Teresa Heinz, I Love You

Teresa Heinz, I love you

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AS A POLITICAL cartoonist, one of the cardinal rules I'm supposed to follow is: Never schmooze with the people you draw. It makes sense.

Like the professional kidnapper who avoids connecting with his victims because he knows he may have to waste them later, I don't want to risk liking the people I sketch.

Until two months ago, when I asked Teresa to speak at the annual convention of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists' convention in Pittsburgh. Imagine being invited to address 100 cartoonists, pens poised to draw your caricature as you are about to talk. Most sane people do not respond to our speaking invitations with an emphatic "yes."

She said yes. I was beginning to like her.

I made the mistake of mentioning to Teresa that one of the VIPs who declined our invitation to speak was Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. She began her speech to the cartoonists by concocting a Rummy refusal letter.

"Dear Rob," she said. "We know what we know, which is that I would like to be there. But we know what we don't know, which is whether more pressing matters might arise. And we don't know what we don't know, which is whether I might leave you in the lurch. So given what we know and don't know, the answer is no. Sincerely, Rummy. P.S. Have you thought of inviting Teresa Heinz?"

She's self-deprecating and funny. I was liking her even more.

In my invitation letter, I joked that speaking to us would allow her to coach cartoonists on the proper way to draw her husband, Democratic presidential candidate Senator John Kerry. Teresa loved the idea and asked me to help.

"Here is a list of the top five things to remember when drawing my husband, John Kerry: Number one, when you think of our next Democratic president of the United States, remember, he does not have blond hair."

A cartoon of Hillary Clinton was then projected on a large screen.

She went on to explain that her husband should not be depicted as a groundhog, a basset hound, or coming out of a Heinz ketchup bottle, each time pointing to a cartoon example of what not to do. She encouraged us instead to remember Kerry's "dignified stature, his noble chin, his focused gaze, and his compassionate smile." In other words, "draw him like this":

An adoring, Mt. Rushmore-like sketch of John F. Kennedy appeared on the screen.

She had them eating out of her hand. I was falling in love.

And then came Cupid's final dart. She praised editorial cartooning as a "noble" profession "piercing the veil of smug self-certainty and righteous self-importance that often creep into public life. You can make us laugh, squirm, get angry. You can make us question, and you can make us think.

"Yes, use it wisely -- and ideally don't use it on my husband or me! -- but above all, use it. I know there is pressure on you as cartoonists just to go for the joke, just to be funny and not to offend.

"I have seen the alternative to a free press. Nothing should concern us more than when journalists feel they cannot express their doubts and speak their minds."

I don't think I will ever love another.

Will all this have a negative impact on my cartooning? Of course. John Kerry is no longer just another presidential candidate; he is the one standing between me and true happiness.

Sorry, Senator. Love makes cartoonists do crazy things. I don't care where you stand on prescription drugs for seniors or the war with Iraq. Either way, I'm drawing you as a toad.

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2003/08/21/teresa_heinz_i_love_you/

From the DU rules:

Don't post entire copyrighted articles. If you wish to reference an article, provide a brief excerpt and include a link to the original source. Generally, excerpts should not exceed three or four paragraphs.

But the guy writes in tiny paragraphs.

i posted this in gd, and it took a while to figure out what parts to post and leave out because of the small paragraphs. but the entire article was funny and really worth reading.

lol

Funnier than when I first read about it. They didn't mention the "Rummy letter."

if i didn't know before that teresa had written it, i could have easily believed rummy wrote it. she certainly pays attention. i just wonder what kind of conversations she has with john kerry and their discussions of the right wing, especially since she took on scaife.

n/t

He writes POETRY???

That in itself is hysterical!!

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As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.

We also know there are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.

But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know we don't know.

--

Needless to say,
The president is correct.
Whatever it was he said.

--

If you're chasing the chicken
Around the chickenyard
And you don't have him yet,
And the question is, how close are you?
The answer is, it's tough to characterize
Because there's lots of zigs and zags.

--

I'm working my way
Over to figuring out
How I won't answer.

--

Anything that I say
That I shouldn't have
Is off the record.
I want you to
Understand that
Right now, up front.

He has given Kerry material before.

I won't do it. I won't do it, I tell ya.

RISING
THE FRAY


"Rising" above "the fray."

n/t