If you are a virgin, what are you waiting for?

- OR -
If you were a virgin for a long time (say past 23yrs old), what were you waiting on?

I'm really curious... I'm not trying to pick on the virgins. I really want to know why people wait.

until I read some of the "I was a virgin until I was X years old" threads.

I really thought there was something wrong with me. I had heard that there were women who would sleep with anyone, but I never seemed to be able to meet any of them. :D Well, after losing my virginity, I decided that good things were worth waiting for. Oddly enough, I never had any trouble after that.

He was a bit of a nerdwin and a VERY late bloomer.
His best friend in school got more booty than J.Lo.
My poor hubby always had to listen to the weeping of the girls his best friend had used and thrown away.

And I was the one. It just happened that way. It isn't like we were in a serious relationship yet I didn't know that he was a virgin at the time although he really seemed to not whay he was doing so I took charge (This is starting to sound like a Penthouse letter.).
He doesn't lok it but he was a mega geek and also very respectful of women. His girlfriend in high school didn't want to do anything physical. His freshman year of college, he hung out with some girls and asked two of them out of seperate occaisions but got told that we was too nice.
It's a good thing that I made the first move or we would have probably just been friends.

:evilgrin:

and has been married twice so I doubt thats true.

...When there is a woman in Dallas ready to take care of you!

when most had indulged. I don't think it's always a matter of 'waiting.'

At least two suffered extreme, almost clinical levels of shyness or social anxiety that prevented their getting sufficiently close to an attractive, interested individual.

At the time, I had no idea why I did. I got intense pressure from my entire social circle to explain and it probably made me more resistant. It just never felt right. I did have 'opportunities' and most of my friends were very sexually active. I now have no regrets. I made the right decision for me.

I mean, even if you wait until you're 30, you've still got 40 to 50 years to not be a virgin.

To me sex is just a physical act (an extremely pleasurable physical act, but just one little thing really) and so I figured I could wait.

I am glad I did wait. It means that I didn't make mistakes that my peers did in their youth by getting overexcited and having unprotected sex, thus having children, getting STDs etc.

I also don't want to have sex with someone just to have sex, I want to establish a relationship first. That hasn't happened for me yet.

I know you're not picking on anyone.

You will not regret waiting for these reasons.

I'm a man who only has sex within the confines of a relationship. There are some people out here who don't believe in sex for sex's sake.

I was fairly young when I lost it and it only happened a few times, but I realized I wasn't ready for the potential risks involved yet, so I went for over three years before I did it again. It was probably harder than if I remained a virgin because I actually did enjoy it and remember feeling chronically frustrated those three years. I even had a somewhat serious relationship during that time and came close, but then he wasn't ready which made things even more complex.
If I had to do it over again, I'd wait longer and then also wait longer until I chose to settle down as well.

I had an active social and dating life but most of my dating relationships never got to the point where sex was on the table as an option, I never had a friend who offered "benefits" (at least to me :o) ) and I really didn't relish the first time being wasted on a drunken hookup at a bar or a party.

When it happened, it happened and it was a situation where I was able to respect myself in the morning and not have any regrets.

It might be a few years before I find someone to do it with. I am also not a big fan of sexual abstinence so that is not going to stop me.

and i made the neighborhood boys forget they weren't gettin any from girls -- for a minute.

A few years past, in fact...

I don't feel bad about it in the sense of "missing out" on anything, but I do feel sort of guilty sometimes, because there were two, maybe three, young women whose feelings I hurt pretty bad because I wasn't "ready," whatever that means, and I wasn't able to explain myself to them.

I'd be lying if I said I avoided sex out of any deep religious conviction. "Virginity" and "purity" have never been on my radar.

I was extremely shy and distrustful of people, but that's not the reason either.

Maybe I was afraid of losing control of myself, in the same way some people fear drugs, you know, the ones who think if you smoke a joint today you'll very soon be covered with "spider bites" and leaning against a vomit covered toilet in a bad part of town looking for a good vein.

When I met my wife all my anxieties about sex went right out the window. We joke about it being True Love, but maybe that's what happens if you are lucky and the time is exactly right.

I'm not waiting. I'm 15. And haven't had the luck. I keep praying I'll lose my virginity before I die. Situation seems pretty fuckin grim.

You have plenty of time. I lost my virginity when I was 15 and yes it was fun, but emotionally I probably wasn't ready. I am not saying that you are too young to have sex. I am saying there is no reason to feel bad about not having sex at your age and that it really shouldn't be one of your main focuses. Even if you don't lose it in high school, college and the outside world offer many more oppurtunities.

I'm a 23 year old guy. Maybe this seems strange, but I really don't feel any urgent need to get involve in a relationship or date for the sake of dating.

If I meet someone I really like, then who knows? But I really don't see much point to sex outside a committed relationship.

Sex without the affection and trust isn't worth it. I just don't hear that from men under the age of 30 very often (I assumed most of you are brainwashed by pornography, beer commercials, macho hormones, etc.) Good for you. :-)

Wish there were more like ya! :)

In high school I was an awkward kid. Didn't date much, as most teenage boys weren't interested in a tall, outspoken girl. I had an opportunity to give it up, but decided not to because the guy was an asshole. (He ended up dumping me when I wouldn't sleep with him.)

Then I went to a women's college -- where the opportunities were pretty limited, unless I wanted to date women.

And after college, it took a while to find the right man. But I'm not sorry I waited till I was in a healthy relationship. Casual sex wasn't my style -- if others want to do so, feel free, but it wasn't for me.

I'm now happily married, and I don't really feel like I missed much by being a virgin for a while.

Why did I wait? Couple of reasons -- first, of course, is that I hadn't met the man I wanted to have sex with.

Thanks to my mother, I was very well educated about both the risks and rewards of sexual intercourse. I knew it meant a great deal of responsibility (I did NOT want to get pregnant), so I didn't go looking for it. I also had 3 older brothers, so the opposite sex was no mystery to me. I was also very busy with sports activities. After work I played on several softball and volleyball teams, so I didn't have alot of free time.

When I found the man I (at that time) thought I wanted to spend my life with, I gave him my virginity. I was almost 25 at the time and I don't regret that I waited so long.

My regret now is that I haven't had sex in a long long time! :-)

and I can say that I'm too busy to sustain the type of relationship that would lead to sex. I didn't date in HS, cuz the guys were very uninteresting. I'm in college right now, and have to much going on to complicate my life with sex. And I don't have the temprament to have one night stands.

Finding a girl who'd go with me is what I'm waiting for.

Situation is not looking good. At all.

Very cute too. :)

I'm willing to give mine up now...just waiting for the girl. :evilgrin: I'm a pro at everything else, though. :) :evilgrin:

Hint: *cough*SICK OF WAITING*cough* I'm not just gonna give it to any girl, though.

as it is the crux of all suffering and death! so far, so good. though i suspect i owe my chastity less to any act of will than to a supremely UGLY FACE

still and all, i think stoicism is a triumph over life . . . over the world