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The Hayseed in Halcyon of all CAPTIONS!!! (Hip-deep in clover.)

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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:05 PM
Original message
The Hayseed in Halcyon of all CAPTIONS!!! (Hip-deep in clover.)
Edited on Fri Aug-15-03 12:06 PM by skip fox


W. is "thinking": "Hot country damn! Got the whole weekend, a dog, and a pickup truck, and my babe right beside me. Gonna watch some games, drown some worms, jerk off in the outhouse, tell some tall ones at the store, and take a couple naps. Wow, it times like this, man . . . well, . . . that human life was invented for. Gee . . . Hot damn!"
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. Why is everybody grinnin'
Dubya: My lap feels all nice and warm, just like last time I pissed myself (yesterday)
Barney: No, that was me.
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TioDiego Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. Ya see that Bastridge on my left?
Ya ought to smell his breath. It's a gas, gas, gas. Like drinkin' outta the toilet, man.
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chenGOD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:13 PM
Response to Original message
3. "George W. Bush...
..enjoying a day of burning cats with napalm."
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Fenris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
4. W. is "sprechin'":
"Alright, now I know those folks in Nude York and Canadia are sheissin' their pantaloons over this whole blackout thing. So I decided that, in light of recent events, I'm gonna create a new cabinet-level position. So, everyone, I'd like you to say howdy to the Secretary of Blackout Prevention, my dog, Barney. He smells, he shits an awful lot (mainly in the house), he humps everything that isn't covered in thorns, and he has a tendancy to vomit in our bed. But, goddammit, the dog can flip a lightswitch. Honest to God. A lightswitch. That makes him only a little less smart than me!"
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
5. How would you like to be the guy at the drive-thru window and see this
Edited on Fri Aug-15-03 12:45 PM by underpants
and realize that you could switch places and no one would notice.

ON EDIT-at least no one would notice in DC, at the Flippy Burger he'd be out onhis can before the first shift was over.
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Captain Absolut Donating Member (151 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
6. Ladies and Gentlemen
Meet my new economic advisor
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cosmicdot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
7. W: heheheh you camera folks are everywhere aren't you ...
Edited on Fri Aug-15-03 01:40 PM by cosmicdot
... just taking Barney for a little joy ride with the windows down in 100 + heat ... but, not to worry, we've got the AC blasting in here ... of course, we planned to take him back to the house ... although it's always fun to watch him crawl back begging for water ... it's how I learn about human behavior ... yeah, she's with us ... sitting right beside me ... the little woman can't come to the window right now ...

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cosmicdot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 01:45 PM
Response to Original message
8. Barney is thinking: hehehehe ... I've got that GD Spot locked up ...
teeheehee ... I'll have the Happy Meal pleeeze ... teeheehee ...
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
9. Barney says. "Know why I'm smilin'? I just shit in his lap."
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 03:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. The world revolves and time shifts zone to zone.
As some DU'ers turn their minds to house and home;
Others fire their hard-drives, and minds alight,
Seek shift to ride swift CAPTION'S flight.

:bounce:
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myomy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-15-03 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
11. These Òranch poniesÓ are hard to drive, ainÕt they Barney?
.
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