So what movies are playing at your Rapture Day party?

Here's what one Militant Gnu Atheist (me) might be watching next weekend...

Saturday, 21 May:

The Rapture - well, what else? The title alone may scare my fellow atheists away, but the movie asks a question we frequently discuss: even if a god existed who is powerful enough to destroy the world, does it even deserve worship if it also destroys our closest human relationships?

And yes, the title is taken to its logical conclusion. But this was a low-budget movie, so they could only afford ONE Horseman of the Apocalypse. As compensation, an orgy scene features a participant with the Apocalypse tattooed across her back. And if anyone has good, clear screen caps of that scene...well, never mind.

Starring former Mrs. Tom Cruise/$cientologist Mimi Rogers, and a pre-"X Files" David Duchovny. Written and directed by Michael Tolkin, who is a secular Jew IIRC and not a full-blown Evil Atheist.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102757/

...And God Spoke! Two hack movie producers ("Ninja Cheerleaders") get funded to film the entire Bible. With Soupy Sales as Moses, Eve Plumb as Mrs. Noah, and Lou Ferrigno and Andy Dick as Cain and Abel. Along with the religious snark, there are whacks at the entire movie industry, from clueless execs right down to caterers and truck drivers.

"And what screen credit does that angel get? 'Angel who blew the producer to get her SAG card?'"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107492/

The Devils - staying on today's cinematic theme of "Religious Mania..."

This flick is still just about as controversial now as it was when released in 1971, with or without the famous "Bride of Christ" scene. Ken Russell's eye-popping adaptation of Aldous Huxley's The Devils of Loudon has plenty of convent--ional repressed sexuality bustin' out. But it also meditates on the consequences of Church-State relationships. Which always end with a lot of people getting screwed, and not pleasantly.

In addition to naked nuns, sexual frenzies, and a cross-dressing French king, this flick has Oliver Reed and Vanessa Redgrave at the top of their game. The scene I find most unforgettable is the trial, with the Inquisition judges in their red robes and pointed hoods. Scalia, is that you...?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066993/

Sunday, 22 May:

Elmer Gantry - and after the Non-Rapture, today's theme is..."Religious Con Men." This adaptation of Sinclair Lewis' novel was pretty shocking in 1960, when the clergy were a lot more immune from criticism than they are today. Especially with dialogue like: "He rammed the fear of God into me so fast I never heard my old man's footsteps!" (Spoken by Shirley MacLaine, who won an Oscar for playing hooker Lulu Bains.)

Burt Lancaster is perfect, with his beaming smile, werewolf hair and folksy patter of a born salesman (for any product, from Jesus to used cars).

Lewis' source material was pretty obvious - Sister Aimee Semple McPherson, who made it big in the very city from which I am writing, Los Angeles. Her Church of the Foursquare Gospel still exists here.

Like Harold Camping, McPherson was a master at manipulating the media. Especially after she claimed to have been kidnapped in 1926, when she was actually off canoodling with her radio engineer. When the truth started coming out, McPherson screamed that she was being persecuted by a huge conspiracy involving the Pope and the Los Angeles County district attorney's office (largely Irish-Catholic at the time).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053793/

Wise Blood - "I'm gonna start me a new church. Where the blind don't see, the crippled don't walk, and what's dead stays that way!"

John Huston struggled for years to film Flannery O'Connor's creepy religious tale. He finally got the movie made in 1980, filming with input from O'Connor's literary executors.

Capsule plot for non-O'Connor fans - young man escapes a sadistic Fundie childhood by joining the Army and becoming an atheist. Eventually finds that the Old-Time Religion sinks its claws in very deeply.

Excellent cast includes Brad Dourif as the tormented protagonist, and Amy Wright as a cheerfully sleazy preacher's daughter who writes Dear Abby to complain: "I cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven because I am a bastard."

With a truly outstanding line-up of crooked preachers: Harry Dean Stanton, William Hickey and Ned Beatty. The writing is also excellent, with whole blocks of dialogue taken directly from the novel:

"I'm a preacher."

"What denomination?"

"Church of Christ Without Christ."

"Is that Protestant?"

:rofl:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080140/

Oh, and if you have LOTS of time (and alcohol/recreational drugs)...the obvious choice for Sunday would be the "Left Behind" series. Suggest light refreshments, since that series serves up plenty of ham, cheese and corn.

It's funny and it annoys a lot of the types.

The Day After Tomorrow
Threads
and the entire series of British "Protect and Survive" PSA's.

I also have a recording of the 1971 accidental EBS activation as broadcast on WOWO in Fort Wayne IN.

The Life of Brian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjz16xjeBAA

"He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! "

the beginning segment is a classic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg


;)

I want to be raptured for eternity. :)

The latter is relatively unknown, a dark comedy from the UK about a video store clerk who is revealed to be the Second Coming, the real one, and what the whole point was all along.

Cheezy Canadian film student musical production of the second coming of JC. JC, Mary Magnum and Mexican wrestler Santos team up to hunt the undead. First, they must thwart efforts by evil atheists to stop them. It's really entertaining.

You've got less than a week to go so donate everything you own to the poor. Empty your bank accounts and take all the cash to your nearest homeless shelter. Give it all away.

If you won't do that, then not even YOU believe what you're preaching and when you wake up on May 22, and everything is normal, please take the time to acknowledge that that small voice of doubt that you pushed away for so long... was right.

And that it is most likely also right about there not being an invisible deity that had to sacrifice itself unto itself, to appease itself, so as to save us from itself.

(Which is no less ridiculous a believe than the May 21 rapture.)