What percentage of felines can answer all of these questions?

1. What exactly does "meow" mean? (Do not use the word "meow" in your explanation.)

2. Are you sure that you're a cat?

3. What does it feel like to be a cat? (Ignore this question if you aren't sure that you are a cat.)

4. What would convince you that you are a cat?

5. Do you think that human beings talk too much?

6. Can you suggest any simpler way to formulate any of these questions?

7. What important question did I neglect to ask?

1) Meowww meow mrow mrrrh. Meow meow meeeow. (translation - the complexity of the cat language is beyond humans comprehension. It depends on the context.)
2) MEOW! (translation - DUH!)
3) Prrr mrrrh mrrrh (translation - Perfect and wonderful.)
4) Prrr prrr (translation - I purr, therefore I am.)
5) MROW MROW! (translation - Hell yes!)
6) Meow prrr (translation - Write them in cat.)
7) Mrrrow, meow meeow! (translation - How can humans better serve cats!)

Edited to add translation because you humans are to simple/stupid to understand cat ... pathetic.

1. What exactly does "meow" mean? (Do not use the word "meow" in your explanation.)

It means "Fuck you if you're not going to rub my tummy or feed me."

2. Are you sure that you're a cat?

I look stupid enough to be the dog?

3. What does it feel like to be a cat? (Ignore this question if you aren't sure that you are a cat.)

Life is good. I lick myself, eat, and play with my pet human.

4. What would convince you that you are a cat?

Kind of existential, don't you think? I'm clearly the smartest thing on this planet.

5. Do you think that human beings talk too much?

Talk. Don't talk. Just scratch my ass already!

6. Can you suggest any simpler way to formulate any of these questions?

Yes. I'm a cat, clearly I'm smarter than you.

7. What important question did I neglect to ask?

Do you think they're (the humans) onto our plot for world domination?

but Milo agreed to answer.

1. What exactly does "meow" mean? (Do not use the word "meow" in your explanation.)

I refer you to "Through The Looking Glass, wherein Alice asks a similar question of Humpty Dumpty:

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone,' it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.'

'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master - that's all.'

2. Are you sure that you're a cat?

Are you sure that I'm not?

3. What does it feel like to be a cat? (Ignore this question if you aren't sure that you are a cat.)

Furry on the outside, cattish on the inside.

4. What would convince you that you are a cat?

I don't need to be convinced because it's not important. I yam what I yam.

5. Do you think that human beings talk too much?

It doesn't matter; I don't pay much attention to them anyway.

6. Can you suggest any simpler way to formulate any of these questions?

Meow.

7. What important question did I neglect to ask?

How cool is it to have a tail? You should have asked that, because having a tail is extremely cool. I bet you wish you had one.

Any self-respecting feline would simply blink slowly at you then walk away with an air of contempt.

Perhaps it rounds to 0%, but the percentage seems to be strictly greater than zero.

let's just say she thought the keys were treats...

I refuse to answer these inane questions. Get real, dude.

Because I AM a cat!

:rofl:

She walked away.

:hi:

Smokie says-These questions are pointless as they will not lead to food.
Sophie says...BAHAHA! I'm not a cat..I'm ruler of the universe..Besides I'm too busy with my schedule of keeping an eye on birds, breaking fragile objects and destroying furniture to answer questions....:)

I decided to attempt to commune with them after giving the obligatory offerings of food and skritches...


1. What exactly does "meow" mean? (Do not use the word "meow" in your explanation.)

Mitzi - The Goddess of Agriculture & Death - "The word is not to spoken by mere clumsy ones such as yourself. The word is the word and within it holds the birth and destruction of our universe. Now rub my belly as atonement for your ridiculous question!"

2. Are you sure that you're a cat?

Isis - The Goddess of Love & Discord - "Am I not beautiful? Am I not perfection? I melt your heart with but a glance and graceful turn of my neck. Therefore I am cat."

3. What does it feel like to be a cat? (Ignore this question if you aren't sure that you are a cat.)

Patton - The Jaguar God of War - "We are the pinnacle of evolution. Who but cat could conquer you humans so easily. You give us your food as offerings. You build us fine castles. You handle our droppings. You live to serve us. We are the chosen."

4. What would convince you that you are a cat?

Mitzi - I am cat.

5. Do you think that human beings talk too much?

Isis - We ignore your mumblings you use with the other clumsy ones. We only attentionate (the household word for "pay attention to") the proper speech you direct to us. We civilized you humans eons ago when we destroyed the ratlings and mouslings that plagued you. Our control of the small ones allowed you to stay in one place and farm. Since then we have been with you and you have been most conducive to the proliferation of catkind via expansive civilization. So no, since we created you we are responsible for your development as "gabbers". The only clumsy ones who talk too much are those who command the barkers incessantly. Why you keep that lackey race around is the only thing that disturbs us.


6. Can you suggest any simpler way to formulate any of these questions?

Patton - Since you cannot command The Word as we can, you are unlikely to achieve true communication.

7. What important question did I neglect to ask?

Mitzi - "How can I best serve Cat? That is the only question that you should ask. Rub my belly."

Heh,

Wife and I are a bit nutty about our cats :)

Mitz on the left, Patton on the right...



Isis