A HANDY GUIDE TO THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
This was posted on Clark's blog. I just had to share it. :7
Subject: A HANDY GUIDE TO THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE New York, NY
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance :35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment) :45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing :46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD :30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong :35 PM Serve Freedom Fries :40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner! :00 PM Vote on which country to invade next :10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh :15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!! 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong :10 PM EPA Address #2 -- Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires :30 PM Break for secret meetings :00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas :15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory
Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong :50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy :10 PM Hilary Clinton Piqata :20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult :30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again. :35 PM Blame Clinton :40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies :50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself : 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
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