Paula Zahn - And An Old Chestnut of a 'Cello Joke

Did any of you know that Paula Zahn is a moderately accomplished 'cellist? I saw a piece on 20/20 or something about her once. Seems she even played a solo at Carnegie Hall.

That reminded me of an old chestnut of a story from the classical music archives, which I repeat here for the benefit of DUers who haven't heard it in their travels:

Sir Thomas Beecham was heir to the Beecham Pills fortune in England. He was also one of the great conductors of the 20th century, founding numerous orchestras in England. He was known for his brilliant interpretations, natural music making...and his rapier-sharp wit.

His rehearsals were legendary. Sir Thomas was famous for playing a piece through only ONCE from start to end, going back to correct or improve a few bars here and there, and allowing the magic to come together during the performance. On one occasion, he teamed up to play the Brahms Second Symphony with his Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. "Gentlemen," said Sir T, "we all know this piece very well. I don't see any reason to waste our time with rehearsal. I'll see you at the concert where we'll do our usual good job." A hand arose from the second chair clarinet. "Excuse me, Maestro," came the timid voice, "but I have never played this piece." "Don't worry," rejoined Sir T, "you're going to LOVE it!"

Anyway, back to the Paula Zahn connection. The story goes that Sir T was in rehearsal for an upcoming concert that featured one of his specialties, The William Tell Overture. The Overture - which is best known for it's final section, aka The Theme from The Lone Ranger - begins with an extended solo for the 'cello. On this occasion, he discovered to his dismay that the lady entrusted with the opening 'cello solo was not only not up to snuff, she was actually quite bad.

Sir Thomas made various attempts and encouragements to lift her performance to an acceptable level, but his proddings only led to her playing being more and more wretched.

Finally, in total frustration and despair, Sir Thomas looked down on the poor soul and uttered one of his most-famous bon mots:

"Madame, between your legs you possess an instrument with which you could be pleasing millions. Yet, it seems that all you can do is sit there and scratch."

I want to thank Paula Zahn for reminding me of that story...

I thought Paula looked fethcing tonight without
her wig and with her hair all wind tossled and that
bad kind of orange dye job. I was getting kind
of itchey myself. She should get caught
in a power outtage more often.

I think Paula is at her best all done up in her Halloween regalia. It adds just the right, slightly surreal, touch to her blatant pandering for the Bush* Gang.