How To Tell If You’re Watching A Bad Nicolas Cage Movie

In any given year 300 or so movies will be released into theaters. And on average, roughly 47 of them will star Nicolas Cage. With so many kooky, Cage-alicious movies to choose from it can be hard to tell which are worth your time and which would be best viewed on TNT, muted, and in the background while you work on your computer, many, many years after its release. With a new Nicolas Cage movie due out next week (Ghost Rider), I figured the time was right to release this handy guide to determine the quality of Nic Cage’s movies.

So, if you’re watching a Nicolas Cage movie or considering watching a Nicolas Cage movie, and can’t quite decide if it’s bad or not, these 21 sure-fire red flags will make your decision for you (unless you’re watching The Wicker Man. Then you don’t need red flags, because it just sucks.)

(Ed. Note: I do like Nicolas Cage and his movies. I just don’t like some of them. Please bare that in mind.)

If Nic’s hair is longer than four inches, you are watching a bad Nicolas Cage movie.

If Nic is mumbling his dialogue in an accent other than his own, you are probably watching a bad Nicolas Cage movie.

If you turn on a Nicolas Cage movie and you notice Rosie Perez’s name is in the credits, you should probably watch something else. Otherwise you’re just gonna sit through a bad Nicolas Cage movie.

If Nicolas Cage is playing a musical instrument of some kind, let’s say a Mandolin for example, then you are watching a WAY bad Nicolas Cage movie.

If at any point during the movie you hear this phrase: “Put the bunny down”, you are watching a bad Nicolas Cage movie. Don’t be fooled, this isn’t meant to be hip, ironic or in on the joke of its own

The Rest

The only criteria you need: is Nicholas Cage in the movie?

:evilgrin:

:hi:

There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.

Lots of crapola since then, though.

:shrug:

where the women have weapons as legs

Has anybody seen it?


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452743/


Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462322/trailers-screenplay-E31837-314

a lot of people liked it I guess, but I felt like I lost two hours and theater admission. There wasn't much to either of the stories.. no one's side to take, nothing to hope for.

Imdb says the movie is over 3 hours or is the cut version 2 hours?

:puke:

I don't remember if I knew how long we were at the theater, maybe the three hours wasted instead of two was part of what made me mad.

It wasn't boring to watch.. I mean if you're used to following fight scenes it might not seem like such a waste. My husband liked it but he's always watched fight movies.
I agreed to go to it because I'd get to see zombies (I LOVE zombies) but they weren't even real zombies :(

It's a pretty fun pair of movies. Not cinematic genius by any stretch, but quite entertaining.

The movies will be at least as sucktacular as "From Dusk Til Dawn".

at least it has a couple of redeeming qualities.

:shrug:

:thumbsup:

The Ass says:

"I’m pretty sure that we can all agree Nic Cage is still a better actor than actors like Keanu Reeves. I mean at least Cage can do accents and actually come off as an ass-kicker. I’m not saying he’s a Jim Carrey or a Johnny Depp however. Just that he’s not the worst of the worst."

Yeah, just second to the worst of the worst.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: