(I started typing at 4:30am, and lost my train of thought exactly seventeen times, but I have never let little things like not making sense stop me from...um...not making sense. Anyway, proceed with caution, you've been warned ;) )

*hic*

:)

Been a while since I've attempted to navigate a keyboard with a skinful of Jameson and Gritty's Scotch Ale. No, it isn't easier with practice. Well, yeah, it actually is. Oh, hush. :P

By the way, and not for nothing, if you want to post on DU while cross-eyed blasted, I finally figured out the trick. Hell, it only took me seven years, 40,000+ posts and maybe a thousand moments I'd like to forget but can't, because I typed out some watever and...

...Oooh, yeah, the trick.

Ready:

DON'T REPLY. EVER.

The OP process was always smooth as butter, cuz we're all Shakespeare in our little DU post-a-thread box. No, the train would always flip the tracks if I replied to posts in my own thread, especially if I replied to posts from vindictive Dean '04 people in the last iteration of this hyperlink bedlam asylum...you want to talk about grudge-keepers...man...

...but when you post drunk, whatever happens (fire/flood/meteor strike/Godzilla attack) is your fault automatically, because you're the idiot and you're posting with one eye open and a glass of scotch at your elbow...and someone replies with comments that are stupid enough to embarrass stupid people, and you know that, but you're drunk, so you take a swig and maybe even have good intentions when you reply to the reply, but this story ALWAYS has an unhappy ending, which often includes outrageous spelling errors and maybe a beat-down from Skinner to boot.

Yeah. Memories...in the corners of my mind...all say the same thing: DON'T REPLY. Post your ass off, have a ball...but save your rapier wit and excellent typing skills for the morning. Trust me...there are people here and there and wherever who'd like to see me in Hell with my back broken, and I'd apologize if I could only remember whatever the fuck it was that pissed them off...it was some reply to some reply, I think...or something.

DON'T REPLY.

Because, seriously, scary Jedi/ninja grudge keepers once prowled these halls, serious people who may still be here, voodoo-doll-making people whose dolls actually worked, who therefore collected pins and/or anything sharp so as to ventilate the doll that looks like you if you were a doll who didn't support Dean. These people remembered that misplaced comma in your post three years ago and used aforementioned punctuation error as an allegory to explain how wrong you are and will always be, how your candidate sucks, how you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny, etc., and yeah, it was a comma, but like I said, these people were wizards, masters of bad-feelings-all-around sorcery.

And...um...yeah, so...hate to say it, but...HA. 2003-2004 makes this place look like Captain Kangaroo's happy silly place for ping-pong balls and fun, etc. Basically, simply put, it was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse in 2004. Don't take that as a personal challenge. Instead, count your blessings. Someone hates you for calling Clinton a racist, or for calling Obama a rookie? Ooooooo...*snort*. Call me when you've wound somebody up enough that they threaten to kill you. But only call me if they really mean it.

2004. Feeeeeeel the magic. :puke:

P.S. 99.9999999% of the shit I got back then was actually created by...yup...me. I haven't really waded into the zoo here this time around, though I read it every day (man, some of you need an 8th grade civics textbook like the desert needs the rain, no offense, or lots, but it's true), but that's because 1) I don't have the stomach lining available to be decicated to smash-typed replies to posts that God couldn't even understand, and; 2) I have too much shit to do;, and 3) the 2004 bloodbath showed me exactly what kind of asshole shit I am capable if given a keyboard and 20 minutes...and that guy sucks, so fuck him.

I'm everyone's friend this time around. I haven't insulted anyone (sorta), and I have for damn sure spoken with nothing but respect for both candidates and their campaigns. That part was easy, because I meant it. I decided who I support in the voting booth back in February, and I stand proudly by my choice, but it is a hell of a thing to have lived from Nixon to Bush, to have seen so much shit, to have pretty much whored myself out to shitass bag-o-hair candidates in the name of "the greater good" because it was either that or take up firebombing...coin toss...

...and this year, I'm in the booth literally having a Lincoln-Douglass debate with myself...because here were two kick-ass candidates, both of whom are amazingly flawed in different ways (my rule of thumb: if you've heard of a candidate, it means they have signed up to work with The Program in exchange for a shot a the title, which means they are NOT ON YOUR SIDE), so dig your own grave and lie down, or else do as Ms. Ivins said and dance with them what brung ya, even if you can't stand the stink. It isn't about me being happy or satisfied with my votes or my positions.

The Devil or the Deep Blue Sea, right? The perfect is the enemy of the good, but goddam, what passes for "good" nowadays could use a little polish and maybe some integrity...or something...so I had my debate and made my decision and cast my vote in that booth, and what I realized after inking the box was this: I'll take either one, and will throw down for either one after the balloon party and the bullshit, so we can put on our steel-toed boots and helmet and mouth-guard and Holy Water cologne and whatever else might get us from Now to Later in one piece, so we can use those boots to kick Ol' Johnny-Boy up one side of Main Street and down the other, because keeping guys like that out is more important than letting our favored cretins in, just a little bit, but enough.

I was born into this Age Of Bedlam, I didn't have a say when they backed Hussein in '79 or when they overthrew Mossadeq in '53 or when they changed the economy to suit the bullet-makers in '47 or when they taught Bin Laden how to undo a superpower in '89 or when they legalized political bribery in '76...I didn't have a say, but I'm tasked to sweep up all the bones and busted glass left behind, and all I have is the idea that is America and the Constitution and the rule of law. That's all any of us have...and you know what?

That's enough.

I don't expect to live to see the repairs I sweat daily to try and make happen, maybe, after the quorum and if they have the votes and if nobody says we're soft on defense or whatever. Whatever, indeed. The idea is worth a lifetime of toil and setbacks and votes for the lesser evil, and is absolutely worth my death after a life dedicated thus...because if I do what I can, even in the dark and to no apparent effect, I will have at least bent my knee and given what I could to the idea. The idea deserves no less, and to me, that is a life well spent, come what may.

One of the most magnificently cheesy, totally trite yet basically awesome anyways lines I know by heart, one of the really raw-voltage bursts of truth I keep close to what passes for my heart, was uttered maybe ten thousand million years ago by a president named Clinton, who will be remembered for beating some seriously twisted ghouls at their own fucked-up economic game, and who will be remembered for getting crucified over two long televised years for daring to do so.

He said:

"There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be fixed by what is right with America."

Gospel.

So.

I'm drunk, and have been typing since Lent or something. Give me a break, if you can. This is the fourth national election I've spent on DU (that's FOUR, 1 2 3 4, quattro, your hand without a thumb, the Brady Bunch with a bastard child sharing the bottom bunk, four goddam times, two of which resulted in calamity, one in a checkmate, and one yet to be determined), so have a heart.

Seriously, though...

Obama crew: Don't go whomping on Clinton supporters if you're for Obama and think you've got it made and have some grudges to settle. First of all, be thankful that there are people like the Clinton supporters on DU who give as they get, who care, who are loyal to the crew they chose, who don't give a fuck about your hurt feelings, and who may be in the foxhole with you someday if the deal finally does go down. Second of all, schadenfreude is ugly in any language. Pray you don't have to suffer similar feelings of anger and frustration come November. Pray hard. And third, speaking from experience, just give it a rest for your own sake. You must have better things to do than wage word-war with some screen-name...and if you don't, you need to find it fast.

Clinton crew: thank you for the service you have given your country, and fuck anyone who says otherwise. Oh, also, if you can manage it, please please please please vote for the Democratic nominee come November. Remember, this isn't about you (nor about me, nor about anyone else here who pissed you off, etc.), but is about the idea of America, which will not do well at all under another GOP pillage-and-be-dumb regime run by McCain, who openly embraced Bush's all-powerful Executive branch concept. Nothing that has happened here or elsewhere to make you hurt, nothing but nothing, nothing could be bad enough that you refuse to participate. Decisions are made by those who show up, and patriots show up. You have served long, hard and with love. Don't stop just yet. And thank you again, from my heart.

I might have had a point when I started this, but that's pretty much a lost cause. So let me try to make a point up on the fly...

My mom tells a story about some fight-to-the-death mess she got into with her brohters when she was wee. Her mom broke it up and said something she has always remembered, and has repeated to me and whoever else could use some straightforward wisdom.

"You and us, you and your brothers, you and your family, is all you've got in this world."

Properly grim Irish Catholic stuff...but yeah. We're all we've got in a bunch of ways. You hate those candidate backers and they hate you and it's so frustrating...

Bag that shit.

We're all we've got. 99% of people here believe absolutely in 99% of what you believe...and if you're willing to throw out the baby with the bathwater over 1%, that probably means you're one of those useless zealot loudmouths who jumps from cause to cause and gets nothing done but your conscience is simon-pure, a trait shared by narcissists everywhere...

...or you're just plain crazy, made so by too much participation in an invisible insane asylum populated by brave flame-warriors who post under fake names and type shit they'd never say to your face, which makes you do the same, and that's just noise. If you're so wound up by whatever goop someone posted at you twelve primaries ago that you are planning to piss away your unbelievably important vote just to get back at someone named "Cheney8MyBalls" who you'll never meet, etc., it is safe to say you have lost your perspective. In other words, go outside, meet people with real names, press the flesh, wear down that shoe leather, and for the luvva Christ, VOTE "D."

We're all we've got, in the sense that pretty much none of us can talk about all this madhouse shit, can vent, can learn, can flip out, anywhere else the way we do here. The fund-drive threads seem to indicate a lot of people are bullshit at the Admins (for, um, like, giving us a free place to abuse each other? Hell, 30 years ago, that was a felony ;) ), but what this place was back in 2001 is still what this place is. We are here, and we need each other, and we're all we've got.

Cheese-fest over. Be kind to each other. Vote. Defeat Republicans.

I'm not really drunk anymore, which is A Good Thing. Experiencing the onset of a hangover while still awake. Not so good. Ow.

If you've read this far, wow, like, what were you thinking?

;)

:hug:

We're going to win. All of us. So there.

:toast:

What did you think of the president's comments yesterday? I thought he did our party a favor.

...and a walking billboard for why inter-party squabbling makes the Baby Jesus cry.

:toast:

Yeah, he helped. But we don't need his help. As long as we can staple him to McCain, he'll serve his purpose.

Apparently there are several very common physical and mental indicators, and George has all of them plus some shit they've never seen before.

Yay us. Thanks, Barb. You look like George Washington, and your sons are appropriate inheritors of your family's Nazi past: power-mad, ego-centric and badly inbred. Way to go, mom. Seig fuck yourself.

:grr:

With you on that.

Don't tell Andrew's mom. ;)

I win.

;)

Friend of mine used to suffer a similar fate for underage drinking. Not a word was said about it, but she was up at the crack of dawn with everyone else on the farm....except instead of normal farm work, she was stooped over, going down the rows, picking rocks and putting them in galvanized buckets, along with any siblings that had been enjoying some tasty beverages with her. All day.

That's neither here nor there, though. Lovely post, Mr. Pitt. Thanks.

:)

Got home from the bar at 3, started typing, and yeah, it's 7am.

Writing for a living is...interesting. ;)

I mixed five shots of whiskey with coke , I had taken 2 Ambiens during the day since I had a bout of insomnia , drank the mix , and had what is called "Alcohol induced psychosis" , not fun.

Even thinking about booze right now sends a chill down my spine.

Seriously, that sounds like a really rough ride. I'm glad you weathered it, and hey...there's that old folk saying: "Don't ever ever ever ever ever do five shots of anything on top of pills, and if you do, bring a helmet." I think Willie Nelson said that. ;)

Lesson learned, right? The really important lessons always have to be the ones that almost kill you, or so it sometimes seems. Be well.

:hug:

he cut his teeth on a bottle of scotch.

He's a man's man.

so i'll simply say...

:hi:

;)

Your dog is ugly. Not really, but I'm saying it anyway.

:P

:hug:

i'm tired. need coffee.

and about to take my ugly dog to 'Doggy Daycare' on my way to work :P

he made mommy a Mother's Day card at Daycare last week :eyes:

Again, not really.

But Jesus, Matt. Didn't you used to drive tanks or something?

;)

Tanks turned me into a bleeding heart Liberal

what can I say? :rofl:

:P

You are a gentleman and a scholar.

three cheers for william pitt......

he is a man of principles and high ideals.

I love me some will pitt.

Nothing but raspberries and tainted love to the most esteemed and beloved poster ever at du.

:toast:

;)

Jerod Mayo (OLB) :argh:

I'll take my hangover over yours any day of the week.

Tully Banta-Cain. *snarf*

;)

:thumbsup:

Enjoyed your essay, as always.

:beer:

;)

;);)

My kind of crowd.

:P

Oooh.

(says the guy from the town whose team lost)

(no, I'm not bitter)

( ;) )

I hear they got clean sheets and great food!

You never know. You could emerge as the newer, better, sober will pitt that we all know and love, but only better.

NT!

Flyers or Penguins?

My team got chased, so I'm doing the sucker-fish thing with my Pittsburg friend. No real dog in the hunt, especially now that the Habs got bounced (thanks to your squad).

Has anyone started a psychotherapy clinic for Philly fans yet? Someone should. Either God hates you guys, or else He has one vicious sense of humor.

Says the Red Sox fan. The worm does turn...I was there to see it. Cheers.

:toast:

by putting a 37 foot statue of a modest quaker named Billy Penn on top of the then-tallest occupied building in the world. Philly didn't build a taller building until 1987... ever since, Philly's been cursed with no championships. We tried to solve the problem by putting a small statue of Penn on top of the new tallest building last year during its topping-out ceremony and maybe it worked but now that the American Commerce Center plan (a 1500 footer) has been approved, the sports gods said "An even BIGGER one? Fuck those assholes!"

That said, I don't even watch sports, I just live in a city that loses its shit over them.

edit: Here's a link with some outdated info because it lists Liberty Place as our tallest instead of the Comcast Center:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_Billy_Penn

You live in Philly but don't watch sports? That's like living in a pond if you don't swim.

Or not. All I know is that Philly sports fans are the modern equivalent of the berzerkers who burned Rome down to the stumps. Totally insane, multiple-decate championship blue-balls that has become a kind of localized mass derangement. The football field has a jail and a judge in the basement, because they need it. Hoo.

I need sleep. Cheers.

:toast:

will I vote for the D, the L, the G, the Argh?.?.?


Of course I already know which :party: to support. Already have the plans in place to work as hard as I can to make sure OUR candidate gets the VOTES for a VICTORY come November.

It's really a No Brainer.


McCaineyBush is NOT "my friend":puke:


:toast:Hair of the Dog:toast:for your hangover:toast:

precious. The McCainy/Bush is not my friend especially, I can so relate to that.

You Rock!

feel better soon

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GROVELBOT.EXE v4.1
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This week is our second quarter 2008 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
a completely independent website. We depend on donations from our members
to cover our costs. Whatever you do, do not click the link below!

Besides, I already donated.

Take THAT, you non-existent donation-gathering HTML program.

Ha. Schooled.

:crazy:

:rofl:

When I get that blasted I normally think about women, not politics.

:headbang:

KIDDING.

I think about both, which maybe means I'm deranged.

P.S. Bill shoulda thought about politics. Or golf. Or old nuns.

;)

I mean, does anyone really care what political party Marissa Miller belongs to?

Thanks. I needed that. Google image search is better than coffee.

;)

Thanks for the tip.

I'll be in my bunk.

I read every damn word, you bastard.

It was dark when I started typing, and I had a theme to pursue. Then it was light, and I wasn't making sense, and...yeah. Sorry.

;)

1. GO DEAN! Love him or die, assholes!

2. I'm not sure that 2003-04 was worse than now. As anyone who was here then can remember, GD:P was invented when things got so awful in GD that the primaries had to be moved elsewhere. This was a good move because primary discussion (or mindless boosterism, if you will) was the kudzu choking out the GD crops. This year it seems that GD:P was invaded by people whose propensity to SPAM was so great that a 3 OP per day limit was imposed The funny thing about GD:P was that it was essentially a lockdown forum. You could discuss the primaries, but there were additional rules to obey. Rules tended to be strictly enforced and several breaches of the rules would get you banned from GD:P. This led to some humorous adaptations. Who can forget the "Unambiguously positive sigline", as best demonstrated by the large "+" that was Walt Starr's sig, the flamewar about fried chicken recipes that was really about primary hostility that could not be voiced in the high security confines of GD:P, the night of Joementum in which about a dozen Dean supporters decided to outflank constant harping about national security issues from Clark supporters by feigning a sudden conversion to Joe Lieberman, or Padraig18's picture of Edwards holding a note saying "You got served" that he posted to Clark supporters when Edwards got the VP spot. Perhaps your viewing this season as better is because you were not as involved in fighting. This year's fight has just been a slugfest without the imagination of 2004.

3. You are too generous in your description of Clinton supporters, and I suppose that in the hopes of them backing the nominee certain sacrifices of the truth might be made. I have a less positive view of them. Some are ok, but...why bother finish this sentence?

KIDDING. Please don't kill me. I love the Chairman. Really.

;) And really, I do. Right man, right spot, right time. All things serve the Great Magnet. :)

I am soooooooooooo glad I stayed out of the wars. It really made a difference in the way I approach the whole thing. I swear to God, I'll go to the mat for either one. They don't matter. We need to win 10 more elections before we make a dent...but these two are galaxies better than the alternative. Choosing between a shitty status quo and a deranged planetary kamikaze dive...I'll take shitty, with an option for improvement if we work hard enough for it.

I honestly have no opinion about the berzerkers from either camp. I have just kept away. Kinda weird to be headed for November without anyone actively hating me. Maybe I should go pick a fight or something.

Or something. ;)

Sober up and the hate-bots will emerge.

Actually...I hate you. You write better drunk than I do sober.


:toast:

if you sober up for a few months again, you'll be back on top again.

We Love you Will!!!!!

and then sleep well!

:hi:

he's rejuvenated from the constant number of new members that love him unconditionally.

We love you will!

That is all.

- as

Whisky gets sticky when it dries and it then causes you make a lot of spelling errors. Cheers.

:patriot:

with Hillary not having a chance anymore, most of the family is now switching to Obama. Only my husband is not ... he supported him from the beginning :)

I guess I'd better go looking for some Irish whiskey. Even though it really is still too early here for alcohol,...off to search for some Jamesons.

:toast:

he doesn't need to be sober to write a best seller. He's WILL PITT for god's sake.

She always lets me know right away when you post!!! This one is among my favorites!!!!

You are absolutely right, its time to start enjoying the "Party" and make sure we take back the White House and protect the Supreme Court!

;)

x(

:P

but did not succeed.
I guess it's safe in here for a drunken Unity message at dawn Mr. Pitt :toast:
Equanimity isn't working too well for me right now but I did get amusement from your streaming thoughts :)

Differing from you in that IMO there's one kick-ass Dem candidate and one whose ass got rightly kicked
:kick:

But Here's to Hope -- that what's wrong can be fixed by what's right about America--never before since the civil war have we had such a test of what that might mean. We are going to need all hands on deck and critical fences do need to be mended somehow. Those Benedict Arnolds who call themselves a Dem and vote McBu$h for whatever reason can jump under the nearest bus however.

I have a friend who spent a month in a coma, and he came out of it with ALL of his brain cells intact...

Maybe if I spent a month like that, I'd be as smart as he is!

Or, maybe if I drank like you, I'd be as good a writer as you are!

Damn.

K&R

Great rant!

:patriot:

. . . that I could possibly be as good a writer. Thanks for raising the bar.

just reach over by the side of the bed and take a big gulp of hair of the dog. Will knows what he's doing. He's been around here more than most of us. He is a du icon.

We love you will!

Nice post.

Maybe I should try that Gritty stuff...

Cheers... I'll try to be nicer. And calmer. Heh.

I read the whole thing.

:crazy:

Oh, how I remember those days back in '03 and '04. Sounds like you're being reflective and almost feeling a twang of guilt about those days gone bye.

Nothing but Rasberries and Tainted Love, you drunken "bastid".

You could have at least waited for a sporting event! :P

:toast:

:puke:

At least that would take less time to witness than reading this shite. :hurts:

sounds like a drunken rant to me...

Oh shit. I replied.

Great post.
You're a scholar and a (drunk) gentleman.

indeed

we ARE going to win...

thanks for sharing


INVESTIGATE IMPEACH INDICT INCARCERATE :patriot:

(Even when drunk, you think more clearly than a lot of people around here)

"Obama crew: Don't go whomping on Clinton supporters if you're for Obama and think you've got it made and have some grudges to settle. First of all, be thankful that there are people like the Clinton supporters on DU who give as they get, who care, who are loyal to the crew they chose, who don't give a fuck about your hurt feelings, and who may be in the foxhole with you someday if the deal finally does go down. Second of all, schadenfreude is ugly in any language. Pray you don't have to suffer similar feelings of anger and frustration come November. Pray hard. And third, speaking from experience, just give it a rest for your own sake. You must have better things to do than wage word-war with some screen-name...and if you don't, you need to find it fast.

"Clinton crew: thank you for the service you have given your country, and fuck anyone who says otherwise. Oh, also, if you can manage it, please please please please vote for the Democratic nominee come November. Remember, this isn't about you (nor about me, nor about anyone else here who pissed you off, etc.), but is about the idea of America, which will not do well at all under another GOP pillage-and-be-dumb regime run by McCain, who openly embraced Bush's all-powerful Executive branch concept. Nothing that has happened here or elsewhere to make you hurt, nothing but nothing, nothing could be bad enough that you refuse to participate. Decisions are made by those who show up, and patriots show up. You have served long, hard and with love. Don't stop just yet. And thank you again, from my heart."

THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING. That and your mom is AWESOME. :7