Lunabush's Tuesday Bad Gungeon Joke

Ok, its true, right out of the gate today I have been bested. A worse joke than mine has been perpetuated. Damn. At best, all I can hope to do today is keep the bad joke tradition alive.

I will try harder next week.

In the meantime, a rehash of the rules:

1. Show your appreciation for my joke
2. Post one of your own
3. Explain the connection, however tenuous, to Justice and or Public Safety



J/PS connection, with a nod to consumer safety and the Ralph Nader we used to know and love - Bush* unsafe at any speed.

Here are a few campaign slogans that are perhaps closer to truth in advertising than the campaign would desire:

Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
Bush/Cheney '04: Because the truth just isn't good enough.
Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars!
Bush/Cheney '04: In your heart, you know they're technically correct.
Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism
Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not paying attention.
Bush/Cheney '04: The last vote you'll ever have to cast.
Bush/Cheney '04: Asses of Evil
Bush/Cheney '04: Don't think. Vote Bush!
Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!
Bush/Cheney '04: Deja-voodoo all over again!
Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no billionaire behind
Bush/Cheney '04: Lies and videotape but no sex!
Bush/Cheney '04: Or else.
Bush/Cheney '04: The economy's stupid!
Bush/Cheney '04: This time, elect us!
Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!
Bush/Cheney: 1984 Now
George W. Bush: Leadership without a doubt
George W. Bush: The buck stops Over There
George W. Bush: A brainwave away from the presidency
George W. Bush: It takes a village idiot
George W. Bush: Let them eat yellowcake! Vote Bush!
Vote Bush in '04: "I Has Incumbentory Advantitude"
Vote Bush in '04: "Because every vote counts -- for me!"
Vote Bush in '04: "Because I'm the President, that's why!"
Vote Bush in '04: Because dictatorship is easier.
Vote Bush in '04: It's a no-brainer!

Some of us have deadlines breathing down our necks. Oh yes, a ticking clock is just what we need, all right.

I was riding my bike down a hill in my city one night and two policemen stopped me at their speed trap. They asked me how fast I was going - 63 km - and congratulated me on the accuracy of my speedo. They then asked me why I was not driving a car and as I was a woman, wasn't it dangerous to be be out at night on a bike. I said I did not drive a car. They then asked me my occupation - I said "an economist". One of the policemen said "That's why she's riding a bike - she's economising".

You know ... cars are to bicycles as guns are to slingshots ...

.

Found in a paper of Anatol RAPOPORT (Scientific American, July 1967) who tells the following joke which he found in 'The Complete Strategist' by J. D. Williams:

"Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other policeman protests. 'While we're doodling,' he points out, 'he is making his getaway.'

'Relax,' says the game-theorist policeman. 'He's got to figure it out too, don't he?'"

Hahahaha! Those clever hoodlums we know and love.


Nooo ... of course not a better one than yours. Yours I sent to the co-vivant straightaway. Except I sent it to the wrong email address and it came back ...

.

your recognition of my great post is appreciated!

:silly:

'Let them eat yellowcake!'
:yourock:

Two guys decide to go hunting at a lake in the deep woods and they hire a pilot to fly them there. Plane has pontoons, so the pilot thinks "no problem."

They get to the lake, and the pilot says, "I don't know, that's an awfully small lake."

The hunters say, "Don't worry, we did this last year."

The pilot says, "I don't know, doesn't look like there's enough room.

The hunters say, "The guy last year said there was enough room."

The pilot says, "Okay....hang on!"

Plane hits the lake, skims across the water, up onto the shore, smacks into a tree. Totally wrecked.

One hunter turns to the other and says "Wow! What are the odds we'd survive a plane crash like that two years in a row?"

Probably because I'm somewhat of a redneck....

You Might be a redneck if.....

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering", then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "branding."

There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

The baptismal fountain is a #2 galvanized washtub.

The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) "Billy Bob's Barbecue."

The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.



B-)

for those of you who DO shoot....

http://www.dahlberg-it.com/eurosimulator/shooting.asp?Languages=engelsk

these are harder than they look....

B-)

Can't get another pilot, so they decide to take flying lessons themselves....

They get their licenses and decide to go hunting at a different lake...

They fly there, and the first hunter says to the second one, "That lake doesn't look long enough to land in..."
Second hunter says "I think I can make it."
First hunter says, "No it's too short"
Second hunter says, "I'm gonna try it."
The first hunter puts his hands over his eyes, and the second one lands the plane and just barely makes it. The pontoons run up on the other shore.
First hunter says, "I didn't think you could do it. That was one short lake."
And the second hunter says, "Yeah, but the sucker must be thirty miles wide."

A no-brainer indeed.

:toast: