Giuliani's Phone Bit :George Jessel Lives!!!

This came to me after a fever dream before going to work. Do any of you remember the awful appearances of George Jessel, in his REALLY old age, when he showed up on variety shows?

He always had a telephone handset which would "ring" in the middle of the interview. "Hello, Mama?" he'd say. "Yes, I'm here on the wonderful Mike Douglas Show with Totie Fields. Yes, Mama, she's in perfect health..." and he'd natter on like that for minutes. (His Mama would have to be an Egyptian Mummy to be answering the phone...or maybe a golem or something.)

Then, he'd sing some kind of patriotic song about how America still believed in the ideals of George M. Cohen, usually with jet fighters and flags chroma-keyed in the background. He'd also call the New York Times and those college students a bunch of Communists and support the Vietnam War. Oh, did I mention that Jessel was dressed in a pseudo-American Army jacket festooned with ribbons?

It suddenly occurred to me that Giuliani is doing the exact same thing. Instead of wrapping himself in an Army uniform he wraps himself in the tattered flag from September 11, and instead of talking to Mama to assure the audience that he's good to his mother, he talks to his wife to assure the audience he's not a crossdressing Lothario.

"Yeah, boss? Uhm... there's a giant gorilla climbing past my window right now."