To All Religious Nuts - Get A Hold Of Yourselves - Literally!

If you're a fan of progressive websites (and the fact that you're reading this shows you are, skippy) you've had what almost seems to be an over-exposure to right-wing religious evangelicals. Those of us who write about them on our respective sites appreciate the fact they consistently dish up warm steaming bowls of false piety and hypocrisy, sprinkled with a zesty topping of judgemental insanity. This community has provided us with somewhat of an easy fallback should we ever find it difficult to mine new material to keep ourselves amused. To that degree, we salute them.

However, after spending so much time analyzing these people, one can’t help but wonder why they think the way they do, especially when it comes to sex. Almost to a person, people who identify themselves as conservative evangelicals (or the Christian Right, Moral Majority, etc.) spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on the sexual behavior of others. They universally do so with a wagging finger and an angry tongue.

My contention is that most of them would be better served to leave other people alone and mind their own business. Furthermore, if they chose to use their fingers and tongues to enjoy themselves and others rather than condemning them, the world as a whole would be a much more tolerant and hospitable place.

I know that most of them don’t believe in evolution, but even if you embraced the concept of intelligent design, you’d have to think that it was God’s plan for us to enjoy ourselves and others. Biology and genetics have given us all the gift of finding the act of furthering the survival of our species to be enjoyable. If we weren’t predispositioned to enjoy the act of procreation, we would have gone the way of the dinosaur eons ago.

Speaking of dinosaurs, I think that most of them didn’t enjoy “getting’ it on Dino Style”, which proved to aid in their inevitable demise. Take the Tyrannosaurus Rex for example. His arms were far too short to even reach his “kingly dingly dangly”. No wonder he was so pissed off all the time! I know that I’d be pretty cranky too if I never had the option of “coming to grips with reality”, as it were. Plus, I bet it must have been really hard to make out with someone with all those fangs in your mouth – pretty unromantic.

But I digress – that’s a moot argument since the weirdly devout don’t believe in dinosaurs anyway. My general point is that there’s nothing dirty about having thoughts that lead to the creation of more of your species – it’s not just human nature, but the primary component of all nature.

I think that the problem with most of these people is that they tend to think that sex is unholy and dirty and wrong. Therefore, they have difficulty dealing with the inner conflict that results in suppressing the primary reason for their existence, which in genetic terms is to create more of us.

It’s one thing to think that a preoccupation with the pursuit of sweet, sweet nookie might be unhealthy, but it’s another thing altogether to suppress it entirely. The harder you squeeze your own urges, the more it leaks out between your fingers, so to speak. And when you stifle those urges due to feelings of guilt and shame, the more likely they are to spring back to the surface in abhorrent ways, often resulting in behavior that is detrimental to others.

You’ve likely noticed that most of the violence in the world emanates from societies that place an extremely high value on religious dogma. While most orthodox religions have their own processes and belief sets, they are almost universally condemning of sexual tolerance. I would contend that if these people just allowed themselves to get laid once in a while and not feel like they were doomed to suffer eternally as a result, then there would be a lot less war and suffering in the world.

After all, it’s hard to maintain a bad mood when you’re getting all kinds of “sweet hot lovins”.

So if you’re one of those people who thinks that there’s some kind of evil presence that exists in the form of normal sexual behavior between others, please don’t come knocking at my door. If you’re not sure which door is mine – I’ll give you a hint – it’s the one with the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the handle.

Failure to accept the existence of your own genetic nature will ensure that you will suffer the same fate as the dinosaurs – not that they ever existed of course.

very funny -- thanks for the giggle!
:)

You are a guy, aren't you?

okay, yep - I'm still a guy!

God bless these long arms for helping me to make sure (again). . . .

imagine if they were just paws on the end of your arms!

Think about all the normal people you know... the ones who AREN'T fundie neo-xtian buy-bull thumpers.
If they haven't had their ashes hauled lately, don't they get kinda cranky?
And doesn't ameliorating the situation improve moods, tempers, and general outlook immensely?
Seriously, a good lay can do wonders for your morale...
:spank:

of "evil" or "dirtiness" and just enjoy being with people (in the fleshy sense or otherwise), you instantly become more tolerant of different types of people.

Intolerance (especially when based on exclusionary religion) breeds fear and xenophobia.

Whereas smooching is just too much fun to pass up :loveya: