Last night I sat in my car with God

He lives in a small apartment off of 5th on 86th st, but his Dominican illegal
housekeeper was "Fabreezing" the back bedroom. French houseguests had apparently
overstayed their welcome and spewed pomme frites and ketchup all over the bed while watching the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

So, anyway, we both had time to kill and we were talking about the election and he mentioned that if Dennis Kucinich wins he plans on sending a plague of locusts to attack Missouri.

Why Missouri?

"It's still a bellwether state isn't it," God mused, an almost rhetorical question, as he flipped the ashes from his joint out the window of my 87 Camry. "I've always
enjoyed fucking with bellwether states - they have this ungodly sense of self import."

Does God have something against Dennis Kucinich?

"Well, I usually like Vegans who marry up. But there's something about him that irritates me. He whines a lot and he kind of reminds me of Alan Keyes. If there's a presidential race, well... THERE he is."

God passed me the joint.

"Did you like my little Alan Keyes karmic moment?"

"You mean when you made his daughter a lesbian?"

God chuckles to Himself and stares out the window. "I crack myself up sometimes."

We sit in silence. God says, softly, "This whole '08 thing has your country in a frenzy. When are they ever going to learn?"

I looked at Him. "Who's going to win?"

He smiled. "This time.... the one who is supposed to."

"What, you trying to redeem yourself for George Bush?"

God outright laughs. "Everything goes in cycles, my son. Even the United States."

He glances at his watch. "Rosita should be done by now."

"Would you like me to drop you off?"

"No, I can walk it. Need the exercise."

God starts to climb out of the car.

I watch him, a little anxiously. "This election will turn out ok, won't it? I mean, I'm not going to have to move to Canada or anything?"

God leans back in the car. "Put it this way. I don't plan on having to really use those locusts."

As he grinned at me, I noticed something I'd never seen before. A little American flag pin on his robe, turned upside down.

"Goodnight," He said. And disappeared down 86th.

a delightful read after a day filled with more bashing than I thought possible.

K&R

Thanks a lot. I just bet that this is not the only smile you caused tonight.

n/t

From the usual insanity - thanks!

Wow, this is sweetly funny!

I loved it...

Thank you!

:)

everywhere on DU? Is is the new fad? Cause if it is, nobody told me about it! :shrug:

in a car, and that person is supposedly going to leave the country if hillary gets elected. the pro hillary cloud is lampooning it for all they're worth.

And considering that the OP called George McGovern senile when he endorsed Hillary her hatred of Hillary is so great, I think the whole thing can be rejected out of hand.

:applause:

This is one such rarity. :)

your forkness :)

The carriage held but just ourselves. And Immortality.

but I can still kick it!

:applause: