Ida and Me - An Actual Phone Call - Democratic Underground

asdjrocky

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Tue Jan-22-08 01:11 AM
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Ida and Me - An Actual Phone Call

Edited on Tue Jan-22-08 01:24 AM by asdjrocky

This is an actual phone call I had while phone banking for Edwards in Reno. The names have been changed to protect the drunken. Ida was a 66-year-old Dem who, well, had some issues.

“Hello?” A voice of some years, weathered by probably two packs a day. She sounded a bit annoyed, I was used to that by now, and maybe a little in the cups.

“Hello, May I speak to Ida please?”

“This is Ida.” Exactly what I was afraid of.

“Hi Ida. My name is Rocky and I’m a volunteer for the John Edwards campaign and I’m calling to remind-“

“The who?”

“The John Edwards campaign.” I was sorry I said that the second it was out of my mouth, I could have easily hung up the phone at any point before this, and I’m quite certain Ida would have slipped off to sleep, thinking it was all a dream. But no, I had to say John Edwards, not once, but twice. “And I’m just calling to remind you of the caucus tomorrow.”

“The caucus?” Ida was still confused. “The John Edwards caucus? What about the caucus?” Think Janis Joplin meets Betty Davis meets Bay Buchanan, but drunker.

“Yes Ida. I mean, no Ida. It’s the Democratic caucus, and I’m a volunteer for John Edwards. Do you plan on going to the caucus?”

There was a long pause, and I thought Ida might have drifted off, actually I kind of hoped that Ida had drifted off. I covered my other ear, and listened for steady breathing, the room was busy with the noise of other calls. At this point, I could have hung up the phone, slowly and silently. Like stealth, ninja phone banker, instead I said, “Ida?”

“And what about the sleeper cells?” The slurring was in full swing now, and her sudden question made me jump a little.

I honestly wasn’t sure what she was saying. It sounded to me, like she said “What about the sheep’s and snails?” There was nothing on my script to deal with sheep’s and snails. I checked and re-checked.

“Pardon?”

“Sleeper cells.” She repeated carefully, pronouncing every syllable for my idiot brain.

“Well, Ida, John Edwards is against sleeper cells.” I mean he had to be. Does a candidate have to come out with a position statement against sleeper cells? Wouldn’t it be safe to assume John Edwards was firmly in the anti-sleeper cell camp?

“That’s good.” Agreed Ida, with the slur back, full force. “Because we have sleeper cells, all over the country.”

“Ah, yes, I er, agree. Sleeper cells are bad.” I decided now was the moment, I’d go for it all, or nothing at all. “So can we count on your support for John Edwards tomorrow morning?”

Another pause. A very, very long pause. Just say yes Ida, or no, Ida, or anything.

“John Edwards caucus?” Finally, something.

“Yes Ida. Yes.” Okay, just breathe, I told myself, you can get through this. “It’s John Edwards, in the caucus. The Democratic Caucus. It’s tomorrow morning, starting at 11:30, can you be there and can we count on your support for John Edwards?”

“John Edwards?”

“Yes Ida, John Edwards for President. He’s running for President of the United States. The United States of America.” I’m sure I sounded very pleasant. “Can we count on your support Ida?”

“John Edwards is running for President?” For the first time, Ida seemed interested. I thought there might be hope. I was one happy volunteer who had managed to cut through the haze for Edwards!

“Yes he is Ida. He’s running for President and he doesn’t believe in sleeper cells.” It seemed to be the two issues most important to her.

“Then I’ll go to that John Edwards caucus.” My spirits soared. “I just love him on that TV show, where he talks to all those dead people. What time do I have to be there?”

I told her. And then offered her a ride.

“That would be wonderful. Then we can go play keno.”

I said good-bye and hung up the phone, satisfied at gaining another hard won supporter for Edwards.