Music for the War on Christmas

Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear

(to be sung to "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland")

Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/xmastunes.asp
FREE DOWNLOADS - my favorite Christmas music!

:rofl:

Thanks for the laugh.

Grahbe Yahbalz

(Parody of Deck the Halls)


Grab your balls like Michael Jackson
fa la la la la la la la la la
Add some pelvic thrusting action
fa la la la la la la la la la
Don we now our leather jackets
fa la la la la la la la la la
Pick that crowbar up and whack it
fa la la la la la la la la la

Rip your shirt off
Show some nipple
fa la la la la la la la la la
Squeeze you buns
like Mr. Whipple
fa la la la la la la la la la
You�ll always get a big reaction
fa la la la la la la la la la
If you grab your balls like Michael Jackson
fa la la la la la la la la la

Merry Christmas Bubbles

Grab your balls like Michael Jackson
fa la la la la la la la la la

Thank you!


:rofl:

Is this it?
http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/F/fearlyrics/fearfuckchristmaslyrics.htm

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/xmastunes.asp?Var=xqygf&Page=3

O Little Town of Bethlehem to the tune of House of the Rising Sun. :rofl:

Yes, friends . . . Pass the plate around, friends . . . Join us, friends . . .

There's an ugly little weasel 'bout three-foot nine
Face puffed up from cryin' 'n lyin'
'Cause her sweet little hubby's
Suckin' prong part time
(In the name of The Lord)

Get a clue, little shrew
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Jesus thinks you're a jerk
Would he really choose Tammy to do His Work? Unh-unh

Hallelujah!
(Yes, friends . . . )

Robertson says that he's The One
Oh he sure is, if Armageddon
Is your idea of family fun,
An' he's got some planned for you!
(Now, tell me that ain't true)

Give me that old time religion!

Now, what if Jimbo's slightly gay,
Will Pat let Jimbo get away?
Everything we've heard him say
Indicates that Jim must pay,
(And it just might hurt a bit) Just a bit!
But keep that money rollin' in,
'Cause Pat and naughty Jimbo
Can't get enough of it (let's dance!)

Perhaps it's their idea
Of an Affirmative Action Plan
To give White Trash a 'special break';
Well, they took those Jeezo-bucks and ran
To the bank! To the bank! To the bank! To the bank!
And every night we can hear them thank
Their Buddy, up above
For sending down his love
(While you all smell the glove)

Henry Cisneros, ladies and gentlemen!

Jim and Pat should take a pole
(Right up each saintly glory-hole),
With tar and feathers too --
Just like they'd love to do to you

('Cause they think you are bad --
Yes, they do!
And they are very mad)

'Cause some folks don't want prayer in school!

(We'd need an ark to survive the drool
Of Micro-publicans, raised on hate,
And 'Jimbo-Jumbo' when they graduate)

Convinced they are 'The Chosen Ones' --
And all their parents carry guns,
(Hey, look! Godzilla!)
And hold them cards in the N.R.A.
(Ah, hellfire, Melvin, hey hee!)
(With their fingers on the trigger
("It's hot.")
When they kneel and pray)
("I mean that . . . ")

With a Ku-Klux muu-muu
In the back of the truck,
If you ain't Born Again,
They wanna mess you up, screamin':
"No abortion, no-siree!"
"Life's too precious, can't you see!"
(What's that hangin' from a neighbor's tree?
Why, it looks like 'colored folks' to me --
Would THEY do THAT . . .
They've been doin' it for years!
Seriously?)

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the dynamic Eric Buxton

Imagine if you will,
A multi-millionaire TV Evangelist,
Saved from Korean Combat duty by his father, a U.S. Senator

Studied law --
But is not qualified to practice it

Father of a "love child"
Who, in adulthood, hosts the remnants
Of papa's religious propaganda program

Claims not to be a "Faith Healer,"
But has, in the past,
Dealt sternly with everything from hemorrhoids to hurricanes

Involved with funding for an 'undeclared war' in Central America
Claiming Ronald Reagan and Oliver North as close friends

Involved in suspicous 'tax-avoidance schemes',
(Under investigation for 16 months by the I.R.S.)

Claims to be a MAN OF GOD;
Currently seeking the United States Presidency,
Hoping we will all follow him into --
The Twilight Zone

But, hey! What if Pat gets in the White House,
(No fuckin' way, Ike,
You know what I mean)
The rights of 'certain people' disappear
Mysteriously?

Now, wouldn't that sort of qualify
As an American Tragedy?
(Especially if they cover it up, sayin'
"Jesus told it to me!")
(I mean vapor tight, we're like this, okay?
I mean that)
I hope we never see that day,
(I mean that. Right here. It's hot. It's hot.)
In The Land of The Free --
Or someday will we?
(92?)
Will we?
(96?)

And if you don't know by now,
The truth of what I'm tellin' you,
Then, surely I have failed somehow --
Surely I have failed somehow
Surely I have failed somehow

And Jesus will think I'm a jerk, just like you --
If you let those TV Preachers
Make a monkey out of you!

I said:
"Jesus will think you're a jerk"
And it would be true!

There's an old rugged cross
In the land of the Stainless Maiden --
It's just burnin' on the lawn
But this person looks like Tom Braden!

Jim and Tammy!
Oh, baby!
You gotta go!
You really got to go!
Jim and Tammy got to go

FZ:

:)

Osama Got Run Over By A Reindeer


(Parody of Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy)


Osama got run over by a reindeer
Right outside his cave on Christmas Eve
Some folks say there’s no such thing as Santa
But now even the Taliban believe

Osama thought we'd never find him
But even little children know
Santa knows who’s been real naughty
In those hard Afgani mountains capped with snow

Al-quiada found him Christmas morning
Face down on that mountain pass
There were hoof marks on his turban
And a broken reindeer antler up his oh-ho-ho-ho-ho

Osama got run over by a reindeer
Being near his cave door on christmas eve
You can say theres no such thing as karma
But if you saw those hoof marks you'd believe

Sing it

Osama got run over by a reindeer
Now he's not around on Christmas day
He was hopin he'd be metting Allah
The only thing he met was Santa's sleigh

Merry Christmas

Ooh, that's gotta hurt!

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/xmastunes.asp?Var=xqygf&Page=3

What's Christmas without Osama being run over?

Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!


(Parody of Let it Snow)


Oh, the weather outside was whitening
‘Til the dog did something frightening
He’s got no other place to go
Yellow snow, yellow snow, yellow snow

And he doesn’t show signs of stopping
As he sniffs around his dropping
You see him everywhere you go
In the snow, yellow snow, yellow snow

When he finally goes outside
He’ll be frolicking ‘round in the storm
He’ll be marking our yard with pride
You can tell by the steam that it’s warm

When the snow begins it’s thawing
It reveals those puppy drawings
He’s a frisky little pooch van Gogh
Yellow snow, yellow snow, yellow snow

Come here, Yeller. Come on boy. Good doggie.

Oh, not on Frosty.

He’ll be marking our yard with pride
You can tell by the steam that it’s warm

Well, he’s happy and his tail starts waggin’
But the snowman’s left side is saggin’
There’s a little puddle right below
Yellow snow, yellow snow, yellow snow
Yellow snow, yellow snow

Yellow snow
Little patches of yellow snow
Yellow snow
Little patches of where Fido goes

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/xmastunes.asp?Var=xqygf&Page=4

Down at the KMart store.

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/xmastunes.asp?Var=xqygf&Page=3