The Catalyptic Abyss of all CAPTIONS!!!

skip fox

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Fri Aug-15-03 11:51 AM
Original message

The Catalyptic Abyss of all CAPTIONS!!!

"And I don't know why people can't take advantage of the situation. Like they could learn brail or something, or get stuck in the elevator with a Scottish guy and learn the bagpipes or, if he falls alseep, see what's under his skirt. . . . WOW! . . . I mean, problems like this have a silver lining. Like maybe he wakes up and sees you peeking, then you just lick your lips and wink or something . . . and . . . oh, hell! . . . Karl's waving to me . . . Can't it wait? . . . Oh gee, I gotta go. . . Sorry guys."

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skypilot

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Fri Aug-15-03 11:58 AM
Response to Original message

1. Um, Uuhh...

...my penis can..uh.. answer that..uh.. question for you.

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leftist_rebel1569

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Fri Aug-15-03 11:59 AM
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2. yes...the answer is...uhh...

ummm....well...9/11! NEXT QUESTION!

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underpants

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Fri Aug-15-03 12:09 PM
Response to Original message

3. Hello and welcome the The Stardust hotel and casino

flashforward to 2005

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ILeft

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Fri Aug-15-03 12:12 PM
Response to Original message

4. "Hey, these new fuzzy remote blood-alcohol content devices...

...are great. I hated it when we actually had to touch him to get a reading!"

"Me too. OK, I've got a reading of .09... Dry Drunk One is good to go. Ladies and Gentlemen, the pResident...."

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Fenris

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Fri Aug-15-03 12:47 PM
Response to Original message

5. CAPTION: "Members of the White House cleaning staff

"dust off the wax statue of George W. Bush. Bush, who choked to death on a pretzel in 2001, was succeeded by this wax statue, which is considered to be much more lifelike than its predecessor. The wax Bush has been running the country for the the last two years, and is gearing up for his reelection campaign, which will most likely include campaign stops that are fully air-conditioned and out of direct sunlight."

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cosmicdot

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Fri Aug-15-03 01:11 PM
Response to Original message

6. W: I think we have a fat-cat's chance here in Orange County ...

... especially in corporate stronghold Irvine ... Chris Cox is doing an outstanding job of supporting my agenda in privatizing the United States from top to bottom; making the pie higher; and bringing our policy of fear to all parts of this great country and to the world as we crusade against terra as the script unfolds ... I don't have any comments about the recall because I don't recall having a friend name Ken Lay, and thanks for not bringing any of that up ... isn't it great not having to hear about enron day-in and day-out ...

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skip fox

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Fri Aug-15-03 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #6

8. sweet

:toast:

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Zuni

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Fri Aug-15-03 02:10 PM
Response to Original message

7. guys...

how long do you want me to stand here like this?

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skip fox

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Fri Aug-15-03 03:46 PM
Response to Original message

9. We sigh and wave farewell as daytime's captions

recede into memory, fade, and are swallowed whole
by time's insatiable appetite. Our small sadness
is soon assuaged by the lighting of lamps, a spring night,
and minds that wake, fire up vast circuitries
to bring themselves to diamond clarity
that they might inscribe new captions
on the abyss, the maw that outlasts life, a sweet
sign, at least, of man's faith and ever going forth.

:bounce:

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myomy

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Fri Aug-15-03 04:16 PM
Response to Original message

10. How did yall hear about this surprise press conference?

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Astarho

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Fri Aug-15-03 07:06 PM
Response to Original message

11. Can somebody give me a ride to the Oval office? I'm lost again.

I still can't get the hang of this place after two years.

REPORTER: Mr. President, it's been three years

BUSH: Really, Wow! I guess those drunken blackouts make the time fly!

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rucky

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Fri Aug-15-03 07:26 PM
Response to Original message

12. Thanks, interns...

...for making the mock press conference a success. I know I'm gonna do much better next time...if I ever call a real one again, heh-heh.... Okay...You can stop taking notes now...you're not really recording this, Jimmy? Are you?

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