Post a joke only a child would find amusing....

If April showers bring May flowers what do Mayflowers bring?

Pilgrims!

I'd buy a new butt because mine has a crack in it.

Top half says, "I'm going to Africa. What are you going to do?"

Bottom half says, "Pffft!" ('cause that's how they talk).

SUPER PICKLE!

Put a little boogie in it. :)

Who's there?

Nobody.

Nobody who?

Chicken butt.

A Walk.


First joke I taught my niece 35 years ago

I EAT MOP.


:rofl:












(Actually, I still think this one is funny.)

:rofl:

Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting co-
MOO!

:)

Because he was looking for Pooh.

My son told me that one when he was about 5

A monkey with a gun.

(My little sister's first made-up joke. She's now 47 and still thinks it's funny.)

Y.
because I want to know
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what do you do when your nose goes on strike?...
pick..it

Ground beef!

Lean beef.

snow flakes

How do you fix a broken tuba?


















With a Tube ah glue.


(tube of glue)

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

dam.

:rofl:

When it's a jar! (ajar)

what are you while you're in the bathroom?

European! (you're a peein')

They're just at the age when they understand how a joke works in terms of delivery, just the punchline tends to be a bit off, usually on the surreal side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was a chicken.
Because it was across.
Because it road there. (rowed??)
MOOO!!!! (punchline from a different joke, see above)

A Canadian folk singer (whose name I've temporarily forgotten) during a break at one of her concerts, told a shaggy dog story about life on tour in various cities, detailing adventures with faulty equipment, insane groupies, ending up on a wild ride through downtown Toronto where she spotted a chicken crossing the Spadina freeway. Raising her eyes to the heavens, she bellowed "for the love of God, whyyyyyyy?!?"

Jonny went in to the bakers & asked for a loaf of bread.
Baker; "White or brown"
Jonny; "It doesn't matter, I'm on my bike."

..or IDGI :shrug:

Because 7 8 9
:rofl:

How to get to Heaven from Scotland ...

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday
School class to see if they understood the
concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
Car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
Money to the church, would that get me
Into heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
The garden and kept everything tidy, would
That get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was 'No!'

By now I was starting to smile.
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
Gave sweeties to all the children, and
Loved my husband, would that get me
Into heaven?"
Again, they all answered 'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted,


"Yuv goat tae be fukin' deid"


Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir e'e....

This made me laugh heartily !!

I love it.

Thank you.

aA

:rofl:

An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Cut his stampeder off.

Because the Tuscaloosa.

DR. "I know what your problem is your two tents"

A white square. :P

Because it ran out of juice! :D

*Who's there?*

Stop kidding around and open the stupid door!

A seasick Uncle Sam.

On my honor, my 7 YO came out with this joke JUST as I started reading this thread! :rofl:

Because it didn't have the guts! :D

So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate.

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Carrots.

:)

I really wanted to read them for myself. I don't even know any kids.

:thumbsup:

As best as I can remember it, that is.

A cajun man wins the lottery.

He decides to build a mansion that must have the one thing he's wanted all his life: a halo statue.

So he tells his architect what he wants & the architect hires a talented sculpter to create it.  Weeks go by & the cajun checks on the progress.  The sculptor proudly  unveils a beautiful statue of a glistening gold-plated halo.

The cajun is shaking his head, clearly disappointed.  "Naw, that ain't right."

The sculptor said he'd make another one.  After a few weeks, the sculptor finished the fine statue: a beautiful angel with gorgeous wings & a halo on top of the angel's head.

"No, no, no," the cajun said, "I want one of those things that rings & I say, 'Hello, 'sdatchoo?'"

A pool table.

(Thank you "Two and a Half Men")

The judge asks the man why he's divorcing his wife of 15 years.

"Well, your Honor, for the past 12 years my wife has thought she's a chicken. She walks around clucking and scratching the ground with her foot. It's very embarrassing."

The Judge says, "Well, sir, why have you waited 12 years to divorce her? That's a long time to put up with such behavior."

The man answers, "To be honest, we needed the eggs."

A Roamin' Catholic.

Because the spider spied her.

When my brother was about four, he told that joke to everyone he met, and then laughed hysterically. I was glad when he finally got over it.

His butt.



*rimshot*


Although I personally find this one pretty funny :D

Because people are DYING to get in!

Had a knot on his head for three days. :P

:P

The one on the range!

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Frog in a blender,


Have no idea why but that cracked me up for years.