The Rude Pundit: Schumer Makes Sure We Get the Attorney General We Deserve

The saddest part about the Mukasey cave-in by Democrats was that it was so goddamned predictable. Democrats do their wittle dance o' outwage, stompin' their cute toddler feet on the ground, balling up their fists and declaring, "No way, no how," before finally shitting themselves and crying to be loved. The second some of the Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee voiced concern about Michael Mukasey for his inability to say if waterboarding is torture, we knew the way it was gonna go down. It's just fuckin' depressing, innit?

For extra-deep-oh-fuck-pass-the-loaded-Glock despair, read Chuck Schumer's rank justification of why he's giving Mukasey the thumbs-up in the New York Times today. Apparently, without Mukasey, "President Bush has said he would install an acting, caretaker attorney general who could serve for the rest of his term without the advice and consent of the Senate," and, apparently once this apparatchik is in there, the Senate can't do jackshit: "To accept such an unaccountable attorney general, I believe, would be to surrender the department to the extreme ideology of Vice President Dick Cheney and his chief of staff, David Addington."

In other words, once the rapist gets into the Catholic girl's school, he can just lock the doors, and the nuns and priests can do fuck-all while he unzips and wanders from room to room nailing the girls. Well, shit, at least the nuns can say a prayer that the girls aren't too horribly scarred by the ordeal. Schumer has consigned the Senate to bystander status, so he may as well give up now and at least have someone in there he can grab a beer with.

Apparently, Mukasey personally assured Schumer that he'd enforce any laws passed by Congress. And it speaks volumes about our America that Schumer would feel that it's a valid point in Mukasey's favor. One might think that enforcing the law is pretty much the basic function of the job of Attorney General. But as debased as the Justice Department has become, all of a sudden it's a noble quality in someone. These fuckers have lowered the bar so far down that moles tower above it.

So Mukasey's gonna get the go-ahead, and, as with Alberto Gonzales, John Roberts, and others, personal and public assurances made by them will amount to so much bullshit clogging the hearing rooms. Between Harry Reid pulling back his party's senators from filibustering Mukasey to the coming cave on war funding, Democrats are making the big mistake of not taking down the bullies and thugs who are destroying this village. We thought we were electing the Seven Samurai or at least the Three Amigos. Instead, we got a handful of Barney Fifes.

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