The Jehovahs Cure......

Out where we lived when this occured there wasn't all that much traffic, and everyone pretty well knew everyone else and the vehicles they drove. So every 3-4 months when an older sedan of some make and model would come creeping along up the hill it became common to assume it was the 'Witnesses' again. It's okay to politely say no to their advances a few dozen times or so, but eventually it becomes annoying and you really feel a need to put an end to it.

This was around the time that the law was passed where you could call in and get on an official list that all solicitors had to check before knocking on your door, generally it worked a lot better than the present 'do not call' list, but then again there were one or two bureaucrats who were not totally incompetent back then. Anyways in this instance it didn't work. A new approach had to be thought of. So the wife and I the next shopping trip found a used book store and bought a dozen or so paperbacks for a buck, and a couple other items. took them home, put them in a box and set them conveniently near the kitchen table.

Sure enough it wasn't three or four weeks lated than here comes an old sedan creeping up the hill. When they stopped out front, out got the two young neophytes and their two older 'keepers'. Instead of doing as we usually did, meeting them on the porch, we waited and when they knocked we asked them in and asked what they were selling? Their eyes brightened considerably and the young ones garbled the first two lines of the script, but got through it finally after receiving some stern looks from the guardians. "Well, I said. I'm an open minded person, so perhaps we could discuss this, under one condition." This caused a look of concern on the elders faces, and one asked "What might these conditions be?" I smoothly replied, "That I would like to make comparisons with my religion and they could then point out any deficiencies they thought might exist in it. And one other thing to speed things a bit, we would do this every ten minutes. Was that okay?" they huddled, that is the only word fro it, they huddled a few moments and the oldest said they thought that would be very reasonable. I invited them to sit down at the kitchen table with us.

Now being the polite person that I am(quit choking and gagging), I let them have the first ten minutes. When the time was up, the wife who had been sitting quietly up to this point pointed at the clock and said sweetly, "Well, that was certainly a quick ten minutes. Darling, I believe it is your turn?" At that she reached over next to the cupboard and scooted the box of books and stuff over towards me. While rummaging around and getting the stack in order, I told something about needing a reference or two, because my memory was sometimes unreliable on these sorts of things. At which time I carefully arranged the dozen or so books on the occult and satanism onto the table, together with the black candle.

I would have lost any bet as to the agility of that oldest member of the group, and was quite surprised at the inconsideration of the younger ones as they shoved their way first into that old sedan. We never had another visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses at that address.

...and that so help me, is the truth!
Dudley Didereaux 2008Out where we lived when this occured there wasn't all that much traffic, and everyone pretty well knew everyone else and the vehicles they drove. So every 3-4 months when an older sedan of some make and model would come creeping along up the hill it became common to assume it was the 'Witnesses' again. It's okay to politely say no to their advances a few dozen times or so, but eventually it becomes annoying and you really feel a need to put an end to it.

This was around the time that the law was passed where you could call in and get on an official list that all solicitors had to check before knocking on your door, generally it worked a lot better than the present 'do not call' list, but then again there were one or two bureaucrats who were not totally incompetent back then. Anyways in this instance it didn't work. A new approach had to be thought of. So the wife and I the next shopping trip found a used book store and bought a dozen or so paperbacks for a buck, and a couple other items. took them home, put them in a box and set them conveniently near the kitchen table.

Sure enough it wasn't three or four weeks lated than here comes an old sedan creeping up the hill. When they stopped out front, out got the two young neophytes and their two older 'keepers'. Instead of doing as we usually did, meeting them on the porch, we waited and when they knocked we asked them in and asked what they were selling? Their eyes brightened considerably and the young ones garbled the first two lines of the script, but got through it finally after receiving some stern looks from the guardians. "Well, I said. I'm an open minded person, so perhaps we could discuss this, under one condition." This caused a look of concern on the elders faces, and one asked "What might these conditions be?" I smoothly replied, "That I would like to make comparisons with my religion and they could then point out any deficiencies they thought might exist in it. And one other thing to speed things a bit, we would do this every ten minutes. Was that okay?" They huddled, that is the only word for it they huddled, a few moments and the oldest said they thought that would be very reasonable. I invited them to sit down at the kitchen table with us.

Now being the polite person that I am(quit choking and gagging), I let them have the first ten minutes. When the time was up, the wife who had been sitting quietly up to this point pointed at the clock and said sweetly, "Well, that was certainly a quick ten minutes. Darling, I believe it is your turn?" At that she reached over next to the cupboard and scooted the box of books and stuff over towards me. While rummaging around and getting the stack in order, I saild something about needing a reference or two, because my memory was sometimes unreliable on these sorts of things. At which time I carefully arranged the dozen or so books on the occult and satanism onto the table, together with the black candle.

I would have lost any bet as to the agility of that oldest member of the group, and was quite surprised at the inconsideration of the younger ones as they shoved their way first into that old sedan. We never had another visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses at that address.

...and that so help me, is the truth!

not so much the second time around hehe.

even so, that was probably the best way to get rid of them.

I never really got the point of their religion- why worship if you were already saved or damned?

I should know, I was one for my first 36 years.

Jehovah's Witnesses go door-to-door not primarily to save your ass, but rather to save their own. You'd be hard pressed to make one of them admit that, of course. Yeah, they volunteer their time to come preach to you, but believe you me, said time is volunteered under duress and threat of social, familial, and spiritual death.

There are very few Jehovahs Witnesses that are "full time". And those that are are usually sent to third world countries to preach. These "special pioneers" receive very little money, but enough to get by.

When someone comes to your door here in the US or Canada, they probably have a day job, because they aren't paid by the church. For that matter, no one in your local Kingdom Hall receives any money for any position they hold within the church.

Which sounds kinda cool, but it's really not.

My brother was in a flat with several friends, just a common shared kitchen/individual bedrooms arrangement.

Early one morning (Read: It wasn't early but they were very hungover) there is a knock on the door, and a conversation that went something like this:

My brother: Nnnurrrrghhh, what do you want?

Them: Good morning, we'd like to talk to you about Jesus.

One of my brothers (male) friends, in a deep voice from one of the bedrooms: Mmmmmm come back to bed, honey.....

They left. Quickly.