My dad is pissing me off!

He goes out about 3-4 nights a week, which is fine in itself. I rarely ever go out at night - maybe once a month, usually less.

Anyways, last Saturday, one of my favorite authors/activists/people in the world, Kate Bornstein, was perforing her one-woman show in my city. Me and Kate have e-mailed back and forth before, and I even interviewed her once for a project. Naturally, I went to that show.

I had been talking about going to that show for at least two weeks, and had bought my tickets a week in advance. Since the show was at night in a theatre downtown, my dad said he'd pick me up. About 10 minutes before I headed out the door, I reminded my dad that he was picking me up. He's like "No, I can't, going out with friends tonight. Take a taxi." He then gave me money for a taxi.

I had to take a taxi home, at night, alone, in downtown Toronto. Unsafe much?

I confronted him about this the next day, and he's like "Yeah, that's kind of unsafe. But I need to have a life too. I guess you won't be able to go out in those circumstances anymore."

Umm..what? He goes out several nights a week and I almost never do. Plus, my favorite author was in town, AND I bought the tickets well in advance. He wasn't even doing anything really pressing, just going out with friends.

Is he being selfish? Or am I just overreacting?

it used to be one of the safest cities around, but I've haven't been there in a while...

Teens in NYC take the subway and taxies a lot I think - if you are old enough, it kind of makes sense.

JMO

since it was practically door-to-door.

But I mentioned it to my mom, and she told me how unsafe it was. Hmm. I guess I overreacted (and so did she)

my childrens father would overreact to anything I did, or allowed my children to do.

If I let my son wear baggy clothes, "OMG, you are letting our son be a drug dealer"

When I allowed my son to become a vegetarian, I was turning him into a hippie and a democrat (it was totally my sons decision, not mine)

If I bought my son a cell phone so he could keep in touch with me "OMG, only drug dealers carry cell phones"

Did I mention that my exhusband was an undercover narcotics officer?

I think maybe your mother overreated. Maybe she has issues with him going out?

that's funny.
and annoying at the same time i guess (especially if you are married to him! but obviously you're not because you said ex. well, you still have to deal with him.)

Then again, I live in metro Detroit.

In Bowling For Columbine, Moore walks up to houses in the Toronto area to see if they lock their doors. Most people didn't, or so it appeared in the movie.

Most people think Detroit is more dangerous than it really is. It's dangerous to be a Detroiter, but not so dangerous to be a Detroit visitor.

I assume cab drivers respond to calls and go to specific addresses up there. If you walked several blocks in a bad part of town when you could have called, that was bad judgment on your part.

If calling for a cab was not an option and walking blocks to get a cab(or standing on a street corner for ages to do so) was your only choice, and your dad knew that, then he is a selfish ass.

I lived on Queen West, and I spent time downtown. No matter the time of night or day, throw out your arm and a cab pulls up. At most I've waited 5 mins, and never had to walk. The odd time, I called one, usually if I was at a friends house.

and that is all.

So it was probably a bit inconsiderate to change plans and put it on you. Still, I don't think it was a particularly bad solution to give you money for a taxi, nor does it seem like it would be all that unsafe for someone your age.

I might be totally off base here, but your post sounds like something I might have written at about 15 or 16 (if computers at the time hadn't been as big as a house and only capable of doing math). When I was a teenager, my dad wasn't really around much. He had his own life and it didn't seem to have much to do with me. And I resented that. I was often left on my own to figure out things like how I was going to get home. I sometimes felt like an impediment to him. So if it was me that wrote that, I'd chalk it up to my dad being detached once again from my life which feels kinda shitty.

I hope that's not what you feel. Anyway, that's my .02. Probably not worth much more than that.

He gave you money for a taxi?! That's awesome. It sounds to me like you have a pretty great dad. Obviously nothing bad happened to you, so it seems like you both used good judgement.

telling me how unsafe it was, so I guess I did too.

(I actually might delete my OP if I still can. It sounds dumb.)

I just think people worry too much about things being 'unsafe'. When I was a kid, my dad wouldn't let us go see the Detroit Tigers, because he had this idea that Detroit was a completely unsafe city - how nuts is that? I don't think many cities actually are unsafe, if you're willing to use a little common sense.

But your Dad did kinda fuck up saying he'd pick you up and then backing out at the last moment.

Wow! Another Kate fan! I loved Gender Outlaw and Hello Cruel World. She's great. And very friendly.

Khash.

require your father to supply you with rides (if you are older than 18)?

But like I said, I was overreacting.

It's dumb and clearly an overreaction on my part.

But I am glad you came to terms about it.

Take care!

Sorry, I wouldn't let my daughter go off alone.

The more you become comfortable with it, the more independent you'll feel.


It does sound like your father was a dolt to make other plans while "forgetting" that he had agreed to pick you up. Parents are dolts sometimes. ;-)

And, yes, he's being selfish.