True and total happiness

I don't have statistics, but I like to think (some would argue that I don't do that at all). And I've thought about some of the people I've known through the years, and have come to a conclusion, which might be as far away as Alpha Centauri.

Everyone has had happiness at one or more times in their lives. But I know for many of us that it is never perfect and never permanent.

I know for some of us it's been a lifetime search to "follow our bliss" and while we hope to reach it someday, we know it's not guaranteed or is more likely impermanent.

There are people I know who don't care--who are content with their lot in life, who have no ambitions, no desire to move up in the world. Whether these people have found their version of lifelong happiness, I don't know. But I've known some who are among the most intellectually challenged people in the world.

This is not a critique of those who weren't born with the high IQs in the crowd. Hell, my brother suffered brain damage when he was 17, and has the mental capacity of a 5 year old, at the age of 51. His idea of bliss is to watch sitcoms all day--and he doesn't seem to have any problem with that. A person I knew for many years stayed in a file clerk position for almost 40 years. Another friend stayed in a low paying position for over 30 years, with no plans to change her lot in life. But none of them went into a deep discussion on any sober topic, except as it pertained to daily news items.

So my question is, are those people who have no curiosity about so many things, who fall on the front end of the bell curve simply more able to shut out the distractions of life, and remain more content? Or am I missing something more fundmental?

I have always thought there had to be more than one way to look at our existence and find more ways to achieve richness and fullness in our worlds, but it was only my own eyes looking at the world. So I have zero on this only as a single observer. Unless there is more than anectdotal evidence on it, I really don't have an answer, so I might be far, far off.

but I took Joseph Cambell's advice early on and followed my bliss and have had a fun adventurous life so far, am blissed-out positive happy all the time, and if I die tomorrow it's been a fantastic ride. But I really don't want to die tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a blast. Life is a beautiful wonderful gift and I can't wait to see what's around the bend.

Being "content" seems like it would be kind of boring for me, because passion and change are key elements to my joy in life.

I am probably the complete opposite of the people you described in your OP, but if they are doing what they really want to do, good for them.

But I know that that kind of life would be a living hell for me.

You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like to travel;
Get tired of travelin' and you want to settle down.
I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin',
Get out of the door and light out and look all around

(from Truckin' by the Grateful Dead)

I've noticed that the higher the IQ, the less happy a person is. I think maybe it's because they're more aware of how the world really is and know it sucks. It seems as though that those with lower IQs are much happier because they don't know what's really going on with the world.

I got a 1200 on my GRE and I'm going into grad school in the fall (yeah, I know, that's not an indicator of IQ), and I'm miserable as hell.

You're supposed to be miserable.., but buck up, the professor that is about to enslave you will make you feel worst..:evilgrin:

I'm going in on a graduate assistantship so it's going to be a blast.

no matter how intelligent a person may think they are,

they don't really "know" anything.

But for myself, I believe that I can choose between being miserable, or I can choose to be happy.

No matter how much drama someone tries to inflict in my life, they can only effect my mental, emotional, and psychological state if I choose to allow them to.

It's simple. I choose to be happy, and I genuinely always am happy.

This takes practice, because most of us, beginning at a very early age, are conditioned to believe that we have no choice about how we feel.

So don't worry too much; you may be miserable and unhappy now, but you obviously are intelligent enough to figure it out for yourself in time.

Hang in there!
:hug:
But: if you think that because you are smart that it will make you miserable, it most likely will make you miserable.

And that's, well, not really all that smart.

(I wasn't always happy back when I was in college either)

peace

people always want more no matter what they have. I do know several working class people and underachievers who are capable of deep discussions. Just because someone mows lawns or does menial office work doesn't mean they are not smart,insightful and aware of the world around them. There's only so much you can do. Don't let things beyond your control ruin your happiness.

So liked the middle management job at grocery store, and for a long time the authoritarian bent did not reach down to that level. But in the last few years they started those programs and many others in many places.

long story.


Although Freight Crew at night was interesting also, listening to music all night, while throwing freight.
Lots to think about, and I was really fast freight thrower, good worker, if I say so myself.



Although there is a happiness delusion. It goes like this, you can't do this or that, becuase it causes you anxiety, and if it causes anxiety it is not peace, and you should be in perfect happiness.

The delusion is that the thing that wants to control what you do, will put the anxiety on you, or try to frustrate you to then be able to throw that delusion on you that you can't be somewhere becuase of anxiety, to try and get you to accept something you should not.

And I know it is a delusion from the frustration of something that does not like my choices to be who I want to be, or that I have choices.

It is in this Doctor Who episode also, where he tells the Cybermen that part of being human is not being perfect, that there is also challenges and some strife, again the concept of not needing perfect security at the cost of all experiences.




Or in other words, I am due beer and travel money, and that is known, and will be sent.

First, I am a psychoanalyst, so I've spent about forever studying and thinking about and experiencing the interstices of thought, emotion, sense of self and belonging, and myriad other things that give us a sense of wellbeing. Here are a few things I believe.

People naturally must be attached to one another. It's how the infant and parent form the basis for all human relationships. But in my experience immense problems arise when one becomes too attached to an outcome or a way of seeing or believing (the Buddhist belief), often that have been held onto from a time when they were appropriate. Those attachemnts are usually designed to protect us from fear and uncertainty about who we are and whether we are cared for, and we hold onto whatever our defenses may be as though we would die without them...but we wouldn't.

What we would do if we weren't afraid is change, and anything that doesn't change becomes a prison that we can neither think nor feel our way out of (in Buddhist vernacular the Dharma Wheel). And then we become miserable because something vital in us has died. We desperately try to do all kinds of things that wouldn't solve the problem because it's so frightening to face it head on. That fear, of course, comes from somewhere else but we've become attached to it and can't give it up any more than a child can look under the bed to be sure the monster isn't there.

Drive makes us ambitious from the outset...anyone who's seen the manic learning of a toddler recognizes this. Some have more than others and inherently sit back and absorb things more slowly. Some, sadly, have it destroyed by traumatic interactions with important people early on. It's generally not IQ but personality style. (Measurement of IQ btw is an outdated measure of a tiny part of psychological makeup and people with high IQ can be every bit as incapable of achievement as those who are far further down on the scale).

Well, this could get too complex to be interesting here but I do believe that people search out of either restlessness or unhappiness, either to go toward some ineffable something or to get away from something painful, and so it can go both ways. People can be happily attached and range out from tht sense of open curiosity and joy, anxious and need to keep looking for something that makes sense and maes them feel secure, or are simply secure and don't want to leave whatever state they're in. And of course it's way more complicated that that, and we're all still trying to figure it out. And frankly, I love that about life.