Well--I wasted a whole day. Yesterday, I read in multiple newspapers that "the White House had released a 25-page report" (some said 24 pages) titled,
Results in Iraq" 100 Days Toward Security and Freedom. Good news, I thought. Finally -- so much good news that it took a veritable manuscript to document it all. We would finally find out how the US occupying force was dealing with daily attacks on our soldiers -- what they were doing about the kidnappings and carjackings that terrify Baghdad denizens. I longed to know how we had solved Iraq's high unemployment, the lack of clean water and food, unreliable-to-no electricity, the dysfunctional school network...Could the administration have relented and gone to the United Nations for a resolution that would result in much-needed help from our allies? Or, better yet, maybe things were progressing so smoothly that some of our coalition troops were headed home...
This report was so important that it assumed an intimidating form and substance on its own merit. Reporters diligently attributed all remarks in their coverage to "the report." Mike Allen of the Washington Post wrote, "Only in isolated areas are there still attacks,
the report said." The venerable document even gave the media fodder for a headline as, "
The report quoted the unnamed prisoner as saying al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden turned to Iraq after concluding his group could not produce chemical or biological weapons on its own in Afghanistan."
Wow. It it any wonder that I was all ashiver with anticipation as I sought to claim Mr. Report for my very own? Problem was, although the docile media obediently trumpeted these unsubstantiated claims, not a single one questioned the veracity of Mr. Report or provided a link to him. Seems it was sufficient for those like you and me to take such announcements at face(less) value. After all, we were told repeatedly, reverently, it was a "White House" report.
But it was one that was literally "lost in space." I googled myself silly, checked out AP, Reuters, the Times, the Post, the Sydney Morning Herald -- and everything in-between -- even checked the White House website, to no avail. Finally, after rolling up my sleeves and reaching deep into the Google hole, I discovered that this treatise was prepared by the staffs of U.S. Iraqi administrator Paul Bremer and the White House Global Communications Office, and sent worldwide.
Ah. That explains it. It's not their fault. There's just something about Iraq and White House communications offices that turn those who get near them into comical "Baghdad Bobs" who helplessly bait and switch, lie and spin, run and hide...Mr. Report is nothing but an outline of what is hoped will happen -- a wish list of wanta-be's...
Mr. Report has 10 sections, each containing 10 items. Cute -- 100 days -- get it? Or, as President Bush announced at his press conference, "We been there a hunnerd days..." You know, 10 X 10 equals..oh well, never mind.
Most items are one-sentence declarations; none contain more than three or four sentences. Not a single claim is documented. The pdf file is 24 pages--a title page, index, Introduction, and the rest is devoted to each section taking up two pages, with the second page containing only a sentence or two. I printed it in eight pages...
To coin a phrase and to borrow the title of one of the best websites on the Internet -- like most things lurching out of this White House, Mr. Report is "all hat and no cattle..." At least, he's not the kind of guy with whom you'd want to spend an entire wasted day. Sheesh. Check it out for yourself at
http://www.whitehouse.gov/infocus/iraq/100days/introduction.html 
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