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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:08 AM
Original message
I wanna date a tractor
specifically this one (it is wet AND dirty)


NOT this one
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Flatline Donating Member (285 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. A skinny dipper I see ...n/t
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mikeytherat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
2. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy - Kenny Chesney

Plowing these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate lordy here she comes
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Open up a throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain't a foolin me

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

We ride back and forth until we run out of light
Take it to the barn put it up for the night
Climb up in the loft sit and talk with the radio on
She said she's got a dream and I asked what it is
She wants a little farm and a yard full of kids
One more teeny weeny ride before take her home

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

Well she ain't into cars or pick up trucks
But if it runs like a Deere man her eyes light up

She thinks my tractor's....

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy


The above abomination of a "song" was used just a few years ago for the "main musical extravaganza" at the Miss Virginia Pageant. I have never laughed so hard in all my life.

mikey_the_rat
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Cabcere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 10:06 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. Believe it or not...
that song was the "theme" for my high school's homecoming dance my freshman year. :crazy: Seriously. :hi:
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #7
14. Wow. Your school seriously sucks.
Really. Sucks large.

Bake
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Cabcere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 02:05 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. And that's not even the worst part...
My junior prom was held IN A BARN. Again, totally serious here...you can't make this stuff up. :crazy:
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WilmywoodNCparalegal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
3. Be careful!
I learned from an episode of Seinfeld that you can get STDs from riding tractors.

:P
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Flatline Donating Member (285 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:35 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. That's why you wear rubber pants...n/t
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. The Burning
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Jeff In Milwaukee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 09:41 AM
Response to Original message
5. My first car...
This is how I learned how to drive!

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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. and here is my first car!
1947 Farmall Cub

with snowplow and cutting blade attachments

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Jeff In Milwaukee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:23 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. My second car was a Farmall H...
Mid 1950's vintage, as I remember.
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ProdigalJunkMail Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #8
13. there's my baby
i was tooling around on one of those from about 8 on...

sP
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Isn't it amazing how small children are allowed to drive tractors?
I started about 14, when we first got the tractor, but many start way before that.
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ProdigalJunkMail Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. i was tall for eight so I could barely reach all that was needed
but heck, i had a few hundred acres in which to make mistakes...and if all else failed i could just jump off ;-)

sP
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bbernardini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:24 AM
Response to Original message
10. Was that the original draft of Blotto's "I Wanna Be A Lifeguard"? nt
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mikeytherat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. ...
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
9 to 5
A slave driver telling me "Get on the ball!"
A crowded store
I kneel before them
Misery beyond compare
Sweaty socks
A lady boxer
What's she got against fresh air?
I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion
Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help,help,help,help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Hardly any clothes (lifeguard)
Sand between my toes (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
I'm getting fat
What does it matter?
Nobody cares at all
But next July, I'll say goodbye to every out-of-it, dull-witted fool
Convert their feet into meters, marking distance at the swimming pool
Summer blondes revealing tanlines
I'll make more moves than Allied Van Lines
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (be a big man, now...get a great tan, now)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Sitting on my chair (lifeguard)
In the salty air (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help,help,help,help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Lounging on the deck (lifeguard)
Whistle 'round my neck (lifeguard)
White stuff in my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)

mikey_the_rat
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Ptah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
11. 1953
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JustABozoOnThisBus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-29-08 11:53 AM
Response to Original message
15. I'd hate to get a "Dear John"
from a John Deere

:hi:
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