Lets talk about sex (ed) baby

I am reading a fascinating book The Purity Myth
How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women
by Jesicca Valenti
who also wrote Full Frontal Feminism ( which I also highly recommend)

It brought up a question in my mind, what was I taught about sex?

Now, keep in mind I was a bit high my sophomore year, but to the best of my ability we had a week of "sex ed" somewhere mixed in with the dangers of smoking and the benefit of fiber....( honestly)

I remember them mentioning condoms, but not how to use them, I remember being told that the only way to avoid std's and pregnancy was ABSTINENCE

So I never saw a condom till my friend bought one at a pizza restaurant bathroom vending machine. It had bumps on it ( which I now know is for his and her pleasure) my friend told me it was to accommodate the bumps from when the man was "horny" SERIOUSLY I was 13

I remember seeing pics of herpes infected genitals, and we even had a fetus in a jar one day ( I know realize this fetus was at least 5 to 6 months gestation) but they told us it was an aborted baby.

I don't remember being taught to be ashamed ( however the author of The Purity Myth says this is a huge part of abstinent only ed.) I got plenty of shame in church though)

This was 1993 in a well to do community in PA

Were you taught about sex, safe sex, did they use scare tactics and medically inaccurate info? If you don't mind including the year and state you lived in........

I am just fascinated by this book and all I am learning, had learned, and what you have been taught, and then learned.

on edit: my dad taught me the correct info and how much sex rocks before he passed away when I was 16, thank you dad.

We had little movies in fifth and sixth grade about how girls were going to start "menstruating."

There was no sex education done in high school at all...and our parents didn't talk about it in those days, either, other than moms or older sisters explaining the feminine hygiene products.

It's really kind of sad.

I saw the video in 5th grade
mom spoke briefly about it after

sex ed sucked ( obviously)

thank god for an very open, sex loving dad ( he wanted us to know what was up, even though we were raised "catholic"

Ninth grade, we got the "condom over the banana" demonstration and explanations of five or six different kinds of birth control and where to go to get it.

We learned how to cook heroin shots in the same class. Good times.

Then we got a follow-up in eleventh grade but for some reason that was more about love and choosing the right time to become a responsible parent rather than the mechanical explanation two years earlier. We got the "three choices" when you become accidentally pregnant but no pressure towards any particular option.

But seriously... my three "abstinence only" cousins were all pregnant by 18 and now (in their late twenties) are trapped in retail jobs and endless baby-daddy drama.

The book sounds really interesting. Thanks for recommending it!

its great

my brother has worked at The Nation with her, trying to work out a hook up.....

You cooked heroin? Really?

http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2010/05/26/bristol-palin-harpers-bazaar-pregnant-sarah-palin/

I was never taught about sex by my parents. I learned about it in the traditional way (at the time) - locker room talk.

It was obviously a different era then, but nowadays, I believe it's irresponsible for parents NOT to teach their kids about it.

I tried very hard to teach my kids that sex had more value and was just plain better with someone you love, but I also emphasized that I recognized they are human beings, and things can happen. If/when they do, they need to be responsible and prepared. I SO wish my parents had bothered to have that conversation with me.

On a slightly lighter note, that does remind me of my first wedding reception. There I was, a 23 year old who thought I was ready to be an adult. My Dad, who was a little tipsy at the time, said (I will assume in jest), "I guess it's time we had that talk."

I replied, "I guess so, What do you want to know?"

you know, I could probably teach my folks something , but I won't....lol

I am thankful for my dad being so open and honest.

still, what I was not taught in school hurt me and many other people my age.

in one state in the 7th grade and another in the 6th. Due to my fathers persuit of higher education, we happened to live in the 7th grade state when i was in 6th grade, and the 6th grade state when I was in 7th.

But bathroom vending machines were plentiful, and my dad had a big brown softcover book titled something along the lines of "men" that went through every aspect of male health in painstaking detail. From the sex to hygiene to basic and moderately advanced anatomy to aging from infancy through elder and death. And I happen to be a reader. My father also had a saying "keep it in your pants" which was reinforced by a lot of personally familiar examples of people who unintentionally had kids. STDs or shame was never the issue, it was "do you want to risk having a kid?"

That along with a talk about how a relative had managed to have a kid even after having his valves tied off, and whenever I got to that point, I should really make them check for a backroads extra just to make sure, kinda did for my sex ed.

female reproductive anatomy. I asked the instructor how on earth you were supposed to get a sponge in and out of there. The rest of the class ridiculed me, but she showed me anyway. (I never did use one, but was just curious.)

I do remember being warned that no protection was completely fool-proof against pregnancy or HIV, and that zero sex was an option.

Don't recall anything about how nice sex is. LOL It was all just a very clinical school sex ed class, and parents had the option of signing a slip to excuse their kids from class if they had objections.

interesting

possibly living with HIV for many years thanks to modern meds, but back then it was regarded as a death sentence. (It still is now, but not like it was in the 80s) We had a man named Tom who used to come to my college to speak out for AIDS awareness in the early 90s. He had lived with HIV for a decade at that point and was regarded as a walking miracle.

What passes for Sex Ed in many places these days sounds to me like the dark ages, whereas the classes I attended were the Enlightenment. No screwy religious messages. No foolish idea that telling kids not to have sex would somehow how magically keep them from doing it. I grieve for the state of education today. The RW crazies are tearing it apart. :(

I graduated from high school in the early seventies and there was nothing. The "health" classes we had were mainly warnings about drugs. But nothing about sex. Nothing from my parents either. My mother handed me a booklet and kit that she got from Kotex explaining menstruation. That was it.

(amongst other sources) pretty much clued me in on the mechanics and variations as a preteen and teen.

actually figuring out how to attract the opposite sex to put this knowledge was a whole nother obstacle. :P

As part of our Health class we had Sex Ed, IIRC we also went over drugs, alcohol, I'm pretty sure it was half a term or less but more than a week.

I don't recall if condom use was demonstrated or not, but both the material and our instructor were pretty good in not telling us stupid shit like just don't do it. I recall the instructor suggesting we masturbate as the only we could learn what we liked with regards to sex was to experiment with ourselves and doing it was natural. She also told us to always use condoms as it was the only way to be sure we protect ourselves, the bit about even if you have been safe you can't be sure your partner hasn't caught something from someone else. The disfigured and rotting genitals were used by our teacher to push us to protect ourselves, lest we fall victim to such horrors, all in all I think I got an excellent teacher if not education from the course.

Oh, up to then I had seen condoms in the street and on the polluted beach front, I don't recall what age I figured out what they were but I knew enough to never touch them.

This was in a city of around 40,000 mixed ethnicity, primarily Latino and Anglo

that such a "good'' school system as the one I attended had such poor sex ed

parents didnt talk to me. i was fine with that. more than enough information out there to know what was up and learning along the way worked for me the best.

i talk to my boys, a lot. the subject is around so much. they start young in the schools and it is every year.