Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars

A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.
Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference." (cont.)


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html

oh never mind, I don't want to know.

ETA - it will bow be hard- I mean difficult - to look at cars the same way again.

"Backdoor Junkyard 2" in 3-D.

but it could be mighty hot Yeahh,baby!

That could smart.

That is, where do you, um, put the parts? Do you sidle up to the car of your dreams, seductively lift up her gas cap cover, slowly and gently unscrew the cap, and then...

:eyes:

Of course on a cold morning you might have trouble turning it over.

This would be fucking hilarious if it were not so twisted. There are actual text "pictures" informing one how to measure your male member in order that it properly fit into a tailpipe!

Oh, and let's not forget that you never have sex with a tailpipe WHEN THE ENGINE IS ON! :rofl:

Link: http://www.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq

motorfucker.

is now ruined for me.

:spank:
Bad dimbear!

Shame Ford dropped the model, otherwise the term Escort Service could carry a whole new meaning...


:shrug:



Laura

don't assume it's just a mechanic changing the oil.

Sometimes cars like to be "tops."

never mind

LOL I don't wanna know....what would be the official clinical psychiatric name for this ???!!!

well, I guess if it is his thing, he is not harming anyone, what-ever revs his engine, but how wierd is this??!!

Maybe fetishism?

mechanophilia. This is the closest I can come up with for this weirdo's car fetish.

:spray: :thumbsup:

:thumbsup:

It seems a tad strange to me, but he's not hurting anyone, so whatever gets his rocks off!

I remember that their ship got Space Herpes


It's only a matter of time for people to have to check their cars after allowing someone to borrows it.

But 1,000? The man's a slut.

:hide:

This reminds me of one scene in it: right after the mental patients agree to help Dudley Moore create ads, Daryl Hannah takes Mr. Moore to a tent out back where everyone else is drawing car ads. There's one guy who, before he became an Ad Man, only talked about Saabs. Someone looked at this guy's board and...

"What, are you crazy? You can not have sex with a Saab."

'I didn't say it was possible. Just that it would be interesting.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQTu9vx-laY

:)

Or, at the very least, a serious case of cabs.

Worst time ever to try out STD jokes, I guess.

Such a talented band.

But this is ridiculous!

know! Can you imagine your reaction if you found some creep molesting your car?

When you have sex with a car.. you're having sex with every car that car has ever had sex with....

Though I did rub up against an Aston Martin once... but only for a second. :P

:puke:

"Rear-end dope".

Infidelity is what set off Christine. Her lover came home with that new car smell.

:)

while he's gettin' it on with his Subaru.

:rofl:

But I DO understand fully where he is coming from...

Queen - I'm In Love With My Car

The machine of a dream
Such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin'
And the hub caps all gleam

When I'm holdin' your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When my hand's on your grease gun
Oh it's like a disease son

I'm in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal

Told my girl I'll have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks sayin'
This is the end now
Cars don't talk back
They're just four wheeled friends now

When I'm holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When I'm cruisin' in overdrive
Don't have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive

I'm in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
I'm in love with my car
String back gloves in my automolove

but 100 of them climbed out and chased him off. Police ID'd him through the specific pie filling clowns use.

:rofl:


Baby you can drive my car
Guess you're gonna be a star

I like a good steak, tequila & a beer chaser. To each their own, I guess. :)

Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live
In cars

Here in my car
I can only receive
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days
In cars

Here in my car
Where the image breaks down
Will you visit me please?
If I open my door
In cars

Here in my car
I know I've started to think
About leaving tonight
Although nothing seems right
In cars