How kinky are you?

On a scale of 1 to 10:

1 - Puritanical. Missionary-style only. For baby-makin’ only.

2 – Still pretty vanilla. These folks may know more than one position, but only on very special occasions, and they’re definitely keeping their mouths shut, if you know what I mean.

3 – less inhibited. Foreplay enters into the mix. And they aren’t afraid to do it with the lights on!

4 - “Nooners” and other sexual spontaneity emerge. Victoria’s Secret shoppers, but nothing crotchless. Maybe indulge in the “lusty farmhand” game, or other benign role-play.

5 - “willing to experiment.” Nothing too outlandish – perhaps open to takin’ the A-train, light spanking, even bedpost-tying. But definitely not every time.

6 – a little bit more adventurous. This crowd may own the rudiments of kink paraphernalia (handcuffs, various vibratory appliances). Sex resulting in only a single orgasm isn’t worth waking up for.

7 – These folks have moved beyond the Kama Sutra. In their closet is a lockbox full of stuff they’d never want the kids to find. Very little is off-limits, but they don’t leave marks. Often.

8 – These people’s bedrooms may inexplicably contain examining tables or those bungee-swing things. They buy KY by the gallon over the internet, and may or may not own a leather hood with a zippered mouth.

9 – we’re getting pretty well perverted, now. This implies intimate familiarity with the various members of the “Sanchez” family. “Handball” is more than a game played in the gym. Safe words are for pussies.

10 – Teach me something new…

i couldnt understand the words after 5 so i guess thats it

the degree of kink only follows if it gels with the romance.

I'm still young, with no specific future plans for maturity.

:evilgrin:

not kinky enought to consider Bush "cuddly". (shudder)

not psychotic.

In my single days I was getting close to a 9.

I come in at #9. The "safe words are for pussies" one got me.

I feel like such a freak now. Thanks. :D

Darth Velma

Me and DP are gonna have to fight over you... if he's man enough to show his face at the next Maple View Ice Cream gathering!

And I haven't tried paraphern wax, either. :D

I wanna be loved by you
By you and nobody else but you
Something something something something something
Something something
Boo-boo-be-doo

No, not you Mr Shortbus.......(no offense - I'm just not yet at the "teach me something new" end of the scale)

at lest! hehehe:evilgrin:

I'd try anything that didn't involve restraints.

"Where you planning on stuffing THAT?"

'A jar of cherries? Sure'

"Oh, OK, I'm game...."

no "man-hands" for BiggJawn.

;-)

and you'd be begging to try being tied up with a silk stocking!And other things!

I have teeny hands. And I know exactly where to put them. ;-) Someone tell me how to post a pic off my hard drive and I'll prove it.

-V-

hehehehehehe! :evilgrin:

get rough with you woman.

hehehe!

You two going at it?

you just raised my score two points!!!

I'll volunteer to referee!

:-)

a threat or a turn-on.

Go on. Go on.

off the gals from my guys and a turn-on for the guys!

I've got some latent hostility to work off about everyone voting for you as the hottest woman on the board instead of me. ;-)

;-)

it's MY thread! And I say we let it devolve into an orgiastic free for all of intermingled pleasure and pain!

:eyes:

keeping the chain nice and cold before you wrap it around the willing?

Zizzer

:evilgrin:

link to that pic of the goat sex guy, are you?!?

:P

I just have a picture of my hands compared to the average size hands of an NBA player. Thought I'd give him a little thrill. ;-)

You must be a slashdotter if you're familiar with that wonderful net nugget of joy. :toast:

Of course, I don't think the goat sex guy got that way by favoring small hands, anyway...

once it's on your website just post its URL and it pops up automatically UNLESS your website is angelfire or other free sites that don't allow it.

If you're absolute stuck, email it to me and I'll post it. :evilgrin:

Um, I mean, brown-noser! No, um... suck-up? Wait... wait! The right phrase will come to me.

:evilgrin:

here are smaller than mine! :7 I buy gloves in the children's department. :D

you aren't the only one buying gloves in the kiddie section. (Which is actually kinda cool since they don't usually make Sponge Bob gloves in adult sizes.) :D

It does lend one a "Benny and Joon" air to have an item or two of kid's clothing. B-)

they always have better stuff in the kids section. Lots of bright primary colors and rainbow stripes. :-)

abstinent

otherwise, I'd be a solid 7

fantasy life has to count, or I'd be woefully underqualified to host this thread.

:7

But you'd never get me to admit that here.

I more used to this kinda banter on some of the other email lists that I'm part of.

Anywho, I'd probably rate a 9 or 10

Also related topic, last I checked my purity test score was 26% or something.

whats that? hehehehe!

and I personally have no shame in admitting to being at least an 8-going-on 9. I lose track of the "Sanchez's," though. ;-)

edited to add: despite my self-classification between 8 and 9, this should by no means be taken to indicate that I've somehow forgotten how to do 3 through 7. Of course, I'm constitutionally incapable of 1 and 2, but there's no shame in being somewhat less adventurous, either.

Oh well, in my fantasy life, I'm a ten! :evilgrin:

:evilgrin:

Edit spelling

lessons or lesions? ;-)

-V-

Ouch!

In the fantasy world, I RULE!

About a 6.5. And I own tthree pairs of handcuffs and by rope in 1000 feet bundles. :evil:


DEMMAN

Hello!

lesions? :silly:

:evilgrin:

???

Could that be why I rated a five?

I'm probably between a five or six. Say, have you ever tried one of those online purity tests?
Love,
Yaoi Huntress Earth

I'll be more than happy to fail it.

;-)

if your interested there's a whole f load of them here:
http://www.armory.com/tests/

I prefer the "500 Point Omnisexual Purity Test" myself

though the "The 100 point purity test for non-virgins" is a nice quicky

...just took the latter one: 16.0% sexually pure (84.0% sexually corrupt) with a Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) of 57%

I usually take the virgin one about every year just to see how far I've fallen as I get older. 46% pure.
Love,
Yaoi Huntress Earth

My drug purity test score actually made me feel good about my habit(s)! I'm 55.2% drug pure (only 44.8% drug corrupt!), and get this - my weirdness factor is a measly 38%!

<singing> Someone said I'm normal! Someone said I'm normal!

and on edit: sadly, my masturbation purity test scores are less glowing. :(

I'm almost beyond "freak"

I'd say anything that involves bondage, slapping or hitting, or bungee swinging is definately out.

Where does doing it in the shower fall?

I know, pretty boring, huh? :eyes:

Linda

.....definitely NOT 10...that's the salad tosser zone! :evilgrin:

Especially chilled!

LOL!!!

Er, I'm middle of the pack; depending on mood from 5-7...

I need a cold shower after this thread. :D

pervert under every baseball cap, eh GiE?

:thumbsup:

And why is it that I feel uncomfortable typing "thumbsup" on this thread?

With someone I trust intimately, I can be more, um, expressive. :7

And, yeah, given the "Sanchez Family" remark, any kind of finger gesture is oooky...:-)

Although I've never rode down the Hershey highway....

And lucky enough to be married to someone with the same ideas.

Nuff said

probably 7.5 or so. That is if I had a partner. :P

After that, any higher degree of kink would depend on my trust in that person and the feelings they aroused in me.

edit: clarification

the Astro-glide is a friend of mine!

:hi: Hi Supe!

Like I'm going to tell you guys.

Maybe 7. I don't think we leave marks. Often.

My spouse would be a 4. So we compromise at 5.

I'm a total prude, apparently.

Cat

3 is a great starting place for a young person. Leaves you lots of time to kink up as you age. ;-)

I really am a lousy gambler! x(

Did the Pentagon create a market for betting on my Lounge thread? How do I get in on the action? Sounds like there's money to be made for a good judge of kinkage...

I can hang with some of it. I shop at Victoria's Secret ALL the time (all my underwear is from there), I've never had a "nooner", but I wouldn't be averse to the idea if with the right person. The role playing--I mean, in fantasies, yes, but I might start laughing right out loud if I tried it in real life. I don't know though, because I've never tried it! So...does that make me a 4?

Cat

I win, I win! :bounce:

Really? Never a nooner? I've had them, but only with one person I was dating seriously. Living close to the office has advantages! }(

you mean you've never just done it in an empty bathroom?

What a sheltered life.

So, I go "off campus" for those activities.

"in a van, down by the river" is racing through my head...

When I lived in San Antonio, I was, by conservative estimate, 10 minutes from my front door.

It wasn't planned, but it worked out nicely a few times. :7

you're supposed to wait until the other people clear out?

What a drag!

we believe in good manners. :D

I concluded early on in this thread (see post #15) that fantasy must count as well as personal experience. You're only as kinky as you WANT to be!

Oh, and again, :thumbsup: for a solid "4."

I'm not a prude! I'm not a prude! *happy dance* :)

Cat

Now, bend over! :spank:

That wasn't part of #4!!

Cat

...keep working towards #5! :P

the rest of us want to watch!

:P

Baby steps...baby steps...LOL!!!

Think "backdoor." Or, to be more direct, anal. #5 is, obviously, not everyone's cup of tea.

I remember #5...she's gonna have so much fun working her way through stage 5.

Her and some very lucky dude...

Alot of women react negatively to #5. Alot of guys, too, judging from a friend of mine who's thus far had zero luck in getting her hubby to take the chocolate plunge. But when it all comes together properly... it's more fun than #4!

I agree that when it's done right, it can be pretty enjoyable. The do make things that make it easier-even a lube that has a little bit of a numbing effect.

Right now, I'd take almost any action I could get-my sex life is sadder than our current president as a whole.

the anal newbie's best friend! Also useful for the veteran in, um, "expanding horizons."

BTW - welcome to DU, sheet22! :hi:

And no, the Lounge isn't always like this. They keep me caged, mostly.

Thanks for the welcome. Who better to appreciate a liberal perv than another liberal perv?:toast:

Think "exit only". :)

Cat

don't rule it out. There's every possibility you'll change your mind later.

Free advice though, don't ever do it with a guy who isn't willing to have it done to him. If they've never had anything up there they probably aren't going to be as sensitive about doing it to you.

Okay, I CANNOT BELIEVE I'm even talking about this but...tried it one time. The worst pain I've ever experienced (and YES, we used lube, and YES, he was ultra-careful and ultra-slow). I mean, I don't even like big poo, you know?

*cringing with embarassment*

Part of the problem was that I COULD NOT relax. Which I can't even do for a regular pelvic exam with my gyn, so I'm probably not a good candidate for anal sex.

Now that I've shared more than anyone could possibly want to know!

Cat

and you did the right thing...if you aren't in the right place adn you aren't enjoying it then stop. If it hurts and you can't get through it by remembering to breathe then stop.

I'm just saying don't rule it out later on because of one experience. As you get older and more experienced and find someone who you trust and who you believe knows what they are doing, then relaxing may get easier.

I didn't decide to do it til recently and I'm in my 30s. Enjoy what you're doing now and if it happens eventually great and if not no big deal.

sorry you had a bad time with it once. :( And I wouldn't presume to pressure anyone to try anything. But if you are so compelled at a later date, please remember that warmup is key. You wouldn't go out and run a marathon without stretching your hamstrings first, would you? Same thing with the mystical backdoor.

And I hereby decree that no embarrassment is permitted in this thread!

You can go at your own speed and learn how to relax.

Despite what you see in some stores, they do come in sizes smaller than your forearm.

to learn how to feel pleasure from the many, MANY nerves in the area without discomfort.

There's always the option of having a glass of wine first, too.

Sadly, my wife is only about a 5.5. Of course, since she was a solid 2 when I met her a decade ago, I can honestly claim to be (gleefully) corrupting her :evilgrin:

On partner, mood, age and situation. Never below 3, haven't hit 10 yet, but peaked at 9 one long afternoon.

KY is for wimps.

Bear grease gives better traction.

seriously though...lube, we don't need to stinkin' lube. Suck it up and take it like a man.

that you need to tighten up a bit....

:evilgrin:

and I can produce a membership card to prove it.

I just wish I got more of it.:nopity:

"woohoo!" for my first 100-response thread as shortbus.

Now THAT'S kinky!

Ick...

cousin filthy!

:o

on edit: but forget the Sanchez family - if you got all the way up to #9 before you had to ask questions, you're my kinda woman! ;-)

because there are SO MANY MORE DUers whose structures of inhibition I simply must know. Hmmmm... wonder where voyeurism falls on the 10-point scale?

:kick:

I'm in, because I definitely read every post. And there are some of you I'd like to know better!

Er, not that *I* like watching - just asking. :7

Shall we convene the Loya Jurka for deliberations?

Convene away.

You wanna watch us convene? How perverted is that!

:o

...you are SICK!!!! :P

I am sick. Do we have a quorum?

Pornographic CSPAN!

....we have a quorum! :D

We're one tiny, tiny loya jurka.

Move to accept as read the minutes of the last meeting.

Just getting things moving along. :-)

there being two voting members in favor, the vote of the third present member becomes moot and the motion is passed. wow. that felt pretty damned republican to say that!

Then where were we? The first item of new business is the proper classification of voyeurism within the 10-point kink scale. The floor is now open to remarks from members. Who will be recognized?

In the context of the thread, voyeurism means reading everyone else's posts. Not strictly RL voyeurism. Agreed?

:-)

this is gonna raise the collective kinkiness quotient for DU by almost a whole point.

Agreed. Everyone who posted above gets an extra point. You might have to expand the scale to 11.

I think it is anyway.

:-)

I like it!

or, on edit, should we reduce the Puritans currently at level 1 to a nice frigid zero?

was at least a 5. Not that I was paying attention.

Just a theory. :shrug:

have me on "ignore."

:D

But since they are all over at FR anyway, who cares.

Since this august body is already assembled and conducting new business, can we take this opportunity to agree and codify that nipple clamps should be placed squarely in #7, as opposed to mixing in with the more benign "handcuffs" of #6?

the nipple clamps in question leave marks.

You must be a 10! I'm talking your standard, run-of-the-mill, Sears-Roebuck-type nipple clamps. Like Grandma used to make. Are you sure those aren't jumper cables you're playing with?

Well why didn't you say so!

no marks. At least no long-lasting marks. Does that make it 6 or 7? And if I issue a call for quorum now and GOP doesn't answer, will someone have to call another special session at a later date?

:-)

:thumbsup: to the kinky evilDUers!

Safe words are absolutely nescasary!

I know this thread is mostly in fun but I'm gonna step up onto my soap box and rant just a little bit.

For those who do not know much about or understand BDSM this is a very dangerouse mindset. It is absulutely not tollerated in the BDSM crowd and will get you shunned.

The corner stone of BDSM is Safe, Sane, Consensual. When you say no safe words, you are saying someone doesn't have the right or that you will ignore them when they say "No." This is rape. To support a lack of safe words is to support rape.

May I please put forth some resources some people may find enlightening and or entertaing depending on how you look at it.

Books:

Different loving
Screw the roses, give me the thorns

Orginizations:

NCSF (www.NCSFreedom.org)
Black Rose (www.BR.org)

Any and or all of the Eulenspiegel groups (use Google, it will correct my misspelling)

These resources are not fiction like the Soty of O or the Beauty books by Rice.

Zizzer

I thought I was the only one!

n/t

:hi:

Middle of the road 5 is a solid place to be. :thumbsup: No freetard 1s around here!

And that's all I am saying :evilgrin:

Unless the feminist fashion police get on my ass again, but I assume they are all avoiding this particular thread.

the majority of those who would be offended have had me on "ignore" for awhile now.

And we are talking shoes, not knives, right?

<gulp>

Damn straight, Fred, high heeled shoes!! Really high heels.

I've got to run & take a shower. Be right back!

those are hot. Enough to make a girl consider changing teams.

Hey, somebody gimme a ruling. Is getting hot over another girl's feet enough to push my score from 9 to 10?

Darth Velma

that's still in heavy-8 territory. But YOWZA! I could be inspired to aim for 10. This thread's gotten dangerous!

All you need in order to be really kinky, not to mention inspiring and life-altering, is a damn good pair of shoes. :evilgrin:

I'll have to try harder.

BTW, if you're really gonna duke it out over me with DarkPhenyx make sure someone gets pictures for me. And that you take your shirts off...and oil up...and...THUD

-V-

the pic I sent him from the wine bar? It's a good pic (if I may so so myself), although it fails to do the Mansonesque twinkle in his eye true justice. But if you're amenable, I think we'd much rather work out an alternate solution - I'm sure we're both lovers, not fighters. Nevermind his military background...

and I'm inclined to agree with you. He's cute as a speckled puppy in a little red wagon under a Christmas tree at Christmas. In a serial killer kind of way. ;-)

I'm easy, work it out amongst yourselves and let me know where to be and when and whether or not you need me to bring the toychest or you're providing your own.

-v-

How about mix and match on the toychests, though? We can swap! It'll be a bizarre bazaar!

and on edit: now back to Ramsey's picture...

what toy has gone in which body and use lots of anti-bacterial soap.

Cleanliness is next to godliness ya know.

-V-

make for a healthy and hygienic happy session! But let's keep the "godliness" out of it, can we? That's seldom any fun at all.

to get yourself better gods. Forget that boring ol' stright white dude in the sky. I myself prefer religions with a moral imperative to fuck your brains out as often as possible.

-V-

which in and of itself says nothing flattering about my sexuality. But you should see my Epicurean streak!

but are you allowed to post pics of that sort of thing on this board. ;-)

-V-

but I do want one of those bungee swings!

all that's really visible in the room when it's not in use is the big eye-bolt in yer ceiling...

I'll bet you could Ebay for one right now and get a fantastic price, and discrete delivery to your door!

;-)

Where is geniph :p

;-)

thanks ;)

I KNOW I saw it SOMEWHERE before, and I was pretty well fixated on this thread for awhile there...

...at least someone noticed. ;-)

Hey, I'm old, I need my vanity stroked occasionally!

better than fine from here, hon. Always been a sucker for a kick-ass-cool redhead.

..... definetly into crotchless territory here.

almost ten

.

Im a stranger in paradise.

with the outdoor sex, farm animals and all?

I'd say I was at least a 7, but move the examining table outdoors and I'd say a solid 8.

Company party a number of years ago, one of the managers got to reminiscing about farm life, especially the sheep.

But then again, the place is theoretically homophobic, but when I came out the comment was "your point is????"

Ah, the joys of being a tri-sexual

ordering a pizza.

Theres alot you can do with a pizza!

Details!

instead for ordering a pizza why not make you or your partner into a pizza! Just get your fav toppings and have the "crust" lay down and start making the pizza. Then eat it off!

warning: make sure they have no alergeys to the toppings picked!

I never thought of before. Thanks!

I told you before, Lady; I'm just not kinky enough to think of these things myself.

Thats why me and Short Bus are here for!

Sometimes I think I need to write a book!hehehee!

I'll pre-order.