How to answer: "How do I becoming Illegal?"? I just got a classic load of pablum from a

cousin I thought better of. Anyone have any clever ideas on answers before I blast the hell out of her? (And probably end my relationship with her.)
Here is the text of the email.
It's an oldy, but not a goody:

Subject: Fwd: How do I Becoming Illegal ?







Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my
understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien
who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to
become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five
years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply
to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and
my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save
almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,
as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the
United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college
age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would
be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA


Any help from DUers welcome and in advance:
Thanks...
Poverlay

I agree with her letter entirely...

things are very frustrating. I scream and rant when I get cut off by some idiot who obviously doesn't have a driver's license, but at the same time I realize why they are doing it.(Not cutting me off, driving w/out a license.)

I wish life were easier too, but no illegal immigrant has an easier life than we do. The reason for taxes, free ER visits and the like is to take care of the least among us. I don't care what language those in need speak, or what side of an arbitrary line they come from. I've worked with hundreds of illegals throughout my career in the restaurant industry and they all paid taxes and SS that they would likely never benefit from. They were certainly not some sort of freeloader as this email makes them out to be.

I think these emails are horrid and counterproductive. At the very least they are spreading anger and intolerance, not to mention ignorance and hatred.


There, but for the grace of the almighty, go I ... and you.

being an ILLEGAL is a CHOICE. Too bad if you get caught. Try the same in Mexico and you'd be in PRISON on FEDERAL charges...

Sorry, NO sympathy for ILLEGALS. Why should THEY get to write off 3 out of 5 years of taxes and not US LEGAL citizens. I don't see it.

Has nothing to do with bigotry at all - that's a straw-man argument - it's about JUSTICE and FAIRNESS. Why should ILLEGALS benefit more than the average CITIZEN?!

Nice try, but the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of Americans - yes, even PROGRESSIBE DEMS, see thru the bullshit when it is thrown in our faces...

than an attack on the immigrants who are here illegally.

legal or illegal.

I'd go with that.

Extend index finger.

Hit DELETE button.

Place sender on Ignore/Junk Folder list.

Enjoy your day!

to be rather old and tired. It's been put out on a lot of RW sites with varying people sending it to varying Senators. The FR post urged others to plagiarize it.

I was surprised to see this article from a 'family values' type. She wrote:

During a deployment, last year, I was assigned to a small town outside of Atlanta. Because I was unable to find an RV campground with a vacancy, I stayed in a Hispanic trailer park for 2 months. At first, I was ignored, because I was the outcast in their society. I could not speak their language and they were suspicious of me even though I was a single female that posed no immediate danger. After a few days, the children overcame their fears because they were fascinated by my red hair, shiny RV and huge truck. The big break into their society came when I had telephone, Internet and cable TV installed in my RV. This opened the door for me to interact with their parents, as most of them don't have the everyday things we take for granted. Simple luxuries such as air conditioning, access to the Internet and the ability to pick up the phone to conduct business and talk to our loved ones is foreign to them. Forget calling 911 in case of an emergency (even if they had a phone) as this would bring them to the attention of authorities. Forget trips to the emergency room or doctor's offices and most social services are off limits, too.

The most devastating thing I witnessed during those 2 months was the miserable lives of the alien women. Their eyes are dull and lifeless and there is nothing to express their plight except...hopeless. Most of them get up at 4 AM to travel together, in old vans without heat or air, to a chicken slaughter-house factory an hour from their homes. They stand on their feet 10 hours a day, covered in blood, as they wring the necks of chickens, pluck feathers and cut up the pieces we buy in the grocery to feed our families. Then they huddle together for the long trip home, making it a 12 hour day spent traveling and working away from their children.

When they get home they must feed and bath their children, making do with what little they have. Because of exhaustion, they don't miss watching TV, reading, surfing the Net, talking on the phone, gardening, shopping, church, school activities, little league...all the things we take for granted. They live miserable lives, dominated by their men and shunned by society. Most suffer from domestic abuse and endure sexual harassment and rape, without any rights or recourse.

Bottom line...all those congressional benefits Constituents Iowa and Maryland covet are never used because the alien resident:
a) can't speak the language therefore, doesn't know about them. b) will never use them because they live their lives in constant fear of discovery, or c) they never climb out of the extreme poverty they are forced into and, d) they can't afford to participate in usage of the benefits or they will be found out and deported.






http://www.propeller.com/viewstory/2007/05/26/can-constituents-denounce-citizenship-and-become-illegal-aliens/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.associatedcontent.com%2Farticle%2F221639%2Fcan_we_denounce_citizenship_become.html&frame=true

reply. Instead I'll just "reply all" and cut and paste your story with a few tidbits from Jesus, Buddha, and some other "foreigners". Maybe someone will get it.
I didn't really want to cut all ties. So if I can instill a little guilt without offending too much, I might do more good than not...

Thanks Sinking

You think you are supporting migrant workers by defending the status quo? You think that exploitative employers who are looking for the absolute bottom line will respect the new immigration laws, when they don't respect the old labor laws?

How can compassionate people not see that they are making common cause with George Bush, ConAgra, and the US Chamber of Commerce on this issue? The very entities that desire more cheap, compliant "dead eyed" labor every year. The same entities that are claiming that despite the presence of 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants in this nation, they STILL don't have enough compliant laborers for their fields?

Can't you see you are playing into their hands?


:wtf:

education as possible, and break the cycle of proverty and exploitation that naming them 'illegal' brings! And you are incorrect that all 12 to 20 million immigrants are cheap laborers. There are millions of 'illegals' in America from Europe, Asia, and Canada, with excellent jobs and education, who have eiter entered the country illegally or over-stayed their visas. They are not migrant workers.

That's the logic bomb here: if you can't enforce existing labor law, there is no logical reason to believe you can enforce future labor laws.

So the default is that we return to "the jungle", with employers free to exploit workers in any way they see fit. That's what people who argue against enforcement of labor law are supporting.

Throughout our history immigrants, illegal, legal, and those who arrived before there were any laws, have received a hostile reception from those who preceded them. It did not matter whether they were Irish, Italian, Chinese, Eastern European, Hispanic or German.

Each group of immigrants proved to be productive members of society and the economy. Their succeeding generations were even more productive and made us the heterogeneous society that we are today. There is no reason to believe that current immigrants, illegal and otherwise, will not be as productive in the long run as have all of the others. Any compassion and assistance we can provide them to make this transition happen more quickly is a worthwhile endeavor.

Rounding them up and deporting them (or the "cheaper" suggestion of making live so miserable for them that they deport themselves) is not my idea of a liberal solution to the problem. I think Kennedy had a good idea with the immigration reform he proposed this summer.

Talk about strange bedfellows, or "if you lie down with dogs..."

like many at DU, Rush, Tancredo, the Minutemen, and almost all Freepers. Sometimes you have to choose your positions on issues based on your beliefs, as I'm sure you did and as I suspect Kennedy did, not just in opposition to your least favorite bad guy.

I understand that Kennedy felt he had to compromise issues like border security and temporary workers, in order to get the compassionate legalization of those already here that he considered to be a liberal approach to the problem.

Not those ILLEGALLY jumping in ahead of the line and not playing by the rules like the millions of LEGAL immigrants have had to...

Don't post such bullshit...

have both historically and currently received a hostile reception.

Since we seem to agree that hostility exists to immigrants regardless of their legality, which part of my post is bullshit?

he thought was a worthy one. If that means that you think Kennedy is a shill for agribusiness, too, at least I am in what I consider to be good company.

I would have been happier if the proposed immigration bill had not contained temporary worker provisions. IMHO, Kennedy would have been happier too, but didn't think that was politically possible and thought that the legalization provision was worth the compromise.

Would you have supported the bill if it had not contained the temporary worker (agribusiness) provision?

I'm not interested in having a serious discussion with you on this issue.

on immigration and those of RW bigots like Rush, Tancredo and the Minutemen.

I suppose if we can't get beyond accusations of shilling and bigotry, it is difficult to have a serious discussion.

I think there is an unanswerable case to be made for making legal immigration to the third world easier.

I think that any piece of legislation that gives someone who has immigrated illegally an advantage over someone who has tried to immigrate legally, or - as the one being parodied here appears to - over citizens is highly suspect.

Almost no-one (not "no-one" - there are a few people who flea unendurable persecution and get refused asylum - but only a very, very small fraction of illegal immigrants) ends up an illegal immigrant by accident, or because they can't help it.

You can't deport 10 million people. You can demand that they pay their taxes, though.

provoking anger that will be aimed at those who, legal or not, are only trying to find a better life. Like many of our forebears.

The desire for a better life does not justify breaking the law. I think that many liberals are too unwilling to support measures opposing illegal immigration; the excessive hostility of conservatives to immigrants of all stripes does not change that fact.

decency/morality? If not, why not?

Please expound. I just wrote about a page for you and then lost it. Must've lost 45 minutes! Aaarggh! Very frustrating. I've got to run right now. That's why I've only re-written the one question, but I'd love to continue this discussion. I believe there is more misunderstanding than outright disagreement here, and I'm learning a great deal through the thought processes this thread has piqued. I know the question seems simple on the surface, but the real life applications are, I believe, vital.

Be back a bit later.
Thanks,
Poverlay

"...Yesterday it was 'Strange are the whims of the strong,
Today it is 'Harsh is the Law, but it is certain".

I would rather live under (moderately) bad laws than under compassionate anarchy.

I think the moral imperative has to be fairly strong to justify breaking a law, and even when breaking a law was the right thing to do the lawbreaker should still generally receive at least the minimum punishment mandated under that law - I do not want people to be able to do something illegal and unpleasant to me and then get away with it because they have the sympathy of the legal system; I want to be able to rely on the protection of the law.

I think that the thing to do with a bad law is to change it, not to break it or to refrain from enforcing it (I think that one of the most compelling reasons for legalising things like cannabis and prostitution is that laws against them won't be enforced).

I do not think that making or enforcing a law saying "people cannot move to our country and work here without going through the correct channels" is a violation of common decency or morality.

I think that the strictness of the restrictions on legal immigration to America is immoral, but not sufficiently so or in a relevant way to be called a violation of common decency.

I don't think that it is either practical or moral to deport 10 million people; I think the solution is therefore to allow most of them to stay, and make them pay taxes, and to deport those who e.g. have significant criminal records or who refuse to register for legal status.

I do think that trying to make it harder for people to immigrate to the US illegally in future would be a good thing, but I don't think it should be one of the coutry's top priorities. But whether or not you believe immigration is good for the country, I think it's clear that illegal immigration isn't - illegal immigrants don't pay tax, and they provide a wonderful compost for organised crime to grow from.

goes: I agree with most of what you say. I just don't think this letter does anything other than spreading anger and hatred towards people who need help. They are not all criminals (Aside from not having their "papers".). Many of them do pay taxes.(Far more than chimpy mcCokespoon's corporate cronies) and if they were our families and friends we would never, ever allow the situation as it stands. The only reason our economy is doing as well as it is currently is due to the fact that immigration(and not just the legal ones) keeps it expanding. I haven't seen any letters thanking them for that.

Anyway,
Thanks for the chat. It has been far nicer than some of the personal attacks and painfully tortured logic I've been subjected to thus far.
Have a great day/week,
Poverlay

Let him see how the gravy train REALLY rolls.

So my ignore list feature kicks in.

his right to habeas corpus , because now they can toss him in jail indefinitely for simply being an "illegal" who ever even thought about spitting on a sidewalk anywhere. He has even less rights than Jose Padillo, so he may end up in a Tunisian prison being waterboarded, if the Dept of Homeland Security does not like his tone, so be sure to give up his right to free speech.

Give up his right to bear arms. Illegals don't get those either.

He has no right to the free expression of religion . If they do not like his religion, it is out of the country with him. That means if the immigration judge who hears his case only wants Baptists/Catholics/Mormons admitted to the country and he is not that, back home he goes. Too bad if home does not exist. He will rot in a federal detention center forever.

That should provide some food for thought.