I am a uniter, not a divider. Ask me anything!

President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:00 PM
Original message

I am a uniter, not a divider. Ask me anything!

It's been a tough 3 years, what with the bickering, the sniping, the refusals to bend to accomodate another's positions... but enough of Pickles' and my sex life.

I wish to set the records straight about my administration, goals, plans, policies, etc.

So ask me anything.

But you only have 60 minutes.

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BurtWorm

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:01 PM
Response to Original message

1. Why do you suck so baaaaad!

:wtf:

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. I am going to have to ask Pickles

not to discuss our 'personal life' after she's had a snootful.

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KittyWampus

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:02 PM
Response to Original message

3. What's Your Favorite Television Show?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #3

7. I've always been partial to the TeleTubbies

But not that Tinky-Winky. He creeps me out.

heh heh... teletubbies

If I'm good, Unka Dick even lets me hold the remote control!

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BelleCarolinaPeridot

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:04 PM
Response to Original message

4. I have the letters E N R O and N in my name ...

Can I have some illegal money too ?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #4

12. Now, Now, my good friend Kenny worked REAL HARD for that money

Why don't we talk about Martha instead?

She is shining proof that not ALL malfis... malfec... mal-feas-ance was committed by male republicans. It might be only 99% of the corporate evil-doers were republicans.

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BelleCarolinaPeridot

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #12

15. GW can you spell dictionary ?

Let alone have you ever flipped through one ?

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TXlib

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #15

32. He prefers books with pictures.

Edited on Wed Mar-10-04 12:34 PM by TXlib

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BelleCarolinaPeridot

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #32

35. LOL

:hi:

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #15

42. HAH! Trick question.

You just spelled it for me!

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StopTheMorans

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:04 PM
Response to Original message

5. do you wear an ear bug for your "speeches"?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #5

13. I have a hard time reading the tele-thingie

and it would have been unseemly for Unka Dick and Karl to be whispering in my ear during the speeches, so it seemed like a good idea.

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Wickerman

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:05 PM
Response to Original message

6. Bowing to your expertise

Peruvian or Columbian?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #6

16. Columbian

You know, Juan Valdez, and all. Best coffee in the world.

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Wickerman

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #16

25. Wondering about something with a tad more kick

a man of your means and experience should be able to provide the background on the preferred uh, "beans".

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TXlib

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #25

31. Well, you can always make espresso.

Or else grind the beans real fine and snort the result.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #25

41. I surely do not know what you mean.

Although Karl tells me that huffing paint can be a lot of fun.

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MikeG

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:05 PM
Response to Original message

8. Go back to Texas, whistle ass.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #8

18. Hey now, Don't Mess With Texas!

Ha ha, "Whistle ass"... that was one wild, drunken frat party when they gave me that nickname.

There weren't any women at that party. Strange.

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IronLionZion

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #18

52. Buddy, YOU messed with Texas!

and I hear you fucked it up real bad.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #52

54. Prove it.

My friends have the records shredded good.

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slinkerwink

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:06 PM
Response to Original message

9. can you do me a favor by pulling on that tie tighter?

alright, thanks!

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #9

20. Silly you!

Oxygen deprivation can't possibly harm my brain.

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peekaloo

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:08 PM
Response to Original message

10. without specific directions/instructions

could you find your ass with both hands?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #10

23. Sure.

It's not like my ass is a WMD.

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Ganja Ninja

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:09 PM
Response to Original message

11. Why do hot dogs come in packages of 8 while...

hot dog buns come in packages of ten?

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Bucky

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #11

21. Why buy the package of 8 after a hot dog has come in it?

That's not off-color is it?

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LynneSin

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #11

22. Why not buy 5 packs of Hot Dogs and 4 packs of Buns

Then you'll be all evened out in the end.

Of course god knows why anyone wants 40 hot dogs in their house??

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #11

24. Ahh, now that was a bit of genius.

Karl tells me that hot dogs and buns are what he calls 'inferior goods'... the poorer you are, the more you buy!

This scheme is designed so that you have to buy 8 packages of buns, and 10 of hot dogs, thus ensuring that the poor (A) eat lots of unhealthy food so they won't live long enough to be a drain on the money of the rich, and (B) won't be able to contribute to the democratic party.

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LynneSin

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:11 PM
Response to Original message

14. Seriously, do you know you lost Florida

Really, you knew Gore won the state and is the real president.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #14

26. That depends on what the definition of "is" is.

You silly democrats. You still think that voting has anything to do with power.

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Bronco69

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:12 PM
Response to Original message

17. Is it true that

john asscroft* actually has a viral infection from wiping his ass with the bill of rights?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #17

27. He has a viral infection

but I plead the fifth on how he got it...

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Bucky

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:14 PM
Response to Original message

19. Welcome to DU GW!!

It's good to have a new "member" around here. And you are certainly a big member, if you know what I mean.

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TXlib

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #19

30. Yes, well, everything is bigger in Texas!

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #30

40. Everything is indeed bigger in Texas.

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Bucky

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Wed Mar-10-04 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #40

46. Problem is, it hasn't only been in Texas. It's been in every one of us.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #46

47. Yes, it has. Now roll over, 'cause I'm not finished with you yet.

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terrya

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:29 PM
Response to Original message

28. Why do you pronounce "nuclear" as NUKE-ULAR?

It drives me up the wall!

Terry

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #28

36. Karl tells me to.

He says it is part of my rustic charm, and it has the side bonus of driving all you edumacated liberals up the wall!

What brilliant strategery!

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TXlib

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:29 PM
Response to Original message

29. President_G_W_Bush is a dingbat.

Sorry, Robb, you don't even come close on this one.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #29

37. We'll see what you have to say after my buddy John gitmo's your ass.

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ZenLefty

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:33 PM
Response to Original message

33. What's 240 divided by 12?

Oh, sorry. You're not a divider. :+

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #33

38. Ow! That question hurt my head!

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DuctapeFatwa

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:34 PM
Response to Original message

34. I can't help but notice that there are lots of countries the US isn't

occupying yet. How do you answer critics who complain that you are taking too long to impose America's will on dangerous regimes like Finland and Lichtenstein?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #34

39. Unka Dick and Rummy assure me that

Liechtenstein is pursuing a dangerous WMD program. So, never fear, we'll be liberating them, soon, too.

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terrya

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:46 PM
Response to Original message

43. Why do you spend so damn much time on vacation??? A MONTH???

Most people don't have that much vacation time.

Terry

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #43

44. Do you REALLY want MY finger on "The Button"?

Trust me, Karl and Unka Dick say this is the best way I can be president.

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Ottmar

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Wed Mar-10-04 01:23 PM
Response to Original message

45. Hey George, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?

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President_G_W_Bush

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Wed Mar-10-04 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #45

48. I'm gonna shoot my old lady

caught her messin' round with another man.

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UrbScotty

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Fri Mar-12-04 04:01 PM
Response to Original message

49. Would you like a bag of pretzels? (nt)

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SarahB

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Fri Mar-12-04 04:26 PM
Response to Original message

50. Had anyone ever told you that you have tiny hands?

In proportion to your big head, they look awfully small. :P

(I think the is Newsman Matt Drudge in a new form who was the new form of who???)

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President_G_W_Bush

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #50

55. That's not the only part of my body that's tiny.

Newsman Matt Drudge is a friend of mine. He and Karl talk for hours together.

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Vladimir

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:19 PM
Response to Original message

51. Is it true

Edited on Fri Mar-12-04 05:20 PM by Vladimir

self deleted due to moment of drunken poor taste

V

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President_G_W_Bush

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #51

56. No. None of it is true.

However, I certainly understand moments of drunken poor taste. As an example, I give you Pickles...

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AntiCoup2K4

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:30 PM
Response to Original message

53. Hey Junior! Why did Poppy and Uncle Dick send you to Florida on 9-10-01?

Is it true that they wanted you out of the way while they stayed up late in the Oval Office, strategizing for the plan that began the next morning?

And if this is the case, can we assume that the 6 week vacation you spent in Crawford that summer was for the same reason? And likewise with all your other month long vacations.

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President_G_W_Bush

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Fri Mar-12-04 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #53

57. They said something about "too many cooks spoiling the broth"

But I didn't get it.

There was no soup that day.

All I got was my usual peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, with the crusts cut off.

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