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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-24-10 09:42 PM
Original message
Man Used Penis to Assault Female Police Officer
Edited on Mon May-24-10 09:48 PM by Bucky
Man Used PENIS (sic) to Assault Female Police Officer

Marium Varinauskas, 28, was fined $900 on Monday for attempting to assault a female police officer with his penis.

The Lithuanian man had been arguing with his girlfriend when police were called to his apartment in Aberdeen, Scotland. When officers arrived Varinauskas was drunk and in his underpants.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch told the court: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Varinauskas was arrested by the officers and led out of the apartment building in his underwear. His lawyer told the court his client could not remember the incident but accepted the police officer's version of events.

"He apologizes profusely and is extremely embarrassed," the lawyer added.

Varinauskas has now quit binge drinking.

A police spokesman said: "This was a distasteful experience for the officer."


I apologize for including the bit about the assailant being Lithuanian. I am loathe to perpetuate ethnic stereotypes. So let me be clear about this. Not all Lithuanians go about shoving their genitalia in other peoples' faces. Don't let the actions of a few shape what you think about the innocent ten percent.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 06:32 AM
Response to Original message
1. I'm surprised Marium isn't singing soprano today.
As long as we're doing ethnic stereotypes, Scotswomen aren't noted for their tolerance of male tackiness.

"Subject attempted to assault me with a weapon. I disarmed him (metaphorically speaking)."
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 07:24 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. If this was in the US, he'd have claimed it was self defense & cited the 2nd Amendment
Edited on Tue May-25-10 07:24 AM by Bucky
And the officer would have Lifetime Movie out already.


Of course in the United States we can all have guns, so we don't need penises.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 07:29 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Actually, if it was in the U.S., he'd be dead.
Probably shot 45 times.
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 04:36 PM
Response to Reply #4
15. If it happened in the US, he'd have a reality show on MTV.
(slaps forehead)
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. But wait, there's more.
Faux Nues will run with this 24/7, blaming it all on President Obama with the Clentis as the mastermind.

Pat Robertson will harrumph that this is evidence that women, especially women in uniform, excite and tempt men; it was her fault.

Rand Paul will mumble something about civil rights legislation. No one will have any idea what he's talking about, but the statement will be analyzed more carefully than the Rosetta Stone.

Michael Steele will say that if Republicans had been in charge of the 'hood this wouldn't have happened because we're only into girl on girl action.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 07:26 AM
Response to Original message
3. He'll be pissed if he's only charged with a misdemeanor.
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #3
11. "Public nuisance" rofl n/t
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 01:09 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. Dismissed...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...for lack of evidence.
.
:freak:
.
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JCMach1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 07:42 AM
Response to Original message
5. shame she couldn't reach her taser!
:patriot:
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 08:16 AM
Response to Original message
6. He was loaded and cocked and got off with a fine?
:shrug:
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 11:53 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. No, he was only loaded. She's the one who just barely missed being cocked.
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Bombero1956 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 10:26 AM
Response to Original message
8. perfect time
for a Taser.
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Demoiselle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
10. Is he very tall? Is the policewoman very short?
I'm having trouble visualizing this. If he was standing and able to thrust his accountrements in her face, and he/ she were not unusually tall/short, that means she was down on the floor. What was she doing down on the floor during an arrest?

I'm confused.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. That was my question, too.
The only thing I can think of is he was on the floor, semi out or pretending. She knelt down to check his condition and then the hilarity ensued.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
12. Dickhead.
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
16. Unclear on the concept. "WTF is this thing and WTF do I do with it?"
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-10 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
17. After a couple incidents here, the police made me register my penis as a lethal weapon.
Just sayin'.
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-10 02:01 AM
Response to Original message
18. A picture of the dick-head...


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Indi Guy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-10 03:10 AM
Response to Original message
19. What do you mean by the "Innocent Ten Percent?" Who Decides Guilt & Innocence here?...
Using your logic, there must be a guilty 90% -- Exactly who may these people be?
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-10 09:45 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. Well obviously I was referring to...
...the other 90% of Lithuanian men who do go about shoving their genitalia in other peoples' faces. I was being delicate to avoid being offensive. Why can't other people be as generous, liberal, and compassionate as me?

(I mean besides the 90% of Lithuanians who are utter assholes)
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SwampG8r Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-10 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
20. thank you for making sure lithuanian culture was not blamed
and may i add that i met a scot policewoman in glasgow who did not evade or dodge
so the same can be said of the scots.
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retread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-10 03:43 PM
Response to Original message
22. Charged with assault with a dead weapon. n/t
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