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Edited on Wed Jan-30-08 03:36 PM by RainDog
my son is also extremely sensitive to loud noises. this is a real phenomena. Apparently their brains are not filtering out some of the buzz that we sort of become unaware of. He also has a hard time with bare lightbulbs, and automatic lights... as in a garage light that turns off on its own.
when my son was younger, I was accused of spoiling him and being a bad parent because I didn't insist that he not get upset about this or that. I was blamed for so many things that, after my son's dx, I wanted to go back to all those people and say.. hey, want to apologize now? -- because you made my life hell. My sister, on the other hand, kept telling me that my patience was amazing... before she knew my son was autistic.
my step-mother and the wife of one of my ex-husband's colleagues were the worst about this, and they're both dead now. They were all about blame, tho.
I wouldn't assume drinking was a factor. I don't know of any research that supports that idea. I wondered about that for a while too, because my ex drank a lot and because my son has epicanthic folds and a wide smile that is similar to fetal alcohol syndrome expressions. However, the docs basically ruled this out.
From what I understand, it is a genetic abnormality that, like sickle-cell anemia in a way, is expressed when certain possible factors combine. Genetic shuffling. Like sickle-cell anemia latent xy, vs. sickle cell yy, (get out your old punnet chart!) , latent confers benfits upon people in malaria-prone nations, while no "y" makes people vulnerable to malaria. some speculate that aspergers' individuals could have served as the "memory" for a group of people. Severe autism is one of a few possible expressions of such a genetic possibility, as is sickle-cell anemia when the genetic shuffle for these possible traits combines in one way vs. another.
Sometimes on this board I get livid about remarks that are about blame or some hazy sort of "you make your own reality" stuff. My experience with my son is why. In great part.
The other part is that this same step-mother, who came with my dad to stay with me and my 9 month-old autistic son after my then-husband had to be committed to a mental unit and put on a suicide watch (he's bipolar, just as his dad was, and his granddad...) anyway, this same step-mother asked my father, thinking I couldn't hear her, what I did to make my ex have a major bipolar episode.
Those experiences began my gradual withdrawal from lots of people. especially women who were "expert mothers." Who needs their crap on top of everything else? I was not responsible for my ex's mental problems or my son's autism. I basically had no support from anyone while dealing with both of these issues. No big surprise that I'm now divorced.
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