Interview questions and how not to answer them:

What position are you most interested in and why?

What makes you more qualified than the other applicants?

What do you know about our company?

Well, I saw an ad in the paper. It said that by killing off smaller companies, you big corporations make your names well known. Why should it fucking matter?

What skills do you have to offer our company?

Skills only as strong as the money you're going to pay me.


What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?

I can bench press 2 tons, and I have a weakness for people with big organs.

What salary, hourly and/ or benefits are you expecting?

$2/hr, just like the Indians you exploit.

What are planning to be doing in 5 years?

Dying from a depression brought about by the collapse of our economic infrastructure due to peak oil.

Why are you considering a career change at this time?
That's irrelevant. Why not ask me my age, like Best Buy did?

What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

You're questioning ME and you can't even keep track of your own questions? Go sit on your finger and spin on it!

What do you like the most/least about your current job?

Much like millions of Americans, thanks to corporate america, we haven't any jobs. What do you want me to say, and why does it matter? It's not relevant.

Why should we hire you?

Why should I work for you?

What do you like (dislike) about your current position (boss)?

(this question must surely be foul, as in off-limits to ask.) You have no right to ask that, that is not relevant, just because I like (dislike) my current position (boss) doesn't mean the same feelings automatically translate to you.

that's all I can think of for you, young man. You got what it takes to be 'an associate'.

he asked:

In you last position, how did you handle conflicts among your fellow employees?

My answer, "With profanity and fists mostly."

Sad part....it was true.........

Aside from the fact that my current job is sucking the life from my body thru my eyeballs every bleeding day? Aside from the fact that my current boss is a flaming asswipe with severe halitosis? Hell, I LOVE my current job! :)

Now, actual fact, most folks do leave jobs because they are pissed off at the boss. The smart ones never admit it--but if you talk to them long enough they will tell you why they left sooner or later--and it always comes down to a manager that inspired no loyalty for whatever reason.

I was amazed when I worked as a headhunter (years ago) at what people will tell you about themselves or about bosses in an interview.

The secret is to answer that with a positive...

I want to stay with a company for the rest of my life and I am seeking growth opportunity in my next job.

I'm hoping to find an opportunity to bring all my skills to work for my next employer.

Find a way to honestly tell them what happy things you want from and FOR them.

Turnover is a big issue because it costs so much to re-train newbies. Middle management is sometimes graded on retention of employees. They WANT to hear that you are gonna hang there forever or that you WANT to do all you can for them. The Human resources guy is really on the hot seat-and if you are a chronic job changer, he has to be able to justify hiring you--positive answers will give him that.

Best of luck!

Laura

I already have. I've been in the work force for 27 years, and have never gotten a job wherein there was a competitive interview.