Why stay in the closet at a gay-friendly job?

Especially in a gay-friendly industry?

Was at a gay-themed play at a regional theater yesterday, and saw a young colleague from work there with a bunch of his guy friends (some of whom were holding hands or had their arms around each other), and he literally HID behind one of his larger friends so I wouldn't see him. I was very surprised at his hiding, but it's his choice, so I didn't acknowledge that I had spotted him.

We have partner benefits at work, and the CFO and one of the VPs are out (it's a medium sized private company). Dark blue city in a blue state. Plus I consider this guy a work-friend, and he knows that I don't give a shit who anybody sleeps with and he knows my SO is an actor (not exactly the profession for a homophobe). So I don't understand why he didn't come over and say "hi" - it was great theater, and I was so eager to talk to someone I knew who had seen the show.

I know everyone comes out in their own time, I'm just curious about what would be keeping someone closeted in such a supportive environment.

It's because once you're out, even to supportive people, word travels. It's easy for the non-supportive people to use it against you. It's easy for people to stereotype you and then "gay" ends up being your entire identity.

People who are presumed to be straight to treated like individals. If you're out then you might not be. Sad but true.

even in a "gay-friendly company" not all the employees are gay-friendly...even some of the managers may not be gay-friendly.

I'm transsexual, I don't GET a choice about being "out." If I were merely GAY...where no one keeps any real record of it...I have to wonder if I would "come out" myself! For what? I don't need more hassles, and more unfriendly people!

Just was wondering. It's funny, because the night before, we ran into an actor friend of ours who had been in the closet for years, and has only recently come out, and it could be a skewed perception but he seems SO MUCH happier and more relaxed and easy-to-be-with, and I would wish that for this guy. But again, our actor friend works in the theater, which is NOT corporate America (even liberal, partners-benefits corporate America)

It took me til I was 26 to come out, even though my family, friends, & colleagues were and are supportive, and ASSUMED I was gay long before I was ready to come to grips with it myself. If he's not ready, he's not ready.

and won't mention to him that I saw him (or say anything to the guy from work who gave me the tickets, or anyone else at work either) It's his call.

Again, thanks for the insight. I figured someone on DU could explain it to me, since all our gay friends are involved in the theater, where there's no stigma (at least not in this community).

for coming out -- or about how to be gay.

If you have to ask yourself if your family is ready to know, they're not.

maybe a brother or sister or other "straight" friends who might see him there on occasion.

Maybe he's not physically ready to be "out" and available.