Elevator Ettiquette for all you dumbasses out there

When the elevator stops on your floor, pause for just a second or so to ensure that no one is trying to get off the elevator. Elevators should empty out first and then fill up again.

That is all.

:grr:

:rofl:

And here's one for escalators: Do NOT step off the moving escalator and then immediately STOP to look around in a bovine and confused manner. There are people BEHIND you and the escalator keeps moving! :grr:

Some people's kids, I tell yez.....

all because you were trying to get off the elevator and they couldn't rush in. :rofl:

Back when I was working at Nationwide, me and a few guys I worked with were coming back from lunch, us and about 6 or 7 others got on the elevator to go up. We were standing at the back and someone up front says "Do I smell lilac"? Without missing a beat, I said "Thats me, I have gas". There was complete silence and stillness for about 3 or 4 seconds and then everyone turned to look at me and then started cracking up :D Maybe you had to be there but... It was pretty funny at the time.

A woman who works in a hi-rise as part of the cleaning staff gets on in the garage level and rides to the lobby. A VERY stylishly dressed young woman wearing obviously too much perfume gets on, takes one look at our hero and says "Chanel # 5, $250 an ounce". The elevator goes up one floor to the mezzanine and another attractive woman gets on and she looks at the other two and says "Yves Saint Laurent, $300 an ounce". The doors close, goes up one more floor and yet another young trendsetter gets on. She looks over the other 3 and says "Givenchy. $450 an ounce".

Our hero pushes the button for 3 floors up. As the elevator decelerates, she lets out an enormous bit of wind. The doors open, she steps out and as they begin to close, she says "Broccoli. $1.39 a pound."

Hee hee

really weird stuff to freak out the person by the door.

:bounce:

The ones who roll their gargantuan hummer-like strollers so that the wheels are practically touching the door when it opens, and then they still try to overtake you---even after realizing you are trying to leave.

Doors open, I start to enter, clown sees it's not his floor IMMEDIATELY pushes the door button, doors close and squish me.
Doors re-open, I hold them open and scream at him "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW!!"
He ran.

I don't back up, and I'm not too shy to say "You can get on this car once you step aside and let me leave".

Didn't see Newt, Michele, Herman OR Ron Paul in there.

conveyance with a shared entrance/exit...

Before getting in, do make sure it is there.

A friend of my sister stepped into one...and it wasn't.

Yes, she died.

Always look first.

According to Emily Post, a gentleman always exits a vehicle first, so he can assist the ladies with their exit (take their hand, etc.) in true Sir Walter Raleigh fashion. An elevator is technically a vehicle.

But most ladies don't know that, and they look at you like a boor if you, as a true gentleman, exit the elevator first.

You're welcome.

Bake, a true Southern Gentleman