Quick check in: If evil, omnipotent aliens showed up today and demanded we give them one state...

Okay, here's the scenario...

A huge flying saucer armada shows up in our skies one day, hovering their giant motherships over the skylines of all of America's great cities, and demanded that we hand one state in the union over to them so they can perform unspecified "experiments" on the residents there...

Which state would you choose to hand over to them and why?

They gave us GWB.

but Texas voted the fucker in as Gov.

Besides, there's that whole "Gawd dayum lookee how many inmates we killin now" part, too.

And Houston.

prolly a lot of ex-husbands. mine went there so he wouldn't have to pay child support. i couldn't get a lawyer to even take my case, so loathe were they to have anything to do with them there.

Daddy Bush was born within walking distance of where I am.

it's all about Texas with him.

You'll be saying it again, soon, I am sure. :evilgrin:

You beat me to it!

Oh, btw, George W. Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut.

Our ace pilot president and a crack team of fighter pilots will take those suckas out!

whatever that is.

The good news is, you get to move somewhere smarter. :bounce:

Hmph.

Because it's a shithole, and the average IQ down there, like the humidity and the temperature, seems to hover around eighty.

all the good people out of it, I don't care which state it is. It would be worth the sacrifice.

and put them all in one state and get all the cool people out first?

But only if I get to get out first ...

Bake

it's the least populos, and I don't personally know anyone living there.

Giving them Texas would be a bad idea. Skittles would kick their asses, and then the rest of the armada would take it out on all the rest of us. :)

But Charleston gets a bye. They have to cut if off and it becomes an island.

As far as I can see, Nebraska's pretty useless though.

and they gave NO END of grief to the fourth.

These are WWII era hunters with enough guns to refight the civil war.

I asked one of them about Strom and the guy said he personally hated Strom, but having powerful senators and representatives meant a lot to a small state. Coming from California, this is something that had not occurred to me. :)

and then the aliens can have the place since those guys were probably the only liberals in the entire state. (I keed, sort of)

I'm from the south, so you could just about take any state there. I mean, Gore was my senator but TN is a cess pit of talibornagains, including my brother. I wouldn't want the aliens take him, unless they do cult deprogramming and return him with all of his orifices untouched.

We'll take them on. They only think they're omnipotent.

Besides, we have a fondness for lost causes.

Of course, all DUers living in Florida would be exempt.

No offense to Flvegan, of course. :)

Can we give them Alberta? Because of Ralph Klein - among other things?

That just seems mean and uncalled for to me.

1. Nobody REALLY lives there

2. It is nothing more than a toll-road between New England and the lesser states.

:hide:

It relieves the stress.

then have a high-priced lawyer team explain Kentucky is not a state and they lose.

Because I think New Yorkers would make the most interesting case studies of human behavior.

I mean come on there are more toll booths than people there right?:hide:
*I'm so dead*

And leave the other eleven?

Not because of any particular dislike, but just because I think it would be nice if Pennsylvania had beaches.

we don't need Faulkner that badly.

Hell, we're going to lose it to global warming anyway. Let the Alpha Centurians have the underwater real estate. Just give me 24 hours warning to pack my quilts and Tibetan singing bowls.

I'm going to miss the local museums and Satchel's Pizza, though. :cry:

altho i doubt in practice that we would hand over any state, i imagine we'd fight back against an invader this blatant

Because they think they are a separate country anyway.

BTW, I live in CT and GWB is ASHAMED that he was born here. If people believe he is from Tx, that is fine with me. He's the only president born in CT. Thank God I was born and raised in NY, which gave us FDR.:)

yuck yuck, need i say more.....and take Sen Sessions with them...:rofl: :hi:

It will only be a matter of time before our State Supreme Court legislates from the bench, and human-alien marriages are made legal. :bounce:

Mexicans? Canadians? Little green people?

;-)

Some are grey.

And can i just say that Human-Alien porn is the best porn there is.

You can't make that shit up! (or did you :think: ?)

;)

3? Maybe I need to explore further. Hysterical :patriot:

:patriot:

:shrug:

too many toll booths :P

I mean, come on. :hide:

Just because it's full of Repukes...

Now look, dude, if you want to give them a place that NEEDS to be given away, how about Utah or Arizona? As Sam Kinison said when screaming about Ethiopia, "we have deserts in America. We don't live in them."

I don't know if you've ever been there, but Arizona has the weirdest smell. I'm serious.

And I know W was born in CT.
He had to leave Connecticut in order to find fools to put him in power.

so then what? 1 real state or 2 almost states?

I mean who REALLY gives a shit about Kansas?

:mad:

There's a reason our forefathers dumped the Native Americans there you know..............

:nuke:

Can you say oil? John Hinckley? Can you say BFEE?

From Wikipedia (quoting the Houston Post):

According to the March 31, 1981, edition of the Houston Post, and reported by AP, UPI, NBC News and Newsweek, Hinckley is the son of one of George H.W. Bush's political and financial supporters in his 1980 presidential primary campaign against Ronald Reagan; John Hinckley Jr.'s older brother, Scott Hinckley, and Vice President Bush's son Neil Bush had a dinner appointment scheduled for the next day.<4>

Associated Press published the following short note on March 31, 1981:

The family of the man charged with trying to assassinate President Reagan is acquainted with the family of Vice-President George Bush and had made large contributions to his political campaign ... Scott Hinckley, brother of John W. Hinckley Jr. was to have dined tonight in Denver at the home of Neil Bush, one of the Vice-President's sons ... The Houston Post said it was unable to reach Scott Hinckley, vice-president of his father's Denver-based firm, Vanderbilt Energy Corp, for comment. Neil Bush lives in Denver, where he works for Standard Oil Co of Indiana. In 1978, Neil Bush served as campaign manager for his brother, George W. Bush, the Vice-President's eldest son, who made an unsuccessful bid for Congress. Neil lived in Lubbock, Texas, throughout much of 1978, where John Hinckley lived from 1974 through 1980.

:hide:

why not oklahoma?....

I agree with you!

Sure, it would be nice to get rid of a lot of the people, but the land is too valuable.

That's why I suggested below we get rid of a state that doesn't have any real value - Florida.

a few years ago - the aliens showed up and demanded x million human sacrifices or be destroyed, so each nation had to pony up a percentage amount or the whole world would be wiped out... Most nations emptied their prisons, but of course, some sort of rebellion happened in America and fouled up the works.


I vote Texas, though. Losing a big bright red state like that would certainly shake up the electoral vote alignment.

Because some of my ancestors migrated from Mississippi and got the hell out and went to Texas, which was an improvement.

That way it hangs off there on the map makes it look like a weenie. No other reason comes to mind really.

All's fair in love, war, and electioneering.

Not because I hold anything against the people there, but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That should cause them to leave the rest of us alone.

even though technically we're a commonwealth, too. :shrug:


P.S. Skittles, you're awesome...please don't kick my ass! :hug:

America's Hat.

Our governor is the Terminator after all.

Other Southern states would be as readily handy, for sure, but by picking Florida, we're picking the most powerful of the Celebrate Stupid and Embrace Ignorance states AND it's nicely located in a corner, so the US still remains in the same basic shape without a big hole in it like we'd have if we handed them Mississippi or Georgia or Alabama.

AND it would take out Scientology's headquarters.

I better name a state in my own vicinity, so people don't think I'm picking on the south.

Idaho is very beautiful, though.

Payback for stealing the BALTIMORE COLTS.

...as remaining under the * Administration for another year.

I'll take my chances with the probes.

Oklahoma....

:hide:

Because, you know, Oklahoma sucks.

tie some land achors into Arkansas/New Mexico, and then cut the OU state lose! :D

:evilgrin:

The "hanging chads" and other anomalies led to the SOTU annointing of the present day prince of darkness.

... and parts west

I get the hell out of this godforsaken state. :evilgrin:

And the Hillbots who want their illegal primary to count do NOT get an evacuation warning!

There is absolutely NOTHING in North Dakota...well, except for the World's Largest Pile of Empty Oil Cans.

This is no shit: The owner of a Sinclair gas station in North Dakota started saving his empty oil cans and piling them in a cone shaped pile. Eventually the pile got 50 feet high.