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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 03:53 PM
Original message
Post only bad advice, Part II.
A while back, MrScorpio started a thread in which people posted only bad advice. Some examples included sage pearls of wisdom like, "Talk back to cops," and "Don't use spell check."

My thoughts so far: "Turn signals are for wimps."
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Tase me, bro.
Tase me long and hard...
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. Vote Republican
always bad advice.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
3. You can't get pregnant if you're on top. nt
Edited on Thu Nov-29-07 03:57 PM by LeftyMom
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Liberal Veteran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
4. When stuck in the snow, put the pedal to the floor.
Also, if your boss interrupts you in the middle of web-surfing, tell him to get bent.
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ohiosmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
5. Save links to your favorite porn sites on your office computer.
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. Its OK to look at porn in the office, if its during your lunch hour
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Liberal Veteran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. Use an easy to remember password for all your accounts (suggestion: "password")
:D
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Stop giving out my password!
:grr:
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
7. Share tissues.
It saves trees!
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
8. Mothers Day cards are a waste of money.
Edited on Thu Nov-29-07 04:10 PM by BlueIris
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:12 PM
Response to Original message
10. raw chicken is good for you
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:14 PM
Response to Original message
11. next time someone asks please reply with "Yes, you do look fat"
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:14 PM
Response to Original message
12. Bring home sushi.
Two-day-old sushi makes a tasty midnight snack.
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qwertyMike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:24 PM
Response to Original message
14. Sure you/re OK to drive (Hic)
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:25 PM
Response to Original message
15. Use Britney Spears as a role model.
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:26 PM
Response to Original message
16. ALways make sure you have PLENTY of distractions
while driving-- cell phones, make-up etc....
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Spacemom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:27 PM
Response to Original message
17. Always fry bacon
in the nude. :evilgrin:
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:28 PM
Response to Original message
18. Married guys are teh hawt
:D
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lost-in-nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
19. Check the level
of gas in your lawnmower/snowblower etc with a lighter



lost
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
20. If you have to take a piss outside
only do it on an electric fence.

dg
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Phentex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
21. You don't need a plumber for that.
:)
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
22. socks are pointless really
They're a waste of money and drawer space, throw that trash out.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. Hang on to those Traci Lords videos. They'll be worth something someday.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
24. The wealthiest zipcodes are filled with the nicest citizens.
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Lil Missy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:41 PM
Response to Original message
25. Always take a loaded gun to the bar if you're going to get shitfaced, in case you get into a fight.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
26. eat yellow snow
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
27. Lisa got lionesspriyanka preggers! And vice versa! Spread the word.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:46 PM
Response to Reply #27
31. That's not advice. That's news.
:P
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. "Spread the word" is the advice. If no one spreads the news, how will everyone know?
;)
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distantearlywarning Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:44 PM
Response to Original message
28. It's perfectly fine to have one last cigarette in bed before you fall asleep!
n/t
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:45 PM
Response to Original message
29. Get exotic animals as house pets.
Who wants a boring pet these days?
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SoxFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:46 PM
Response to Original message
30. Two words: pork sushi
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
32. Vote Republican eom
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:52 PM
Response to Original message
33. Prenuptial agreements kill love.
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mitchum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
35. Heroin contains lots of vitamins
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:57 PM
Response to Original message
36. You should eat fast food for every meal
Wash it down with a super-size Jolt.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
37. Mixing alcohol with sleeping pills will ensure you don't get a hangover
nt
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
38. The best doctors are all Republicans.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:09 PM
Response to Original message
39. Who needs to check a potential hire's rap sheet? That's just rude.
Come on, we've all committed at least one felony. Big deal.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:16 PM
Response to Original message
40. Take all the sick days you want.
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Merrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:16 PM
Response to Original message
41. Always mimick your potential future boss in job interviews
exaggerate all of his/her mannerisms and tone of voice, then say, "That's what you sound like"
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:22 PM
Response to Original message
42. Just because he has five ex-spouses doesn't make him a bad date.
Even if they all hate him and he admits it five minutes into the meal.
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Merrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
43. Want to lose weight? Eat a tapeworm
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Merrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
44. When arguing with your spouse, consult your kids' opinion on who they think is right
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
45. Ignore seat belts; they rumple clothing.
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Merrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:28 PM
Response to Original message
46. Deviant sexual urges concerning you? Cure them by becoming a priest
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:30 PM
Response to Original message
47. Worried about STDs? Drink lots of alcohol—it contains magic "anti-herpes" enzymes.
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:10 PM
Response to Reply #47
55. I can't breathe
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: these are making me cry :rofl:
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:33 PM
Response to Original message
48. Crash weddings.
The newly-married LOVE surprises.
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Merrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:35 PM
Response to Original message
49. When the metal detector beeps you at the airport...
jokingly tell the security guy that it must be the bomb you have shoved up your ass
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
50. Mumble incoherently to yourself in crowded elevators.
It's a great way to meet people.
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
51. Trendiest place for vacation this year
is Anbar Province, Iraq. I hear things are really booming there.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
52. Feel free to criticize your in-laws in front of your spouse/siblings.
They like it—let's 'em know you're paying attention.
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BlackVelvet04 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
53. Always run with scissors in your hand. n/t
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
54. If someone offers you free drugs, consider yourself lucky and enjoy!
The best things in life are free, after all. A bunch of free white pills in a little plastic baggy at no cost to you? Huzzah!
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Dukkha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
56. Start a thread in GD proclaiming your love for Hillary
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
57. Neighbors make the best mechanics.
Whether or not they have actual training. They're convenient—right next door and everything.
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DainBramaged Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
58. Let your friends borrow your car and gas card
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
59. If a Republican likes you, it's probably for your intelligence.
Trust that for sure.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 08:20 PM
Response to Original message
60. For your next job, pretend to know Mandarin Chinese.
If they don't call you on it during the interview, you're good.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
61. Wild mushrooms of unknown classification picked randomly on camping trips are the tastiest.
Picking and eating them on the spot is one of the most exciting experiences ever.
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Flaxbee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
62. Yellow snow = someone spilled lemonade and it's perfectly
good to eat.
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
63. Cry over spilt milk.
Count your chickens before they hatch.
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NoPasaran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 08:58 PM
Response to Original message
64. Cops love to race
It keeps their driving skills sharp.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
65. Do-it-yourself divorce kits really work!
Best way to go, really.
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Zornhau Donating Member (413 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 09:05 PM
Response to Original message
66. If someone swings a sword at you, block w/ your hand
re: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7185721&mesg_id=7185721
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