just cleaned out the abattoir - Democratic Underground

datasuspect

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Sat Nov-24-07 01:44 PM
Original message

just cleaned out the abattoir

put fresh sulfuric acid in the tubs and oiled the chainsaws.

a very productive saturday. now i'm gonna put on my butcher's apron and watch the hallmark channel.

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XemaSab

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Sat Nov-24-07 01:51 PM
Response to Original message

1. I find chest waders provide better coverage.

YMMV.

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Oeditpus Rex

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Sat Nov-24-07 02:57 PM
Response to Original message

2. 'Good morning, gentlemen. This is a 12-story block

combining classical neo-Georgian features with all the advantages of modern design. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last 20 feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these large contai..."

"Excuse me."

"Hmm?"

"Uh, did you say 'knives'?"

"Uh, rotating knives, yes."

"Are you, uh, proposing to slaughter our tenants?"

"Does that not fit in with your plans?"

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quip

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Sat Nov-24-07 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #2

4. Not really. We asked for a simple block of flats.

"Oh. I hadn't fully divined your attitude towards the tenants. You see I mainly design slaughter houses."

"Ahh."

"Pity."

:hi:

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Oeditpus Rex

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Sat Nov-24-07 03:59 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. 'Yes, well, that's the sort of blinkered, philistine pig ignorance

I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist! YOU EXCREMENT! You whining, hypocritical toadies, with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding Masonic secret handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards! Well, I wouldn't become a Freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking knees and begged me!"

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quip

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Sun Nov-25-07 12:30 AM
Response to Reply #5

6. We're sorry you feel that way but we did want a block of flats, nice though the abattoir is.

:hi:

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leeroysphitz

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Sat Nov-24-07 03:37 PM
Response to Original message

3. It puts the lotion in the basket... nt

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Tuesday Afternoon

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Sun Nov-25-07 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #3

7. or else it gets the hose again --

something like that :scared: :rofl:

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Fri May 10th 2024, 04:11 AM
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