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Coming out over the phone- is it ever acceptable?

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Clintonista2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 02:32 AM
Original message
Coming out over the phone- is it ever acceptable?
I go to school in Canada, my father lives in Kansas, and my mother lives 8 hours away. I feel that I am about ready to come out to them, but the only way I can do this is over the phone. I've been told that coming out over the phone is the same as breaking up with a post-it note. What should I do?
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 02:34 AM
Response to Original message
1. of course it's acceptable
unless you think that they're going to react negatively, you may want to drop them a letter and tell them that you'll discuss it with them face to face the next time you're with them
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murielm99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 02:53 AM
Response to Original message
2. I think it is.
It is a difficult thing to do.

Check your pm.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 03:14 AM
Response to Original message
3. Breaking up with a post-it is bad?
Why didn't anybody tell me?
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Clintonista2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 03:19 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. LOL
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #3
9. that's a Sex in the City reference
it's sad that I know that
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BillSam Donating Member (440 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 04:37 AM
Response to Original message
5. A letter first
and then a follow-up phone call might be the best way to go, although I recently saw a documentary in which a man came out to his father over the phone and it turned out okay. The father said he'd heard things over the years and didn't seem surprised. Often parents are not as surprised as you might think.

Do you talk to your parents on a regular basis? Are you comfortable talking to them on the phone? If the answer is yes, then a phone call might be perfectly okay.

Best of luck.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 08:00 AM
Response to Original message
6. For me it would depend on how long I would have to wait if I didn't do it over the phone
Given how far away they are it seems unlikely they will find out without you telling them. So if you only have to wait a few months, it might be worth waiting. But, if you would have to wait for a really long time, it might be worth doing that. One other consideration would be to be sure you have a long block of time for the call and have a 'script'. I wish you all the best in this. Keep us updated.
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qb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
7. That's how I did it with my parents and siblings. No problem here. nt
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GodlessBiker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
8. Yes, it's acceptable. Don't empower yourself on one hand and unempower yourself on the other.
You decide.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
10. i think its perfectly acceptable. do what makes you comfortable and feels right to you
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dbackjon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
11. It can be fine - that is how I did it
I was in Arizona, folks/family in Illinois, Washington and Wisconsin. Important thing was to tell them personally, not let them hear it from someone else.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 05:42 PM
Response to Original message
12. it's your life -- so yes indeed it is acceptable.
you're not calling them to break up -- sex in the city and all that -- you're calling them to tell them something important and most of all something positive about your life.

perhaps the most important thing you'll ever tell them -- and you have to do it in the way that suits you best.
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