Divorced/separated DUers: is it bad to feel good about it?

Divorce is supposed to be one of life's biggest stressors. It is supposed to be a time of pain and misery and everything else bad. But why is it that I don't feel any of those things? Of course, I am the one who wanted the divorce, but I have felt no pain or anything remotely resembling a negative feeling ever since I spoke the D word.

Am I being inhuman? Am I subhuman? I mean, I wanted the marriage to last, but it didn't and now I moved on with life, having learned who I am and what I want in a relationship. Why should I feel miserable about that?

I felt great about the "big D" when I asked for it, and later on, it really hit me when ex was moving his stuff out of the house. It may never make you feel sad and that is okay too.

Now you know what you DON'T want in a relationship so go forth and get yourself a good partner when s/he comes along.

And you SHOULDN'T feel miserable about it.

You obviously knew it was over, and you're fine with it.

And I think that's pretty cool.

When I got divorced, I wasn't even the one who initiated it. In the beginning it sucked jagged rocks. After I got a little perspective, it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me.

Good luck, have fun, stay safe, and take things slow once you officially have your freedom. :hi:

I have kids though, so... it's less easy for me to feel good about it.

Had a bad 6 months, then I was done. All I needed. Now I am over it totally, and can't believe why I waited so long.

We went back to just being friends. We had been separated for a little over a year.

If you're miserable IN the relationship, there's nothing wrong with being happy about being OUT of it.

That is how I felt about it....

really in love or that committed to begin with? :shrug:

given to me on the occasion of my finalization by an eccentric jeweler the boys and I visited regularly. It says:

100%
Divorced.

I was recently divorced. My ex-husband ruined my finances.

He lost our beloved indoor cat by letting her outside at the apartment that he rented when he moved out (and then he didn't even bother to tell me or put up a half-hearted effort to even search for my beloved Cinder. :cry:
(He took two cats and I kept one cat and the fish and my horse. I just couldn't afford three cats and the horse.) :(

He was financially irresponsible and ended up being mean too. I found out that he'd cleaned out his IRAs without telling me and thus never paid the taxes owed on the money. He moved out and took my computer and all of the the TVS and electronics except one very old TV, a VCR and a am-fm-cd clock radio. And then he turned around and sued ME for EVERYTHING I had (the house, my cars, all my retirement accounts and my horse) when we'd already met with a lawyer to do an uncontested divorce that I was paying for.
:grr:
I spent over a year in financially and legal hell. It's going to take me years to recover, both financially and emotionally. It cost me more than $20,000 to get rid of him forever.

One goes into a marriage wanting it to last but if things don't work out, then move on with your life. I should have divorced a long time ago but I was an idiot.

Good luck! :hug:

Everyone handles stress and traumas differently. Accept where ever you're at and know that it passes with time.

But, I honestly felt relieved fairly quickly. It was a weight that was lifted off of my shoulders because our marriage went downhill pretty fast right after we said, "I do."

I wasn't really surprised, and kind of knew it was coming sooner or later, though. So, I probably was mentally prepared a bit, and was literally out dating within a week.

Sorry to hear about your divorce, though.