How do you answer?

Over the years I have been asked--in widely varied settings and contexts--if I have been "saved."

It could be at the library, waiting for a bus, in line at the post office, or even simply while wishing "good afternoon" to a stranger.

The question arises again and again, and it always annoys me.


Not because the question is offensive in itself (though it is rather presumptuous), but rather because I know that any answer short of "yes I am, praise Jesus!" is going to result in a lecture and a none-too-subtle attempt to "bring me into the fold." If I could merely answer "no" and be done with it I wouldn't mind, but I know that an honest "no" will earn me a torrent of conversion rhetoric that lasts until the particular interaction has ended.

What I want to say is "fuck no, and I think that you're kind of being a jerk about it," but I know that this won't do me any good anyway.


I would prefer not to be asked the question in the first place. Failing that, what answer can I give that will get me out of having to answer a dozen additional questions?

:shrug:

If it were a one-time, one-on-one conversation with a stranger, I wouldn't care, but if I'm in a public setting with other people around, I'd prefer not to come across as so aggressive.

And anyway, that answer only results in even more determined rhetoric from the proselytizer!

I have never been asked, but were I my answer would be either:
'none of your fucking business' or
'I am an atheist. Please mind your own business.'
If one of those fail, I would inform the person that I will go to the police station and press assault charges, amy I have your name please?
I would not put up with that shit.

The perception is that a nice person was trying to share discuss his personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and then some mean old atheist was rude to him.

Yes, you and I know that the evangelist is the one who's initiating the confrontation, but in my experience it doesn't come across that way.

I never discuss personal religious or sexual matters outside of my home.

They say (and I've heard them say this) that they aren't "religious," nor are they talking about "religion." Instead, they're telling me about "their personal relationship with Jesus Christ."

Elsewhere I've stated my thoughts about the how unreasonable it is to claim such a relationship, but they keep on insisting it nonetheless.

"That is a matter between my conscience and God, don't you agree?"

And if they follow up with a question like "what do you mean by that?", you simply answer

"that all judgement is in God's hands", and then change the topic.

similar answers in the past have typically yielded a response that exhorts me to "make sure" that I've secured Christ's salvation, along with a passionate explanation of how I can do this and what a huge difference it's apparently made in the proselytizer's life.


See, your answer would be good if I were dealing with a reasonable, respectful person. Unfortunately...

If the object is to refuse the person an answer that gives him an in, that won't work. You have to slam the door shut tighter.

Besides, some of us don't believe in God and, therefore, don't believe that question is a matter between "my conscience and God." Some of us believe the question is absurd and meaningless and doesn't deserve a polite, reasonable reply.

Just smile when you say, "None of your fucking business." :D

Seriously, you can just say, politely, "I'd rather not say, thank you." If the person persists, "I said I'd rather not say and I mean it. I'd rather not discuss this with you. Thank you." What can anyone say to that?

Then I say "Thanks anyway and have a good day". That only works about half the time, though. I've thought about going with "No, my Lord Satan would not wish me to be brought into the folds of your false God", but figured that would really earn me a lecture (or some sort of violence). Plus, since I don't believe there's a Satan either, that would be a complete lie.

No ones business if I am "saved" or not.

give no consideration when they ask that "question" and deserve none from your response. Neither do they deserve courtesy.

The idea that you must be accommodating to someone who is being obnoxious is a bullshit concept that enables their bad behavior. As long as they do not have a negative consequence for their actions, they will continue to threaten you in that fashion.

I'm not worried about offending the evangelist so much as I'd rather not disturb the overall scene--often there are other people present (in the post office or at the bus stop or whatever), and I don't want to bust out the expletives out of turn. I'd like to leave the scene knowing that I was courteous even if the proselytizer was not.

They do this crap in public and try to bully you when you're in a space from which you can't escape.

:mad: :mad:

My own aunt asked me questions about if I'm going to church, if I'm saved, etc. while I was at work. I work in a VERY public place. Rude to say the least.

The questioner...a 40-something woman just walked away with the same blank look on her face as when she first came up to me.

I might have been a bit ruder with a 20-something kid...like "Were you raised in this or are you some kind of fuck up who assumes everyone else is a fuck up?"

It's always about money and power...planting a seed of doubt in their minds...that would be a precious little gift to a stranger.

I don't claim any religion but I know a Christian when I see one.

Subtle but not too subtle!

My temptation is to say, "from what?" but that is an invitation to bug me some more.

by saying "Jesus may save but not as well as tuuka rask"

I worked at Wal-Mart for a little while and I had people ask me this while I was checking them out.

Most of the time I just answer honestly. One time I made the mistake of telling a guy I was an atheist and this guy shouted really loud, "OH MY GOD!! THIS GIRL DOES NOT BELIEVE!! SHE IS NOT A BELIEVER!!!!!"

::face palm::

I think in the end he was the one that looked bad, not me.

Wow. Public shaming...or what he perceived as public shaming. Adorable tactics.

"Oh my god! You collect money from all the people you've 'saved'? You find people who are at rock bottom and at their weakest and then exploit them! What an AWESOME scam!!!" (Never knew a person who wasn't a fuck-up before became a born-again...NEVER).

then escape while they try to wrap their minds around that.

It usually works.

Saying I'm Jewish or an Atheist. The sad thing, is I think both answers are equally bad in terms of inciting the "need to be saved" reflex in these types.
I just say something neutral like, I'm sorry, I'm not interested. And walk away/ignore the person. Its worked well for me..:hi:

It's an equally personal and offensive question.

Tell them you'll answer questions on a tit-for-tat basis about your spiritual life if they answer ones about their sex life.

Make your questions as graphic, detailed and specific as you can.

And when they inevitably try to end the conversation by saying, "I'll pray for you," you tell them, "I'll think of you when I masturbate."

Almost on par with the ol' lady teabagger grudge fuck.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Make 'em feel awkward AND dirty. You'll be all the talk at the next tent revival!

Not sure if I could carry that off in real time, to be honest, but it sounds like it would be magnificent!

if you rebuffed them. I personally am fed up with being a nice guy about this crap. They are trying to indoctrinate and control you. F*ck them! They don't want you to have your own mind or opinion. They want to dominate you. They are the christian Taliban.

on the internet. That's actually what I do. I've been a Bright for quite a while. http://www.the-brights.net/

(son's gotta doc appt in 1/2 hour)

though can you tell me quickly how this compares/relates to Secular Humanism?

"Within the definition of bright,<1> many, but not all, brights also identify variously under other terms or identities, including atheist, humanist, secular humanist, freethinker, objectivist, rationalist, naturalist, materialist, agnostic, skeptic, apatheist and so on. Even so, the "movement is not associated with any defined beliefs," as written on The Brights' Net website. One of the purposes of the Brights' Net is to include the umbrella term bright in the vocabulary of this existing "community of reason".<8>

However, "the broader intent is inclusive of the many-varied persons whose worldview is naturalistic" but are in the "general population", as opposed to associating solely with the "community of reason". So persons who can declare their naturalistic worldview using the term bright extend beyond the familiar secularist categories, as long as they do not hold theistic worldviews.<9> Registrations even include some members of the clergy, such as Presbyterian ministers and a Church History Professor and ordained priest."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brights_movement

I have to say that picking the name "Brights" was about the worst move that atheists could have done. However bright I might or might not be, I will never self-identify as such.

it were something else.

Makes them want to "save" you.

I once spent two hours talking to two Jehovah's Witnesses at my front door until they said "We have to leave."

Eventually they realize they can't get a hook in you, and they give up and excuse themselves.

and attempt to discuss (say) football with the person. You can pretend you didn't hear a word they said. You have plenty of options. Personally, I prefer not to be needlessly unkind or rude to people, so they generally get a short conversation from me, in which I try to take the other seriously as a human being but with the subtext "I am probably not going to be persuaded by what you say"

A person hell-bent on saving my soul is not usually going to switch quickly to how much the Packers suck.

No good comes from any response. I just ignore them. If possible, I walk away. Anything I say is just going to give them the impression I actually want to talk to them.

Then I walk away. Let them figure out what I answered.

If they press the point, try this:

"Yes, of course, I was saved. Part of my usual Friday backup. If I spontaneously abort, at least I won't lose more than a week's work, and if I don't like the changes made to me I can always revert to an earlier save."

what they don't know is it was my grandpa and uncle who saved me when I fell in a frozen lake. No need to mention those details if I don't have to. I make sure to walk away afterward through.

Most can be reduced to "isn't it great to be as righteous as we are?" but some require more specific details than I'm likely able to give off the cuff, and I'm sure that my deception will be revealed.

I can mention the tunnel of light above me, and then I saw two hands reaching for me, I felt myself lift up, and then I had a Revelation, then my Uncle asked: "Do you need a towel?"

Somehow, the word "saved" never came up. I've been asked:

"Have you found Jesus?"
Which one? The last one I knew played baseball.

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"
If I ever meet him, I'll consider it.

"What church do you go to?"
I attend the Church of the Fluffed Pillow.

One recent time went like this:

I was doing census work at a local soup kitchen, and one of the guests of the kitchen that day was a woman in her late 50s with one of those fold-up hand-carts for groceries or whatever. After the enumeration was complete, I was driving out of the parking lot and I saw her struggling with the cart--she was limping slightly and the ground was pretty bumpy.

I was off-duty by that time, so as a private (non-census-taking) citizen I offered to give her a lift. Turns out she had about a mile to walk, and she was delighted to accept the offer.

We chatted about census stuff and other trivia, when out of the blue she looked at me and said "so, are you saved?"

Given the context, I knew that she was asking in response to the gesture of driving her home, and when I told her that I'm not a person of faith, she was genuinely amazed that a non-faith person would help another person as I was helping her (a small gesture, I admit, but it still surprised her).

I answered that I'd lived without a car for many years, and I'd always appreciated it when people offered to drive me where I needed to go, so now I'm happy to return the favor. She didn't pursue the "are you saved" angle beyond that, but her amazement is still very fresh in my mind.


Others who've asked me the same question usually aren't content to accept that non-believers can be helpful people too!

Others who've asked me the same question usually aren't content to accept that non-believers can be helpful people too!
Religious bigotry takes many, many forms, and it's incredible how many of those bigots will claim that others are bigoted when they are disagreed with.

rarely engaged in random conversation of this (or any other) sort. In places where chit-chat between strangers is more likely, i.e. while walking the dog, or on my former bus commute, earbuds and an iPod provide easy cover to ignore such people.

I don't think there is any good answer, though. The only time I was ever actually asked, I was a Lutheran at the time (and had been my whole life), so I said yes. But apparently mainstream Protestantism doesn't count in the eyes of a wandering itinerant guitar-playing self-appointed preacher with a beard big enough to hide small woodland creatures in. He continued to 'witness' to my friends and me and insist that we must be born again, and that no, those baptisms when we were infants didn't count, nor did our fervent beliefs, nightly prayers, and regular church attendance. Then he proceeded to try to exorcise the 'homo demons' out of my gay friend...didn't work, but we were all highly entertained.

but we jammed together a couple of times.

The last time I remember an encounter like that was at the U of MD. I had graduated from there a couple years earlier, but was on campus waiting for the woman I was seeing at the time.

As I waited outside the Zoo/Psych building, this guy and girl with that way-too-friendly smile on their faces came up to me and I think said something meant to break the ice and put me at ease, I guess. I was leery of them, but was polite and engaged in some small talk.

That's when they sprang their real reason for talking with me.

One of them asked: "If you were to die today, do you know where you'd go?"

Saying the first thing that came to mind, I said: "I don't know...the morgue?"

I think they started in on their spiel about going to heaven or hell and I just said, "I'm really not interested," and started reading my book.

I haven't had an encounter like that since then that I can remember.

what my response will be the next time I'm asked if I'm saved. :thumbsup:

It's short and succinct and if you smile while you say it there shouldn't be any more questions about that subject.
Which reminds me of something my friend Jim posted on his facebook wall.

There are two rules for Life:
1- Don't ever tell everything you know

And I suppose, as a Christian, I could technically answer in the affirmative - though I'm not one who buys the whole selective saving notion. (IOW, I'm as "saved" as anyone, or as "not saved").

But I think I'd just answer honestly: "I don't think that's really any of your business, thanks".

Thank you ladles and gentlespoons.