my DH is hilarious...

He answered his cell phone this morning a few minutes ago.
I was in my office making a phone call, so I couldn't quite hear the conversation.
He was on the phone for just a second...and he'd just gotten out of the tub trying to get to his physical therapy appointment on time.

Who was that?, I asked.

I don't know...somebody asking for Karen, he said. Wrong number.

I teased him and said...unless there is something you need to tell me? (as if to imply he's been going by that name...he's got a standard name like a Bill or Dan or Steve type name.
I wasn't trying to be funny. I'm just a smart ass.) Usually he just ignores me.

He looked at me dead pan perfect timing ...caught me so off guard...and said....Noooooo....pause pause pause...besides, my stage name is DIVINE!

I nearly lost my coffee. :spray:

I don't know if this translates well in a post, but I thought it was hilarious. He's always saying funny things like that.
You know that guy on twitter that has that "shit my dad says"...I really need to start writing down some of the stuff my husband says.
He even has his own vocabulary. Also when we are in traffic, he comes up with some of the strangest things to call people. Really. I need to get a notebook.

"Lot-o-bit" is one word = the opposite of "a little bit".
also
oporpa the opposite of apropos..

silly guys we are...

the other day he said he was "looking for proper container-age" when rummaging through the rubbermaid and tupperware.
which actually isn't all that exciting. he does seem to like to add "age" as a suffix to create new words.

I haven't been in the car with him in rush hour in a while. that provides lots of funny stuff.

also, he makes up super duper nasty or nonsensical passwords for things on-line.
He does that just to make me have to say, what? He likes to catch me off guard.
or if they let you give "nicknames" to things inside an account....he'll go in and change it to something completely outrageous so that the next time I log in, he gets me.
In a very geeky way, it's funny to think of someone running an account report somewhere, and reading through it and going....huh? whu?

Some of the things he says I would even be embarrassed to repeat in the lounge. ;)