(And no, there aren't any pornos)
"The DVD library will feature an extensive collection of movies produced during my eight years in the White House," Clinton said, speaking to reporters in his Harlem office. "It will also provide the public with access to some classic re-releases and a bunch of great newer films. Did you all see Lost In Translation? Really beautiful movie. Some people said it was slow, but I thought it was perfect. I picked that one up at Best Buy earlier today."
The Clinton Presidential DVD Library will be located in a 27-acre city park on the south bank of the Arkansas River in Little Rock's River Market District. The 11th in a nationwide network of libraries administered by the Office of Presidential Libraries, Clinton's library will be the first devoted exclusively to movies.
"This library will be a monument to both my love of great movies and the improvement in picture quality, special-feature capabilities, and durability that the DVD standard brings," Clinton said. "Sure, VHS costs a little less, but you don't get any of the extras, like commentary tracks and deleted scenes. From an archivist's standpoint, DVDs are totally worth the money."
Clinton's DVD holdings number an impressive 97 volumes, all of which are currently housed in his den.
...Award-winning architect James Polshek designed the building that will house the DVD library.
"Mr. Clinton had a very clear vision for the library," Polshek said. "He said he wanted it to be a place where people would feel comfortable. He specifically asked me to limit the amount of natural light inside the museum, and to find a bunch of comfy couches."
Clinton elaborated on the design.
"The individual viewing carrels will be equipped with 32-inch plasma televisions and top-of-the-line Sennheiser headphones," Clinton said. "The library's main auditorium will have 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound and stadium seating. Can't you imagine how great it will be to come and watch Jurassic Park with all your buddies? That scene where they crest the hill and see the brontosauruses? Remember?"
Added Clinton: "I know my library is not in competition with the others, but I do believe Americans will enjoy the experience more than they'd like peering at Gerald Ford's desk calendar through Plexiglas."
In spite of Clinton's wishes, concessions will not be sold in the library. http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?i=1&n=1
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