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American President George W. Bush, who first rose to international prominence when he effected a non-violent coup d'etat to unseat duly elected US President Albert Gore of Tennessee, was today reported to be in what has become known as a 'hidey hole'. (The term was first coined by the American military after their alleged capture of Iraq President Saddam Hussain, a capture some report to have actually been made by a much smaller military force from a US partner in their unlawful invasion of Saddam's country.)
Mr. Bush is reportedly hiding for fear of having a confrontation with a woman who lost her son in Mr. Bush's war.
Mr. Bush has a long reputation of hiding to avoid difficult situations. His now famous absence from a branch of the American military during that country's (also illegal) invasion of Viet Nam was famously made an issue in the ShamCam (as the illusion of legal elections for US president in 2004 have now come to be known). Some of Mr. Bush's opposition called him a deserter and AWOL (absent with out leave, in military parlance).
His still (at least for the present) vocal opposition has found ironic humor in the notion of the leader of the strongest military in the history of mankind is being kept in hiding to avoid facing the woman who is, as of this writing, camped on his doorstep and calling him names.
Unnamed Bush insiders say there is no truth to the rumors that Mr. Bush has been seen laying on his stomach, crying, pounding his fists on the floor and kicking his feet wildly. Others, who also wish to remain anonymous, report that, in fact, such scenes have become commonplace when Bush is threatened.
North Korean strongman, Kim Il Jong, hiself the subject of some international derision, was said to be watching films of deceased rock and roll star Elvis Presley, intersperesed with clips of Mr. Bush's speeches. Jung quipped that Elvis makes his toes tap, but Bush just makes his hairpiece loose from laughing so hard. He is also reported to have called Mr. Bush a fuckwad.
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