Anybody drink to "cope"?

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Sometimes? Occasionally?
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I used to drink a LOT (I wish I had a 48-point font to make that emphasis),
but it was always fun, fun, fun.
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Well... there was this once (seriously, I can only remember once... though
you KNOW there's that whole "befuddled" thing with heavy alcohol use).
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That night, I broke up with my GF of about 4-5 years (she was thinking
marriage... I wasn't) and it wasn't pretty -- both saying some hurt and
hurtful things. I went home and could NOT cope with it at all.
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Went to my regular bar and started ordering doubles on the rocks and just
putting them down at a relatively quick and steady pace without a word to
anyone, not even the bartender (I would raise my empty glass, he would
raise his eyebrows, and I would nod -- we were both exceptionally fluent
in Saloonese. He (a GOOD bartender and an even BETTER person) eventually
came over and PLANTED himself in front of me and asked if I were alright
(he would have focused on me, if I had needed it). I told him that I was
NOT, but if he kept feeding me drinks, I would be. He knew I walked there
and that home was only about 3 blocks almost no-traffic blocks away.
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Very drunk... and not a millisecond of fun during the whole process of
getting that way. VERY physically pained the next day (and the root causes
were still there), but it did what I needed done when I probably most needed
it done.
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Onliest time I can think of (by the way... although I had been married
BEFORE that, NOW I think of this particular woman as "the ONE that got
away" -- and there are no others of which I think that -- what a fucking
MAROON!!!!)
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Talk about denial!!! I'm reading this over and had completely forgotten what
I refer to as "my soggy year". I had taken "'til death do us part" VERY
seriously, and when my ex and I split (15 years or so prior to the above
incident), I would leave work and head straight to the bar and close it,
7 days a week, speaking to no one but my bartender (and only then to stay
on her good side so that she would bring me more alcohol promptly when
desired). Almost a year to the day when one of the waitresses there, in
having fun on her night off, talked me into taking her home with me.
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I was INSTANTLY reminded that YESYESYESYESYES, life IS worth living and
I went from zero to full-throttle enjoyable life again in about 10 seconds.
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C'MON, cut me some slack... it HAD been a full year.
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Within a week, we were living together. Only lasted 3-4 months, but I will
be forever grateful to her for the help she gave me when I needed it most.
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But I still think of the woman in the first story as THE one that got away.
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Many use a drink or two to unwind -- I'm asking about some serious drinking
done to help "cope" with more than just the daily annoying humdrum grind.
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I STILL unwind with a glass or two of red wine once a month or so (fireplace
in a bottle for me). It helps me cope in the same way as taking a walk or
laughing with friends does and it's not done at any conceivably harmful level.
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How about you?
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I have a fully stocked bar, nearly a hundred bottles of wine, and 3-4 different varieties of beer in the fridge at any given time.

Although I drink most every day, it's very rare that I have more than two and more often than not I stop at one. I find it makes the transition between work and home easier as I like to keep the two separate. I'm not sure I'd call that coping, although some might.

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...that's enjoyment/relaxation.
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MiddleFingerMomDad used to have somewhere between 2-6 hardcore
martinis each and EVERY night when he got home.
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I consider him to have been a functioning, social alcoholic. Only saw it
affect his behavior negatively ONCE in decades of the practice.
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MiddleFingerMomMom just didn't drink, except I saw her get SHITFACED
on frozen daiquiris at their 25th wedding anniversary.
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Very, very, very VERY funny
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Very funny.
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life in general. I'm an old (sbout to retire) construction worker. When I get home, most every bone in my body hurts, When I get home, almost every bone in my Psychie hurts from being asked to do mindless work in a shitty, depressing environment working with contemporaries that are Neanderthalls.
Drinking makes the pain go away. Well, O.K. Maybe it does not go a-way but I don't feel it. that will do, at least for a few hours.

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...ESPECIALLY since you're about to retire.
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Look around for some volunteer work where you can provide some
service TO OTHERS -- and not necessarily in the construction
business.
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Deliver Meals-on-Wheels. Cuddle preemie babies in the hospital
late at night. Visit an elderly shut-in with no nearby family.
Read to children at the library. Do something possibly FUN that
also lets you feel a definite sense of accomplishment directed
TO OTHERS -- it helps you get out of your "self".
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Happened to me. Shit job. New place. Didn't know many people.
What was degenerating into a shit life. Got out of my "self"
and started doing things for "others" -- amazing how much my
whole worldview changed.
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Don't think about it. Actively pursue it. Chances are there's
an organization nearby that does nothing but inform people
what volunteer work is available in your area.
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Good luck. Beats drinking the pain away (talk to a doctor about
the physical side of it -- maybe about the other sides of it, too).
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I drank even during the afternoons on occasion and the point (as I told my psychiatrist at the time) was entirely to numb the pain. In time it stopped working and I drank on. Finally I had my antidepressant meds changed and like a miracle, the urge to drink disappeared, literally. I got shitfaced once out of habit, didn't like it, and haven't done it again.

While I was drinking the family was very afraid I'd turned into an alcoholic and would never stop. I always knew I'd stop when the pain stopped and that's exactly what I did. The moral of the story: do something to control your hurt, stress or worry because it can open the door to feeling much more hurt, stress or worry. I was lucky but somebody without kids and little hope might not be.

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...inasmuch that when I decided to stop, I simply... stopped.
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No cravings. No habit. No problem. Was lucky enough to simply be
able to move on. Still drank (sometimes a LOT) for fun, but never
again to "cope).
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Good for you (and how fortunate for you and me -- many "accidentally
pick up habits that are extremely hard to break once the need for
them has passed).
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and smoke some dope to cope. ;)

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...but I can't elope.
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Why do I suddenly feel like Andre the Giant in "The Princess Bride"?
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but now I drink a lot less. I think I was trying to live the life of an artist abroad, and a journalist abroad, and a young cynical writer abroad...you get the idea. That was the only time I've ever been on a real, honest-to-God bender; it lasted three days. I drank pretty much every day. I can still drink a lot but I do much less of it anymore.

my husbands family.

i guess i do. lol

If I have more than 3 beers now I will probably throw up. I prefer Herbal Coping.

and his family. You still have to come down from it in the end.

:)

didn't stop right then. So I'm an alcoholic and can't drink anymore.

I eat instead.

My drinking has always been about fun, but I also know there is serious alcoholism in the family and I can see it in me with the tendency to not have a CLUE when to stop. I rarely drink anymore - can't really afford it right now, plus having those two boys in the house makes it hard to keep a private stash anyway, if you know what I mean :rofl:

should I start drinking so that I can cope?

drinking doesn't do it for me. I get migraines too easily.