Notice somethin' about pic threads?

Women frequently compliment other women, like, "Girl, you are GORgeous!"

But you almost never see a guy do that with another guy.

:shrug:

there are not words to describe how hard I just laughed.

:rofl:

Er, I think. Maybe not. I dunno. :P

its less of a stigma for women

We're scared to death of it, even us progressive types. And I'm not sure why. :shrug:

gay men are stigmatized much more than women (i think its because we value masculinity more, and any fall from masculinity is consider a bigger problem).

I guess it goes back to the hunter-gatherer thing. How can we kill mastodons and stuff when we're busy picking out new drapes?

:D

that i think is closer to the issue

What if we want you to maintain power over us?

:evilgrin:









I'm not really contributing much to this discussion, am I?

and Part B is that in general women are more self-conscious about how they look, and other women know this and want to help assuage those feelings of self-deprecation.

A. Men are homophobes.
B. Women are vain.

;)

:spank:

:rofl:

:P

:lightbulb:

I hadn't considered that. Thanks. :hi:

:D

It's a pet peeve of mine, how many BEAUTIFUL women don't think they are attractive at all... because we are fed images all our lives of so-called "beautiful" women who all look the same. Tall, skinny, long legs, big boobs, etc... i think racial diversity is increasing in the media (TV, womens' magazines, etc), but body-type diversity is still zippo. Very sad what it does to the psyches of women (and little girls!) :(

Last night, AspieGrrl posted in that pic thread and prefaced it with "I'm not very attractive, but..." Meanwhile, I'm looking at the dents in my desk made by my chin. The girl is GORgeous.

So I wonder — do women say things like that because they're programmed for modesty (because immodesty is "sluttish" or something, maybe?) or because they're told over and over and over that if they don't fit into an extremely narrow definition of beauty they belong in the reject bin? And that that definition extends beyond the physical, so that if someone isn't also accepted by the A Crowd for whatever reason, it's because they aren't "good enough" and that includes their appearance?

Then, when there is a bit of a breakthrough, such as that lingerie campaign (Playtex? I forget) featuring "real" women, it's a flash in the darkness while we're bombarded 100x with messages about eating this cholesterol burger and driving this sexy car and drinking this beer that'll make us irresistible.

Some society we've got here, huh?

with what you wrote. Doesn't seem like an either/or case -- everything you wrote probably plays a part in the issue. You're right that women are told not to "toot their own horn," as it were... (and i think this is a HUGE issue, because then it flows right into girls not speaking up in class, lack of confidence in educational settings, being "bad" at math and science, etc etc). At the same time there's this bombardment of imagery that is processed in some way (even unconsciously) and makes girls feel "not good enough." Because, let's face it, most of those images are airbrushed to the point of unrecognizability (is that a word???)... but they continue to sell magazines, beverages, lingerie, whatever else. As long as the companies are raking in the $$$ i can't see anything changing in a big way... yecgh.


On a brighter note though, this conversation with you has just reaffirmed my absolute LOVE for lefty men. :loveya: :hug:

I don't understand why Big Bidness doesn't do like Playtex (or whoever that is) and market to the majority instead of trying to get them to conform to the minority. That just doesn't seem a practical business model to me, but they've been using it for decades and I guess they're afraid to attempt change.

It's not limited to advertising, either. I was just thinking of "That '70s Show" and how the big girl (can't recall her name) was also made out to be stupid and sluttish. And that kind of thing probably shows up on teevee and in movies and whatnot many times every day. (They do get the guys a lot that way, too. Look at Al Bundy and Peter Griffin. But then, y'notice they also have some "hero" status? They're "everyman," but it seems there is no "everywoman.")

It just makes the majority want to conform to the minority more and more, and since they're never going to do it successfully, they continue to look for more and more products to buy in their quest. It gives the companies a market that lasts forever.

I've finally gotten to the point where I sort of think I'm hot.

...the people in my circle of friends lining up to sleep with me helps. :P

BTW,I saw your "windows" pics last week and I have to say "Girl, you are GORgeous!":)

i dont think thats really me. its the photographers talen

Then there's saying it to his face.

I don't have a problem with the former. Like, if a girlfriend shows me a photo of a guy who makes her all squinchy, I'm liable to say something like, "Yeah, I can see why. He's hot."

But if I posted, say, "You have beautiful eyes, Retro"... well, you can imagine what might happen. :scared:

IRL, at least I can say "Nice shirt" or somethin' to a guy. That's not much, but it's about as close as us heterotestosteronies care to get.

'course, there's always locker-room banter, like, "Man, if I had your cock, I'd throw mine away."

:)

I feel that there is nothing 'gay' (as if that was a bad thing) about it.
I can recognize when a guy is handsome.
When I was younger I probably wouldn't have said anything because I was more insecure.
Guys can be real assholes to other guys.
I believe that is starting to change thank god.

:hi:

Okay, I've cut back on the flirting recently. I admit, I haven't been in much of a flirting mood in a while. I'm a slacker. :P

Pick it up, dude. My ego depends on you. :(

But I've never said to one of them, "Girl, you are GORgeous!"

:shrug:

i could care less -- but i can certainly figure out why.

(if they're friendly to each other that is), but how often do you hear this from men? Pretty rare.

:hi:

We just don't give each other our props... B-)

:hi:

not always for sure

but if i know them and why not?

:shrug: