Headhunters (James Wolcott)

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"The dainty stench of burnt envy drew me to the comments section of Little Green Footballs, where I found my reputation and personhood under mass grubworm assault. I don't know you've ever ventured into the subterranean underworld that is LGF's comments section, but it's sort of like a disorganized Nuremberg Rally, a lot of angry ruffians with nowhere to go lacking something better to do.

The catalyst for this impromptu rally was my clinical diagnosis of Daniel Pipes as "a patronizing little shit," which seemed to displease the footballers, not that any of them bothered to acquaint themselves with the causus belli (Pipes' pipsqueak character smear of Muhammed Ali). Then again, the poor dears don't seem to know the difference between an ocelot and an ocicat, another indictment of the limitations of home schooling.

This one sentence amid all that writhing distemper leapt out at me:

"May he be kidnapped by 'insurgents' in Iraq then appear on an ugly net broadcast. I wonder, if in the moment before the knife started sawing into his fleashy neck if he might rethink his opinions on the GWOT."
He later corrected the spelling to "fleshy," lest anyone think I possess a flashy neck.

This sentence leapt out not only because it was directed at yours truly but because it fits a pattern of measel spots I've discerned.

More and more the rightwing militant "anti-idiotarians" (as they deludedly think of themselves)have been relishing the prospect of antiwar figures undergoing the Daniel Pearl treatment. They keep bringing it up as the retribution that'll deliver certain choice heads on a platter. In a sick irony, Daniel Pearl's marytrdom has provided a negative inspiration to certain super patriots professing to fight for truth, justice, and the American way."

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He (she) who would take on Wolcott on the turf that is truly his alone (intelligent written word), is surely a fool. Of course we knew that of these "Morans," now didn't we? JW, could nail them with more intelligence, intellect, and eloquence from within the deep confines of a coma. Thankfully, he is not (within the deep confines of a coma). But, the resulting contest resembles that horrendous car crash that one sees coming from the rise in the highway-- miles away-- but can neither prevent, nor force oneself to look away from the carnage sure to result.

Maybe the politicians and pundits are, but the "Regular Joe" right wingers that most of us encounter in our daily lives, I think, simply reject the premise. They DON'T think we were right.<p>I get this "saw your head off" comeback pretty regularly on another forum where I spend my day arguing with wingnuts. There's no doubt that some of them are psycho and really wish if they can't do it themselves that SOMEONE would - but, for the most part they're just frustrated that I refuse to take their warnings seriously. That I'm not as "terrorized" as them.

I don't know if that makes any sense, so bear with me while I try to explain. First you've got to put yourself into a "freeper mindset" - it's not easy. (Try letting your eyes go unfocused and breathing through your mouth).

Now imagine that you're "Freeper Joe" and there's a vicious dog in your neighborhood that bites off the fingers of anyone who goes near it. Now imagine that you've long been suspicious of the mental faculties of your neighbor. She doesn't eat meat, she rides a bicycle and doesn't listen to Toby Keith. You tell her not to go outside cause the dog is going to "get her". She says it's okay - she's not going to be trapped in her home by some damn dog. You perceive that as meaning that she LIKES the dog. She's mocking your neighborly concern for her safety. The crazy vegan neighbor keeps going outside despite the dogs presence and your warnings. She SUPPORTS that dog! (in your head anyway) The neighbor even goes so far as calling animal control - she's APPEASING that dog. She wants to "Undestand" that dog more than she wants to protect herself (or you!)
In frustration, because she doesn't value your good advice, you (Freeper Joe) shout at your neighbor - "Go ahead, go get your fool fingers bit off - that'll teach you".

Freeper Joe thinks the neighbor won't listen to reason. He doesn't even know that it's HIS reasoning that is faulty.

I for one have no idea what makes these 'headhunters' tick.

I would hope that anyone reading it understands it, I hope that it's
not too subtle.

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"I gather that down in the orc pit of the comments section of Little Green Footballs (no link: I've donated them enough traffic), Charles Johnson's army of garbage-pickers has reached a rough consensus that I'm gay--or as my informant informed me, "Gay, gay, gay." True, my Brideshead Revisited scholarship is impeccable, my familiarity with the film work of Kay Francis intimate, my appreciation for the screen choreography of Robert Alton unbounded, and my devotion to Project Runway undeniable, so I can understand how they achieved this misapprehension, especially considering how few brain cells they have to rub together. But I'm afraid I must disappoint them: like Stanley Kurtz, Michael Medved, and Roger L. Simon, I am a practicing heterosexual, my practice hours posted on the bulletin board out in the hall."

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