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I found a "marital aid" in my front yard this morning

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BlackVelvetElvis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 09:29 AM
Original message
I found a "marital aid" in my front yard this morning
I guess one of the neighbor's dogs found it somewhere. It had been chewed on.
It was hot pink and didn't go well with my green grass. I wasn't gonna touch it, so I kicked it across the yard, the street and into the vacant lot. Didn't want the neighbor's to talk ;)
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Bronco69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 09:30 AM
Response to Original message
1. ROFL!
I'll bet there's a story there! :-)
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 09:30 AM
Response to Original message
2. "marital aid"?
A Visa card? :shrug:
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DBoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 09:55 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. No, a post-it
with "please put down the toilet seat when you are done" written on it
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 08:51 AM
Response to Reply #4
18. HAH! That would do it for me! nt.
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liberalitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 09:36 AM
Response to Original message
3. should have made pop art....
lay a chewed upon barbie next to it....
and apply for NEA funding.... I hear the bushes are giving it away!
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pansypoo53219 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
5. well
my cat got a card to return and she would get a sex toy catalogue.

she gets gevalia coffee. funny mailing list.
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
6. I found one once...it was MUCH fun!
It was a very large vibrator. I found it on the corner by the hotel. I picked it up by the wires and walked back into work with it and placed it carefully on the security desk and turned it on. Then I walked past the night manager and yelled, "Hey, Marc, I left something for you on the desk."

All I heard as I walked down the hall was, "YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!"

Poetic justice, believe me.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 11:12 AM
Response to Reply #6
13. wires?
It had exposed wires? Yikes.
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 07:42 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. Exposed wires...
Well, yes and no. It had wires that went to a control box that had a speed switch on it.
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
7. i was NOT in your front yard this morning!
:D
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
8. Man, that sucks for the person who lost it
"Marital aids" aren't exactly cheap.
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Nihil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 11:11 AM
Response to Reply #8
12. Serves 'em right ...
Edited on Wed Mar-10-04 11:13 AM by Nihil
... for not noticing it had dropped out ... :evilgrin:

On edit: I forgot that the OP said it had been chewed ... maybe all of
the flavour had gone?
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MountainLaurel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #8
21. Chew toy?
I bet the dog found it under the bed after a "session" (or even after it had just been removed from the package) and took it outside thinking it was a toy.
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ConcernedCanuk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
9.  . . . LOL re: "Didn't want the neighbor's to talk" . . .
.
.
.

Better hope none of your neighbours SAW you, and

WHAT you were "kicking" all over the place !!

:evilgrin:
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 10:57 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. What was that name? Lorena Bobbitt?
Lorena Bobbitt as a telephone operator:
I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to cut you off.
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Deb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
11. Is this really your post #666?
Oh my goodness!:evilgrin:
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CapnJackSparrow Donating Member (47 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
14. Yeah,right.
Like we believe that you just "found" it.....
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prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
15. "Marital aid"
So, like you don't think single women use them as well? :shrug:

Most I've ever found in my yard was used condoms and dog poop (I don't own a dog) :grr:
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Redneck Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-10-04 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. At the same time?
Yikes!
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BlackVelvetElvis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 11:31 AM
Response to Reply #15
19. I was trying to be delicate
it was really a 9" long dildo.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #19
20. Oh! THATS what happened to it!
I hadn't seen it in the bottom of the fish tank for a while....
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #19
23. that's not all that big
You oughta see...

...

No, I'm just gonna get modded.
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Ganja Ninja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 01:21 PM
Response to Original message
22. I'm sure a dental exam will reveal it's Ann Coulters.
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-11-04 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. Don't make me laugh
any harder. My bladder won't like it. :D
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