurance company, though. :-(

but, the company that ended up becoming a health insurance company (they used to sell all lines of insurance, but then decided to concentrate almost exclusively on health insurance) was the one that fired the people over sexual harrassment - including one woman.

The incident with the woman was at an I/T department picnic. It was at some sort of park that had a pool. I guess there was some alcohol involved and when one guy came out of the pool, the woman pulled down his swimsuit...

The other incident even made the newspapers. But, there was this weekend ski trip the department sponsored. It has previously been an all guys sort of thing, but this time a few women came as well... but, a few guys seemed to forget that in making obnoxious sexually degrading remarks. Those two guys were suspended for 30 days each. However, the two senior executives - the VPs who managed the two suspended guys - at the picnic were both fired.

He was later arrested in the Caribbean with some male grad students and drugs.

.. how we can see people's "karma" (even though I really hate that word) catch up with them at times.

And I couldn't report it to my boss because my bosses were the ones who sexually harrassed me.

yes, it makes me uncomfortable to have to talk to my manager about work w/ pictures of naked women on the walls.

I was 18 at the time, and had no idea that it would have been ok to say something.

...he was a mechanic... so I saw stuff like that on the walls of auto shops at a very young age. It probably didn't bother me as much as it should have.

The door opened, and the smell of boxed wine hit me in the face.. An inebriated lady of the house made me 'dance' for her before I could get my peanut butter cup...

it was terrible...

...never mind.

that question just seems silly. We couldn't hold jobs without being harassed.

So that's the reason I had 22 jobs before I was 40 years old?

But I started working in the early 60's and sexual harassment was just a part of the job...any job. Of course, in those days the newspapers separated jobs by male and female and were even allowed to state a preference as to race. Women weren't -supposed- to be working, the were supposed to be in the home raising kids and any woman who worked outside her home was fair game.

Nobody to complain to, either (no such thing as an EOO in those days). If you tried, you were told to suck it up and realize that this was part of holding a job, told to stay away from the offender, or fired. It was so institutionalized that we never gave it another thought...we knew it was going to happen and that we'd probably end up trying to find another job if we couldn't convince the boss that he was getting nowhere.

Sorry... I should have made that clear. But, now that I think about it, I always did get along better with women bosses. Maybe that's why. Also, I didn't ever get married until I was 32 years old. There were times, unfortunately, when guys in the workplace saw me as "fair game" since I was single.

I'm glad I didn't work in the 60's. I'm sure I would have switched jobs every two months instead of every 6 months! lol!

later on a few were in hot water with the organization about it.

They saw it as "guy talk" and couldn't understand why female employees were offended.


there's an odd place between joking around and crossing the line.

...but it was *not* tolerated by some of my female co-workers. I remember one older employee who was really targeted once the male employees realized it upset her. She should have used reverse psychology. I felt badly for her. And, now, realize it was indeed a form of sexual harassment in itself.

Some people need to be hit over the head that some things are inappropriate in the workplace. Dirty jokes, racist jokes, commenting on people's appearance (really, it's best just to avoid it). My standard is, if it is not something you would say in front of your mother/sister/female friend, they you probably ought not to say it at work.

It isn't that complicated, hitting on someone you supervise makes you an asshole, at the very least.

I worked in a string quartet a few years ago with a guy who was verbally abusive toward me, though not in a sexual way for the most part...just an asshole. He loved making comments about women's inferiority, etc. But he was also quick to display his physical attraction toward a couple of pretty young women who were also in the quartet. He even seemed to think we'd all be interested in knowing that his wife looked good naked...a true professional.

Once, when we were working on the Ravel quartet, he stopped us and announced, "This section should sound like lesbians...can we make it sound like lesbians?" I was appalled; but at the same time I had to laugh my ass off, because the notion was so ridiculous.

Unfortunately, this guy's mommy had all the money to keep the group going. My eye stopped twitching not too long after I stopped working with them.