http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_18158890?nclick_check=1Four huge trunks remain unopened and dominate the living room of Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt's home in Rosemount.
The trunks, as well as several smaller boxes, contain the personal effects of the couple's oldest child, a son, U.S. Army Cpl. Andrew Charles Wilfahrt, killed in action Feb. 27 in Afghanistan.
The trunks and the boxes arrived from overseas and then from Hawaii about three weeks ago.
"We will probably open them sometime next week," Lori Wilfahrt told me Friday. "Our other children will be all here at that time, and they want to participate."
If the Wilfahrt name sounds familiar, it's because the soldier's name was prominently mentioned last weekend during the emotionally charged and pivotal House debate over whether Minnesota voters should decide through a state constitutional amendment to limit marriage to the union of a man and a woman.
Rep. John Kriesel, R-Cottage Grove, an Iraq combat veteran who lost his legs in a roadside bomb blast five years ago, distributed Wilfahrt's picture to fellow legislators before imploring his GOP colleagues to vote down the measure.
"He hit an IED (improvised explosive device) while keeping us safe and protecting our freedoms and giving us the right to have this debate tonight," said Kriesel, one of four Republicans who broke party ranks on the same-sex marriage issue.
Added Kriesel: "He (Wilfahrt) was gay. He was gay. I don't know about you guys, but I cannot look at this family and look at this
picture and say: 'You know what? Corporal, you were good enough to fight for your country and give your life. But you were not good enough to marry the person you love.' I can't do that. I cannot do that....Vote no and stand up for freedom."
The Republican House majority voted yes and passed the measure, sending it to the November 2012 ballot, in spite of the fact that state law already bars same-sex marriage. This was overkill and a waste of time by a Legislature that will be known more for championing divisive social issues than doing what most of us wanted it to do - compromise on a balanced budget and promote job growth.
"In short, to the state of Minnesota, his taxes were good enough, his blood was good enough, but his equal rights were not good enough," said Jeff Wilfahrt, Andrew's father.
As discouraging as the outcome was for them, the Wilfahrts also want people to know that their son was more than just a "gay" soldier. The oldest of three siblings, the 31-year-old Rosemount High School graduate was a soldier who happened to be gay. And regardless of where one stands on the same-sex marriage debate, it needs to be said that Wilfahrt's ultimate sacrifice, the blood he shed, is as good and noble and worthy of respect as any other fallen soldier's being remembered this Memorial Day weekend.
Although anti-war, Wilfahrt thought military service was where he might finally find his passion as well as purpose in life. The decision caught his parents and family by surprise. They knew, because of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy in effect, that he would have to go back into the closet and conceal his sexual orientation.
But their son told friends and colleagues that by entering the service, he would possibly take the place of a man or a woman who had children at home. The sacrifice, he felt, was worth any grief he would face because of his sexual orientation.
Wilfahrt enlisted in January 2009 and was assigned to the Army's 504th Military Police Battalion, 8th Military Police Brigade, 8th Theater Sustainment Command at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii. His unit deployed to Afghanistan last July.
"People in his unit knew he was gay. Their wives and girlfriends knew. People knew and nobody cared," Lori Wilfahrt said in a video tribute to her son. "I think he proved himself first, that he was a hard worker and a loyal friend and he was going to take care of them when he could. The gay part of it just did not matter."