The Concept of "Outing"

I am sure this has been asked a million times here, but I have not been aware of this great forum long enough to see what the opinions are about this issue.

I remember being really furious with Jodie Foster's brother for "outing" her in some book.

Maybe it's not my place to have an opinion. But I have personal issues of my own and it would be humiliating to have somehow "out" me on those.

The recent stories about Kelly McGillis brought this to light, because I don't know anybody who hasn't known this for twenty years.

What I like about this is that people respected her for all this time and it only became "news" when she decided it should be made publio.

I think that is awesome.

But I admit, I probably have no right to really have an opinion about whether it is right to "out" someone or not, although my best friend in high school, who eventually joined my major at the same university, was gay, and it was up to him when he revealed this.

The beach, the mountains, even just a drive to the big city for a change of scenery.

I'm not holding my breath however.

If you've built your career on/made your livelihood off of denigrating LGBTs and our community, you deserve to get outed, I hope you get outed, and I will help out you if it is at all in my power. You do not get to exploit us like that, period. You do not get to drink with us and fuck us in our bars and clubs on Friday night and preach about how sinful we are on Sunday morning. You do not get to come to our parties on Saturday night and then pass laws against us on Monday afternoon. It just don't work like that.

If you're just trying to live your life, I don't care if you're closeted. I'm sad, but it's ultimately none of my business. I am not out to everyone in my life, though I am out to most, for a lot of complicated reasons mostly having to do with my family's religious beliefs, but I make damn sure to call them on their bullshit when they start letting fly the homophobia (happening frequently as of late, now that marriage equality is a front and center issue here in NY).

People who are in the closet and not trying to hurt anyone from it have my deepest sympathy and support, and should be allowed to come out if and when they choose to. People who sit in the closet firing mortar shells at us can fucking burn as far as I'm concerned. It's not about "punishing" hypocrites, because being queer is not a bad thing. It's about shining a light on the parasites that are trying to destroy us.

thanks

That's pretty much my policy, too.

I agree wholeheartedly.

What a swell guy.

In my field there are many gay people, and most of them are closeted. This makes it more difficult for the few of us who are out. The chilling effect reaches out into society. Multiply my field by the thousands of other fields where it's career-limiting to be out, and we see the impact of the closet on perpetuating gay stereotypes and unequal treatment of gay people.

I know people in lavender marriages because its a career booster for them to be married, and they fear it would destroy their careers to be openly gay.

If every gay person were out, the world would change overnight. People would be astounded to learn how many of the people they do business with on a daily basis are actually gay. We're not just hairdressers and the odd female mechanic.

Would it have a big difference? Probably, but let's be real. For every heartwarming coming out story of acceptance, and bigoted people turning around you have stories like Stuart Miller's in the book Prayer Warriors (which would almost certainly happen to me). I think it's kind of naive to think everything would be hunky dory if everyone just came out and all the 'phobes knew someone who was GLBT. Too many people are just plain bigots, because of their fucked up religious beliefs, to ever change. Not to mention the fact that for many people it's not just a question of being held back in careers (which is horrible, don't get me wrong), it's a matter of literal physical survival. I'm thinking of people living in Right to Work states with no job protections, a situation I found myself in at one time. Or people living in places like in the movie Small Town Gay Bar. Or the kids I knew at Harvey Milk, half of which were on the street. Sometimes I think it's easy for folks who are out to pass judgment on those who aren't.

I agree with you that I think more people coming out is the only way to change things for the better, but I'm not prepared to make that decision for people, because I don't know their situations. If we had a better social safety net in place, more support and counseling and such, I think it would be a lot easier on people.

When someone is so hateful and phobic I'm much happier when I find out that we, in fact, have absolutely nothing in common. Pretty much every day, this is the case.

Well, and maybe in the case of celebrities who already have enough to live on whatever happens, and could help a lot of people by coming out, but I'm a lot more iffy about that.

I'm sure looking forward to the day when it won't matter.

IMO, it sucks to pry into anyone's personal life for any reason and to try to harm them with private information. It bothers me and I would never have part of it UNLESS...there is the kind of hypocrisy described above by someone who is in the closet and is actively trying to harm those who are gay and/or deny rights to gay persons such as marriage.

JMHO...:hi:

I cannot wait for the day that "outing" is obsolete because no one understands why you would feel you have to hide the fact that you are in love with someone.

I try to live by that - and politically if there is a closeted hateful person I must do them no harm Or show love to them by exposing their harm.

I work in a very large school, large enough that I don't even come close to knowing all the students or even all the teachers by name. Being out in that enviroment I think approximates being an out public figure on some levels. I can see why someone like Jodi Foster would prefer on some levels to keep the private, private. That said, I surely support outing of hypocrites even while giving passes to the likes of Ms. Foster. I also think that overall being out is better than not being out.

But I don't care for the Perez Hilton outings of celebrities who are just trying to keep their careers.