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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:21 PM
Original message
McCain is so old...
He and God were classmates in elementary school

When God said "Let there be Light" McCain said "let there be sunglasses"

If he invested $10 in a mutual fund when he was 20 years old, he could pay off the national debt now.

That when the Big Bang occurred, he didn't hear it.

His first affair was with Eve.


Kudos to Bluenorthwest for giving me this idea in another thread.


Your turn!
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Jackpine Radical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. ...he had a brother named
McAbel but he threw a tantrum & killed him.
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
19. !
:rofl:
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Johnny__Motown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 05:59 PM
Response to Reply #1
31. Great one
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #1
33. I saw that one coming
but it was still funny.

:rofl:
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Jackpine Radical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. Of COURSE you saw it coming.
I got a Duzy for it last week. But I couldn't resist milking it again. What can I say? I'm weak.
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-27-08 08:19 AM
Response to Reply #35
39. LOL
I didn't even see the DUzy or the original post, and I still saw it coming!
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. His spirit wakes up before his body and dials 9-1-1 for the medics
Edited on Mon May-26-08 02:26 PM by shadowknows69
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mathewsleep Donating Member (824 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. he doesn't have crabs,
he has trilobites.
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izzybeans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
4. he probably thinks you can shoot things down with laser beams from space
just like the last dementia patient for POTUS.
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JPZenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
5. Website: Things that are younger than mccain
http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/
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Hatalles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. John McCain is soooooooo old...
Edited on Mon May-26-08 02:30 PM by Hatalles
McCain is so old, when he farts, he farts dust.

McCain is so old, he still owes Jesus $3 bucks.

McCain is so old, he got his driver's license on a dinosaur.

McCain is so old, he knew the Burger King when he was only a prince.

McCain is so old, his social security number is made up of roman numerals.

McCain is so old, when he enters an antique shop, they put a price sticker on his forehead.

McCain is so old, he's even older than these jokes.

:)
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. McCain is so old
His Social Security number is 1
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
8. He's so old
he was a waiter at the last supper.
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Exilednight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
9. He opened the Bibel and read "In the beginning", and then said "my friends,
the book is wrong. I know, I was there."
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Exilednight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. McCain is so old, this was his first combat helmet......
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Hatalles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
10. k/r
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
12. I'm pretty sure he's younger than my parents
I think I was jokingly calling my dad 'Methuselah' when he was about my age, or younger. Which is probably why I no longer think age jokes are funny.
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:34 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. My parents are older too
but they aren't running for president.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:16 PM
Response to Reply #14
29. my mom would probably be a better Senator than Hillary
and she is actually from New York. My dad is on the town board, the County housing board, and volunteers for the Red Cross and Meals on Wheels. I don't think he's too old to be President. He'd certainly be a better President than either Bush or McCain.
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Ashy Larry Donating Member (900 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:33 PM
Response to Original message
13. McCain is so old,
the original Straight Talk Express was a covered wagon.
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:36 PM
Original message
LOL! That would actually make him approx. 171 years old!
:rofl:

100*log(10000000000000/10)/7 = 171.4286

(under easygoing assumptions, of course)
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
15. He's so old, he was at the Tower of Bable
and it shows
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Jackpine Radical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #15
36. Nobody could make sense of what he was saying
back then either.
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
16. ... his first campaign speech was recorded on a wax cylinder.

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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. OK, Swampy - -
who's face is that on Gazoo? :rofl:
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. FINALLY!!
Finally someone noticed! :applause:
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. I think it's one of your finest works!
You, my friend, get a DUZY nod for that! :rofl:
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #20
23. Isn't that Rove?
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Bicoastal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
17. When he was in school, they didn't HAVE History.
Edited on Mon May-26-08 02:44 PM by Bicoastal
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 02:46 PM
Response to Original message
18. He's so old his first residence was in Rodinia
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jumptheshadow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
22. John McCain is so old...
that you can almost fit the collective ages of six GD-P'ers into his lifespan.
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
24. He's so old
that he help built the golden calf to impress the cattle lobby.
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:09 PM
Response to Original message
26. McCain is so old
He knew Bob Dole as a kid...
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Me. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:11 PM
Response to Original message
27. McCain Is So Old
He comes after Alpha but before Omega
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Gore1FL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 03:13 PM
Response to Original message
28. He's so old
Spielberg hired him as historical consultant on Jurassic Park
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zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
30. actually, he lodged a complaint with the authorities ...
when the Big Bang occurred, it woke him from a sound sleep ...
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DLnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
32. McCaint is so old,
his first campaign, he lost to an ameba!

He's so old, he doesn't realize there's more than one continent now!
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Thothmes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
34. Along with Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd
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papapi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 10:33 PM
Response to Original message
37. McCain is so old...his teeth are made out of wood.
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IDemo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-26-08 10:43 PM
Response to Original message
38. His advisers have to remind him he's running for president, not pharaoh
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-30-08 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
40. kick?
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